


After

by Mohito



Series: Before and After. [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 10:02:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 84,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10511508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mohito/pseuds/Mohito
Summary: What happened after Ian left Mickey at the border?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do want to warn you dear reader, this work is VERY long. I have spent the better part of three weeks writing it and I think I didn't want it to end. This is after my other work 'Before' and there are a few references in this story to that one but not enough that you wouldn't know what's going on if you don't read 'Before.'
> 
> I would also like to apologize for my grammar. I like to write but I could never quite get the in's and out's of comma's, they kick my ass man. 
> 
> I am not a big fan of the mushier fictions about Ian and Mickey but there is some mushiness in this. If it seems too mushy just keep reading, if it gets too sad keep reading and if it gets funny I hope it makes you laugh.
> 
> So grab a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey and I hope dear reader you have as much fun reading this as I had writing it.

The gate came down behind the car and he looked in the rearview mirror, he saw Ian watching the car. He stepped on the gas petal looked forward and drove, his hands white with his hard grip on the wheel his body flashed hot and cold. He looked back and made sure he was far enough away and tore off the wig.

The road stretched in front of him, he focused on it and nothing else and drove blindly.

He reached for a cigarette his eyes fell to the envelope with the money, his chest tightened and his breath came fast as his foot pushed down harder on the pedal. He jerked the wheel and stomped on the brake, the dirt flew up around the car as it spun out over the side of the road until it came to grinding halt. He slammed it into park and forced the door open with a jerk. He flew out moving fast and stalked away from the car, his hand came to his eyes he pushed his fingers in hard. His whole body was shaking and he rubbed his hand over his face. He put his hands on his hips and open mouth took deep gulping breathes. 

His eyes opened a wide landscape of weeds and dirt stretched out. Nothingness. He squeezed them shut again and put his head down. 

‘MOVE!’ He said to himself. He turned and walked back to the car and slammed the door shut. 

At the first gas station he saw he stopped, grabbed the money and his bag from the back and found a bathroom. 

‘Move, move, move. ‘He said to himself. He tore off the dress, stripping fast and leaving the clothes where they fell. He turned the tap in the dinky sink and splashed water over his face and when he came up and saw himself in the hazy mirror, he said to himself firmly. “Don’t think.”He quickly dressed in his own clothes. 

He grabbed his bag and walked out numb.

He got a bottle, a big one. He twisted the cap as soon as he got in the car and drove until he saw a building that looked like a Motel. It was a shit hole and that suited him just fine. He went to the desk and said “Room” the old man behind the counter said “Hour?” Mickey brought out a 20. “What’ll this get me?”

The man held up 2 fingers, Mickey flipped out another 20 and threw it down. The man slid the money through the space under the glass and dropped a key through the slot, Mickey snatched it up and stalked out.

 

He found the room and slammed the door behind him letting out a long heavy breath. There was only a bed and a side table, one little window to let the smallest enough of light in. There was a one doorway and he saw a tiny bathroom, he dropped the bag and headed for it and made it to the toilet before he vomited violently bracing his arms on the sides of the bowl to hold his body up, his body wracking, his eyes watering, he heaved smelling whiskey and puke.

When the waves stopped and he spat out the last of it, he sat back away from the smell and eyes closed eyes. His whole body weak from the upheaval, he sat back further against the door dragging his knees up in front of him. The pain bubbled and spread, waves coursed through him and he shook with it. He banged his head back hard hissing and brought his hand up to his head and held it. He dragged himself up and found the bottle, he brought it back with him to the bathroom and rinsed his mouth out with whiskey until the retched taste in his mouth was gone. 

He found the smokes and set them with the whiskey on the nightstand. His boots and jeans came off and pulled at the thin bedspread and flipped it. 

He sat back against the headboard and didn’t hear anything, the hard bangs against the walls or the raised voices. He set himself up with an ashtray in front of him, the bottle at his side and lit up. He felt another wave of pain start to rise up and he did the only thing that calmed him, he closed his eyes and brought Ian’s face to his mind. Ian smiling-Ian laughing- Ian pissed, Ian when he said he loved him. He held onto his face until his breathing slowed and the pain dulled. He took a drag and put his head back opening his eyes. 

He drank and let the whiskey settle his raging emotions, he didn’t want to think but he needed to, he needed to get back to a place where he could understand. Slowly his emotions calmed enough so he could think.

He went over it in his mind, Ian’s eyes. 

“This isn’t me anymore” Mickey knew that, of course he knew. 

They didn’t say much to each other usually, heart to hearts weren’t what they did. They only needed a few words because they knew each other so well or Mickey thought they did. He didn’t get how they had gone from having that talk about the past in the car to ‘Hey man can’t go!’ It didn’t make sense, it wasn’t like Ian. He could count on two things in this world, himself and Ian.

He went over everything that had happened since the bleachers. The images shifted through his mind, he went over them one by one. Something must have happened, nothing else made sense but they hadn’t been apart for more than a few minutes for the past three days. 

Idiot Damon? No, he ditched him. Laying outside at night laughing and talking, he had punched him, but Ian wasn’t a pussy. The bank? Ian had wanted all the money for them, so that wasn’t it. The Motel, they had had one night where there was no one and nothing but them, it was fucking incredible to feel that again. The way Ian felt about him poured out of him until he felt like he could almost touch it. What the fuck? His eyes burned with hot tears. 

He took a long hit of the whiskey and stood up and stalked around like a caged animal. ‘There had to be something’ he thought to himself. Ian didn’t just go off like that, he thought about shit, a lot. He tried to think if he remembered a shift in Ian’s feelings toward him, there wasn’t one except the phone thing but that was ju…

He froze and his chest tightened, it came to him like a lighting strike. The phone.

He started shaking and his legs weakened, he took two shaky steps back to the bed and sat against the headboard. His arms and knees came up around him, he sat with his hands on his head and tried to breathe. Ian’s eyes came to him before and after he had heard the phone, he was happy before, as happy as Mickey had ever seen him. After he was quiet and looked sad when he thought Mickey wasn’t looking. Mickey had thought it was nerves and leaving his family. 

Mickey’s vision was blurred with the tears he let fall, straight down onto the bedspread. It wasn’t just a fight, it wasn’t the anger or the jealousy and it wasn’t the phone. 

It was Ian.

Ian knew what it meant if they were caught. Ian knew that they would do anything and everything to protect each other, they would die to protect each other. 

‘It was for me. He did it for me.’ Mickey’s thoughts and heart swirled around that one thought.

Mickey didn’t move for a long time, he took in breathe but his mind in the moment of the kiss after the fight and the wash of love he felt, Ian knew he wasn’t going with him then. The talk in the car was Ian wanting him to know he loved him and always had.

Mickey’s hands fell to his waist in front of his legs and he sat back. He rested his head against the headboard and let his eyes close. He knew Ian felt responsible for him as he did for Ian, but it must have torn him up. The look in his eyes when they were about to go over the border, the way he said I love you. Mickey had been so hurt he wasn’t going with him that he didn’t see it, he didn’t hear it.

“I can’t.” I can’t watch you get arrested or die.

“This isn’t me anymore.” I can’t be on guard every minute of every day and when I do make a mistake, you will pay the price, and he was putting the blame on himself, ‘pussying out.’ 

“I’m sorry.’ For turning on the phone and making that mistake that led to this. 

He saw it now. 

Mickey closed his eyes and thought about everything Ian must have felt when he made up his mind, he knew how he must have felt because Mickey knew how he would feel if he had to give up Ian if he thought it would keep him alive. 

‘It was for me.’ he thought again. He felt his heart ache for Ian feeling like he would cause Mickey to end up back on prison or dead. He wanted to go back and say,

‘Nothing bad will ever happen as long as we’re together’ but he knew he would have been lying. Ian was right; he would kill for him and die for him. The thought of Ian doing it, killing and dying for him made his heart hurt and his chest fill with overwhelming pressure. He couldn’t see Ian hurt, he loved him too much.

And Ian, the only person he had ever loved and would ever love, loved HIM too much. He felt the tears on his face as he closed his eyes against the pain but he didn’t wipe them away, he let them come. 

 

Ian watched the car with his tears falling down his face until it drove around the bend in the road and he was gone. He felt all the light go out of him, it just clicked off. He didn’t want to move, if he moved he would have to turn away and that may hurt even more than this. His head fell to his chest and he tried to take in a breath but all that came was a shuddering sob. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. He was shaking from head to toe, he swayed and moved himself over to the guard rail guiding his body over with a hand and sat on the ground in front of it. He dragged his knees up, held his head and forced his breath in and out. 

Mickey’s face tore at him and his heart felt like it was being shredded. His mind was filled with Mickey’s voice, his face and the love that came from him when he kissed him. He had been instantly forgiven.

“Fuck you Gallagher” 

Fuck you Gallagher- it meant a hundred things, it meant fuck you for not coming with me. It meant I love you.

Ian sat for a long time, his sight came back slowly and when he felt he could get up, he stood with shaky legs. He walked slowly with his head down lifting his bag on his shoulder and headed for home. 

 

The sun had gone down in Mexico and Mickey sat in the dark for a long time, the only light was from his cigarettes. He finally sat up at the edge of the bed and steeled himself against the emotions still slicing around in him. He walked to the bathroom in the dark and found a light, the glare hit his eyes and he squeezed them shut, his eyes squinting he found the tap and twisted it. The pipes squealed and thumped but water came out eventually, he splashed cold water on his face over and over until his face felt numb. 

He lifted his shirt and dried his face as he walked into the room to find his bag. It was on the floor where he had dropped it as soon as he came in. He picked it up and threw it on the bed, he unzipped it and saw his tee-shirt Ian had stolen and given back, he reached down into the bottom until he felt the little phone that was there and pulled it out, sitting on the bed he opened the phone, there were only three numbers. 

He hit the second number. It rang three times and he heard,

“Yeah?”

“I’m here” he said.

“Good, you know where to go.” Click

He hit end and looked over at the tee- shirt at the top of the bag. He had one more call to make.

He hit the third number and it barely rang,

“Westford, Long and Associates, how may I assist you.” A chirpy voice said.

“It’s Mick, I need to talk to him.”

“Of course, one moment please.”

He head a long buzz and then,

“Hey Mick, how’s Mexico?” He said casually like he had gone on vacation. 

“Hot.” He answered.

“Oh I bet.” he said sarcastically

“We need to go to the backup plan.” There was a long pause, Mickey waited and closed his eyes.

“I see.” He finally said. Mickey dropped the phone to his jaw and sat back, he pushed his thumb and fingers into his stinging eyes and said,

“You’ll do it?” 

“Consider it done” he said. 

He took the phone away from his ear and hit the end button, he tossed it on the bed and rubbed both his hands over his face. He took off his shirt and put on his lost and found tee-shirt and it smelled like Ian after a shower. 

 

Ian was a little nervous as he sat in a booth at Patsy’s, he hadn’t talked to Trevor in three weeks and he knew he owed him an explanation and an apology. He wasn’t surprised it had taken him a day to text back when he asked him to go to coffee, he deserved to be ignored but he had said yes. Ian drank his coffee and tried to figure out what he was going to say to him. The truth was hard but that’s what he needed to do, he needed to be truthful about where he had been and why. 

He saw Trevor at the door and watched him open it and come in. Ian waved and Trevor didn’t smile. 

‘Still pissed’ Ian thought. ‘OK, that’s fair.’

Trevor sat across from him and said,

“Hey.” he wasn’t looking directly at Ian. Ian let out a breath.

“How are you?” Ian asked

“OK” Trevor shrugged.

“Do you want something, I can get the waitress” Ian turned around to look for her.

“No. That’s ok, I’m good” Trevor said and crossed his arms on the table.

“What’s up?” He asked.

Ian played with the handle of his coffee and knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you since the funeral but I ahhh, wasn’t sure if you wanted to talk to me.”

Trevor sat back in the booth and said nothing. Ian continued,

“Look, I wanted to try and explain what happened if I can, you deserve that. It wasn’t fair of me to drop off the face of the planet like that, and I’m sorry. 

Trevor looked at him and relaxed a little. “OK’ he said.

Ian looked down at his coffee and knew this was the hard part, talking about Mickey. 

“You made me happy, and I probably would have stayed happy but…” he trailed off, taking a breath and spoke from the heart.

“I’ve loved Mickey since I was 15, we were all we had then, it was just us. When we got older and we wanted more, a real relationship, it got…. complicated.” Ian looked away he couldn’t tell him details, that was between him and Mickey and that was off limits. 

“It took years for us to finally be able to be together, it created this…I’m not sure how to say it..bond, it created a bond that will always be there. “

Ian looked at Trevor, he was listening and he didn’t run out the door, he was doing well so far. 

“You still love him.” Trevor said. It wasn’t a question.

“Yes.” Ian said.

Trevor looked away and crossed his arms.

“Trevor, you’ve loved someone before, don’t you still love him?

Trevor looked at him and Ian saw he was starting to get it. 

“I want you to know me leaving doesn’t mean I didn’t care about you, I do. Mickey”…he trailed off again. “Mickey was my whole life and I was his… it’s hard to explain.” Ian looked away.

“I get it” he heard.

He looked back at Trevor.

“It’s that crazy first love.” He said. 

“Yeah” Ian said. “Yeah” He repeated.

“I’ve felt that man.” Trevor smiled. “That shit gets in your head.”

Ian nodded and smiled.

“Ya!”he said. 

“I was worried” Trevor said.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Ian said.

Trevor let out a long breath. 

“Ok, I can have coffee now.” He said with a smile.

Ian laughed and waved the waitress over. Trevor ordered coffee and pie and Ian asked for a second piece for himself.

“So, where do we go from here?” Trevor asked.

“I’m not really sure, I’m just not in a good head space right now with everything that’s gone on. “ He sipped his coffee.

The waitress set Trevor’s coffee and their plates of pie on the table. 

“Thanks” he said to the waitress.

Trevor put cream and sugar in his coffee and stirred it with a spoon, he put the spoon down and picked it up and before he drank it held it on front of him and said,

“Hey I was there at the funeral, you have a lot going on and if you need some time I can understand that.”

“I really want to you in my life.” Ian said.

Trevor smiled and said “Me too.”

Ian smiled back and picked up his fork to eat his pie.

 

Ian was getting back into the routine of life but it wasn’t easy. All that had happened in a short amount of time and he knew he had to be really careful about his meds. He felt a little lost, and sometimes the hurt would come and it was overwhelming. It was at night usually, he’d start to think about Mickey, he thought about the Motel mostly. They had one perfect day and most people wouldn’t see it as perfect, but it was to him. Everything about them was in that day, the love, the sex, the fun, the shit hitting the fan and them being there for each other. 

When he couldn’t sleep on those nights he’d look at the picture Mickey took for him of the sunrise coming up over the horizon and at sides he could see the edges of the ugly drapes that were in the room. He looked at those drapes a lot and wanted to be back there more than anything. He kept the picture locked in his phone is a separate file and it was protected with his pass code, Mick. 

He had checked in with his doctor a few times since being home and she seemed to think he was doing well, it was true he wasn’t exactly chipper but being BI-Polar didn’t mean he was immune to the regular emotions everyone had, being sad was normal. 

He had hung out with Trevor more and more and they were good as friends. Ian was spending more time at the center where Trevor worked. The kids there reminded him of him and Mickey when they were young, they were lost and alone and sometimes petrified. He would talk to them but mostly he would listen. Trevor was OK with him being around and the kids took to him.

Trevor was closing down the center for the day and they walked out together.

“Kelly really likes you” Trevor said.

“She’s a nice kid.”

“She is not!” Trevor said laughing. “Jesus, she nearly took her roommates eye out.”

Ian smiled. “Nah, it’s all a cover, you can see it.”

“Maybe you can.” Trevor said as they walked to the car. 

“It’s a whole different language and you’ll get it if you’d listen.” Ian said teasing.

“Yeah, ok.” Trevor said rolling his eyes. 

“Want to get a beer.” Trevor asked as they pulled out.

“I can’t I have an early shift, like 6am.”

“Blah, brutal.” Trevor said. 

“No shit.”

“I’m really glad you started hanging out at the center.”

“Yeah, I like it. The kids are amazing and they have been through some shit. Wow.” Ian said 

Trevor nodded and was quiet and Ian knew had been wanting to ask him something for a while. 

“What?” Ian said.

“It’s just you don’t seem bothered by some of their stories, empathetic yes but not shocked.”

“OK?”

“I got the feeling there’s a lot you’ve been through too.” Trevor said quietly.

Ian fiddled with his button on his jacket and looked out the window.

“Not me.”

“Ah.” Trevor said. “That bad?”

“Worse.” Ian said quietly.

Trevor let out a long breath and said.

“If you ever want to talk man, I’m here.” Trevor said.

Ian nodded and said. “Thanks.”

Ian turned up the radio to one of the songs Trevor liked and they sang along the rest of the way to Ian’s house. They were singing as loud as they could and dancing in the car. When the song was over they laughed at themselves as Trevor pulled in front of Ian’s. 

“Thanks man.” Ian said and gave him a hug.

“See ya. Take it easy.” Trevor said with a smile.

Ian watched the car pull away still smiling when he walked into the house. He heard loud voices as he came through the door. He saw Lip and Fiona standing around the couch with two men he’d never seen before, 

‘Cops’ he knew immediately.

They turned to him and he saw badges on their chests hanging from metal chains. He slowly put his bag down on the floor and stepped away from it. Lip and Fiona were staring at him, he knew why they were here and Ian was prepared. 

He set his face to not show any emotion. 

“Ian they want to take you in for questioning?” Fiona said with a stunned look on her face.

“He’s not going, he doesn’t have to unless he’s under arrest.” Lip said.

The cops looked him over and he didn’t say a word.

“We need to ask you some questions.” The big cop said, “No.” Lip said. “No way.” His arms were crossed over his chest and he was braced on his legs like he was going to fight them off. 

“Lip.” Ian said.

Lip looked at him and Ian gave a slight shake of his head. He relaxed his stance but was still shaking his head.

“You need to come with us.” The smaller cop said.

They walked to him and he turned and followed them out of the house. Fiona and Lip followed him.

“Ian…Ian…Jesus, what the fuck?” Fiona said.

Lip hissed out “Shit” as Ian climbed into the big black car. The big cop slammed the door and he saw Fiona and Lip standing on the sidewalk looking very worried for him. He nodded to let them know he was going to be OK and he stared straight ahead as the car drove him away.

 

He was taken into a little room in a large federal building. The big cop waved at the chair and Ian sat straight up, his hands on the table. The cop closed the door and said,

"I’m Agent Sutter and you’re being questioned about you’re involvement in the escape of Mikhailo Milkovich and aiding and abetting after the fact of an escaped convict.”

“Am I under arrest?” Ian asked

“No, not at this time.” He answered.

The little cop came in with a folder and put it on the table in front of Agent Sutter, he stood next to the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

‘Trying to look intimidating” Ian thought. 

“This is Agent Harris.” The big cop said. 

Agent Harris (Little Cop) stared at him steely eyed and Ian almost laughed. He was money and soft with it, he may be a Fed but he was wearing an expensive watch and his clothes were pretty high end and if Ian wasn’t mistaken his nails were manicured.

Agent Sutter (Big Cop) on the other hand was blue collar all the way. His shoes were scuffed and he wore old jeans and a polo shirt. He seemed easy going but Ian knew he was the one to watch out for. He was easily over six feet and barrel chested, he was mid 50's and his white hair was balding on the top of his head. He had deep laughter lines around his eyes and mouth and his eyes were light blue and they gave off a very good impression of bored and tired. 

Big Cop flipped open the folder casually and Ian saw a picture of Mickey’s mugshot, he was younger and he had the almost completely healed scratch on his cheek from when he fell when he was in the psych ward. Ian only glanced at it and looked straight at Big Cop as he looked over the file, he flipped it up and Mickey’s face was right in front of him. 

‘Smart.” Ian thought. ‘This guy is no joke’

He set his face and waited, he flipped through the pages slowly. Flip, flip, flip.

He was trying to make him sweat and make him look straight at Mickey, so he obliged him and looked at Mickey’s picture. He saw the look in his eyes it was a combination of sad and pissed.

That part of the little play done Big Cop let the pages come together and set it down on the table, he casually sat back and crossed his ankle over his knee and brushed a hand through his hair.

“Ian I have to say, you have a long list of charges here. You’re what, 22?”

Ian said nothing.

He sighed. “I’d like to help you if I can.” 

He flipped through the pages again. 

“Even if I got the aiding and abetting a prison escape dropped there is the fact that you traveled with Milkovich and that’s hard time Ian.”

Ian was impressed with his play, say my name and deal it down. 

“What the fuck kid?” Little Cop said in a nasty tone. “You let this scum bag screw you over and leave you here while he’s off fuck knows where? Give us his location and maybe we’ll take a year off the end of a very hard run inside.”

Ian looked at Big Cop and his eyes showed what Ian felt. Bad play.

They didn’t know where Mickey was, good. They thought Mickey left him, good. 

“Ian.” Big Cop started. “If you know where he is it would help you.”

“He knows where he is.” Little Cop leaned across the table into his face. “Don’t you?!”

Ian looked him dead in the eye and said, “Lawyer.”

Little Cop banged a hand on the table and said,

“Tell me where he is.” 

“Lawyer.” Ian repeated.

Big Cop put his hand on Little Cops arm and pulled him back.

“Ian, let’s not go down that road because once we do there’s nothing I can do for you.” Big cop said calmly.

Ian stayed quiet and Little Cop paced with his arms crossed.

“He tried to kill your sister didn’t he?” Big Cop asked. “He’s dangerous Ian, who’s to say he doesn’t come back and try and hurt you?” Ian almost smiled at that, but he kept his face motionless. 

‘Dangerous? Ahh yeah, but not to me.’ He thought.

Big Cop sighed and asked, “Do you want coffee? I want coffee. Harris?” 

Little Cop was pissed he asked him to go but he went. 

“He’s a dick.” Big Cop said after the door closed. “But he’s my partner and that means something.”

‘Shit, he’s good.’ Ian thought. ‘He’s probably South Side’

“I understand the loyalty Ian I do, but this is bigger than your neighborhood. He’s a danger and he’s out there somewhere maybe hurting people.”

‘He may be a danger but only to people who deserve it, and it’s more likely he’s hurting himself more than anybody else.’ Ian thought.

“You were friends for a long time?” Big Cop asked. 

‘Friends?’ Yeah we were friends. HA!’ Ian thought.

“You worked together for a couple years at the…what is it?”

Ian stayed silent and Big Cop flipped through the papers and Mickey’s picture was right in his face again. 

“Kash and Grab.” He let the papers fall and waited for Ian to say something.

He didn’t. They stared at each other, Big Cop had a sympathetic look on his face and Ian’s was stone cold.

Little Cop opened the door and carried in two coffees and put them on the table in front of Big Cop, he slid it across the table toward Ian. Ian sat back, he wasn’t touching that cup. Big Cops eyes flickered and he saw the smarts behind the easy going nature. They probably had his prints from the army but not his DNA, and his DNA was all over that Motel room. 

Little Cop scoffed and leaned against the wall.

“Think you’re smart? Smart can’t beat video evidence tough guy.” He said.

Ian smiled internally, video. Yeah he knew about the videos and now he knew they had them.

Big Cop rolled his eyes and pinched his nose at the bridge and brought his arms together over his chest. 

“Alright Ian, tell me what you want here.” 

“Lawyer.” Ian said with a sneer. 

“You little faggot.” Little Cop burst out. “Who do you think you are huh, some big shit? You’re just some stupid twink who got dumped by his daddy.” 

Ian let himself smile for the first time. Big came out of his chair and got in Little Cops face and held his arm out toward the door.

‘They knew he was gay and they thought Mickey had used him to get out of prison and dumped him, they didn’t know shit’ He thought with a laugh.

Harris stormed out and the door slammed. “I’m sorry.” Big Cop said and Ian thought he actually meant it.

“He’s homophobic and enjoys using nasty slurs.” He said with a sigh.

“He’s gay” Ian said.

Big looked shocked, Ian wasn’t sure if it was because he spoke or that he thought Harris was gay.

Big smiled and sat back, “You think?” He asked.

Ian nodded. 

Big let out a laugh and said, “Makes sense.”

He took a sip of his coffee and looked over it at Ian.

“We need to talk about this evidence Ian.”

“OK, Agent Sutter” Ian said casually.

Big smiled and looked at him shrewdly.

“You’re smart.” He said. 

He turned his chair around and sat squarely in front of Ian until they sat face to face and he said,

“Alright no bullshit, we have video of you with Milkovich in three states, we have eyewitness accounts of you driving a car away from a robbery and we have still shots of you driving a stolen car. Ian you’re in deep shit here.”

Ian stayed quiet, he had almost forgotten about the store. 

“I can help you out if you tell me where he is and I can see about having these charges dropped.”

“I’m not under arrest.” Ian said.

“No but the only thing keeping you from being arrested right now is me, I wanted to talk to you first.” He paused for a beat. “I don’t believe you had any knowledge of the escape but this….”

He flipped open the folder to a still shot of him and Mickey in the bank, he turned it over to a picture of Mickey running out of a store and Ian holding a gas pump.

Ian looked up at him and didn’t look at the rest of the pictures as he flipped through them one by one. 

Big brought his hands together on the table and bit his lower lip and an image of Mickey came to his mind doing the same thing. 

“Where is he Ian?” He asked, his voice hard and Ian knew this was the real cop under the act. 

“Lawyer.” Ian said.

“Stand up please.” Big said. 

Ian stood. Big Cop pushed back his chair taking out his cuffs and said, 

“Ian Gallagher you’re under arrest for aiding and abetting a known felon after the fact you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to an attorney if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you, do you understand these rights?” He gestured to Ian’s hands and he lifted them out in front of him.

“Yes.” Ian said as he snapped the cuffs on his wrists. 

 

Ian sat cuffed and felt the steel on his wrists. Big had cuffed him and left the room, he supposed he couldn’t go far like this if he tried. The folder was in front of him, he was tempted to look but he had a feeling it was a ploy and didn’t touch it.

They had evidence but they didn’t have Mickey. They didn’t know he was gay, they thought he played the part to get him to help him, it was all backwards. They didn’t believe he was gay because they stereotyped gay people into a box. Tough street thugs couldn’t be gay, nah. Gay people didn’t escape from prison and knock over stores, no. They ate kelp and drove hybrids, they didn’t fight with fists they threw hissy fits. He thought about some of the knock out fights he and Mickey had had and they were definitely not hissy fits. 

Ian was laughing inside and he knew he shouldn’t be, he was under arrest for aiding a abetting and that was hard time, just one of those pictures would be enough to put him away for life.

Big Cop came back in and Gay Cop (formerly little cop) trailed behind him looking pissed. Ian puckered his lips at him, Gay Cop’s eyes went wide and he took two steps toward him.

“Hey” Big said to Gay Cop sternly and Gay Cop froze.

Ian smiled sweetly at Gay Cop and he glared at him and that reminded him of Mickey as well. 

“We’re going to go through this one step at a time…” Big said. 

Ian sat back and listened to everything he had to say.

The questions were endless, the same question asked in different ways.

“Did he say where he’d meet you?” Big Cop.

“Did you meet him or did he come to you?” Gay Cop. ‘Bet you’d love to know.’ he thought and gave Gay Cop a hot look. 

“Did he say where he was going?” Big Cop.

“Did he tell you how he got out of prison?” Big Cop.

“Where did you stay? Were you alone? What did you do?” Gay Cop. 

Ian turned to him breaking his stony stare. 

“What do you think we did?” He said suggestively and Gay Cop turned red. 

“Alright, Jesus.” Big Cop said like he was separating his naughty children.

Ian smiled wickedly.

 

More threats…

“He’s dangerous Ian, what about your family?”

“If I talk to the D.A. I may be able to get these charges dropped but only if you talk to me.”

“You have a life Ian. You’re an EMT, correct? You’re going to give that up and do jail time, for what?

Big Cop went on and on Ian stayed silent. 

Gay Cop was silent and steaming until he came up from the wall and said,

“He's fucking some chic right now, he’s not thinking about you! You were just a ride and a blowjob to him.”

Ian had to grin at that one. ‘Fucking some chic, Ya, ok.’ Ian turned to him and said,

“You’re so interested in his sex life, what’s that tough guy? Got a little crush?” Gay Cop went red and took two steps toward him. 

“You’re not his type.” Ian said with a huge grin as he came at him. 

Big Cop was up and pushing him out the door before he could get to Ian.

Ian laughed. Big slammed the door and looked at Ian. 

“Jesus kid. “He said. 

Ian said nothing and went back to his stone face.

It seemed like hours he sat there and listened to Big Cop prattle off the evidence and asking more questions. Ian listened, he knew they didn’t have his DNA and that was good. They didn’t know about the Motel and that made him feel better, he didn’t know why but if they knew about the Motel it would somehow feel invasive. 

Big Cop was out of coffee, he stood up to get more and closed the door behind him. Ian let out a long sigh. He hadn’t answered one question, but he was tired and realized it had to be late by now.

He was gone a really long time. Ian closed his eyes and sat back, that gay cop was something. Fucking a chic, he scoffed. It was typical closeted behavior. He thought about Mickey and really hoped he was OK, he didn’t care what he was doing as long as he was breathing and kicking someone’s ass he’d be happy. 

He heard the door open and Big Cop came in and a man Ian had never seen before came in after him. He was wearing a really nice heavy coat and carrying a briefcase. 

‘D.A.?’ Ian thought but they couldn’t afford that kind of coat.

“I’d like a moment alone with my client please.” he said unbuttoning his coat and under it was a very expensive suit. 

Big Cop gave him a long look and went out the door closing it with a snap. Ian looked up at him and he looked vaguely familiar, he was mid 40’s with had dark hair and dark eyes, his face was wide and open but his eyes were flat when he had talked to the Fed. His suit fit him well and he wore a wide platinum wedding ring which impressed him until Ian got a look at his watch and saw a ROL. A Rolex? 

‘What the fuck?’ Ian thought. 

He sat where Big Cop had and opened his briefcase. He pulled out a file and it looked exactly like the one that had sat on the table before. 

“I’m Phillip Westford.” He stuck out his hand and Ian looked at it and lifted his hands to show him the cuffs.

“Fucking cops” He said and Ian was surprised. Fancy lawyers talked like that?

“Alright, let’s see what they’ve got here…hmmm” He said flipping open the file. 

Ian was stunned silent. He was a real lawyer, like the ones you pay for. 

“Shit” he said, Ian almost said ‘What?’ but Westford was whistling through his teeth. 

He sat back and closed the folder, he sized Ian up and Ian did the same. 

“Who the fuck ARE you?” Ian asked in a rush.

“I’m your lawyer.” He said with a smile.

“Ya, I got that but I didn’t call one.” Ian said.

“They didn’t give you your call.” He said his eyes darkening. 

“No I didn’t ask, I didn’t say a word.” Ian said.

“Good.” He said with a sharks smile.

“Seriously, who are you? I can’t pay for you if you chase cases.”

Westford scoffed, as if to say ‘Please’

“All you’re going to do right now is slap a sad look on your face and you’ll be out of here in 10 minutes, then we’ll get a drink my treat.” He stood and walked to the door before Ian could say anything. He knocked on it and it opened, Big Cop and Gay Cop came in shutting the door behind them. 

Westford’s body language completely changed when they came in the room, he went from laid back to stiff and serious. He stood behind Ian and put his hand on his shoulder. He gave Ian a stern look.

‘Oh right, sad face.’ He thought and put his head down and tried his best. 

“My client you dragged in here so callously and arrested is the victim of kidnapping! He was held hostage for days while the federal government was too busy worrying about one escaped prisoner.” He paused. Ian looked at Gay Cop and he was bullshit, Ian put his head back down ‘Sad face. ‘He reminded himself and tried to wipe the wicked smile off of his face. 

“Mickey Milkovich kidnapped Ian and threatened him, he held him at gun point and made him take out all of his money from the bank as you can see from these pictures. He was terrified and pleading for his life and you ARREST him?” He scoffed shaking his head.

Big Cop was leaning against the wall and he looked a little amused. That could be a ploy, but he really did look he was enjoying the show.

“Please take the cuffs off of him.” Ian was shocked when Big Cop came over with the key. 

“What the..” Ian said.

He took the cuffs off and put them away at his belt.

“If you’d like to speak to my client again it will be only when I am present but I’m sure you will NOT, will you.” He said with a cold smile. 

Big Cop and Gay Cop walked out of the room and closed the door.

Ian looked up at him and had a grin from ear to ear across his face.

“What the fuck man.” He said again.

“Ian my friend you need to work on your sad face, let’s go get that drink.” He walked out the door and Ian put his hands up and could do nothing but follow him.

 

They walked out of the building into the cold.

“Brrrrr, where is he….ah there.” Westford said and nodded toward the street.

Ian saw a big black town car pulling up to the curb. 

“This is your car?” Ian said.

“No, it’s the firms’ car. It’s not really my style but it’s warmer than the L.” He said and he stepped into the car leaving the door open for Ian. 

Jesus, this was nuts. The guy could be a serial killer and liked little gay red heads for all he knew.

“Hey Gallagher get in the car, its freaking freezing out there. Jesus.” He heard from inside the car.

He bent over and looked in and Westford was holding a glass and a bottle in his hand, he shook the bottle at him.

“Hmm?” He said with a smile and a glint in his eyes.

Ian laughed and got in the car. 

 

It was warm and Ian felt the cold and the weight of the past few hours roll off of him. He took the glass Westford held out and drank. He had no idea what it was but it was so good. 

Westford poured his own drink and took a sip.

“Ahh. Good huh?’ He said and gave Ian a big open smile. 

Ian nodded and took another long swallow.

“Alright” Ian started “No more bullshit! Who are you why are you here and how did you do that?”

Westford took a long sip and smacked his lips around. Ian waited.

“I am a lawyer and I’m from South Side, I grew up about three blocks from you.”

“OK?” Ian said.

“I took an interest in you.” He said with a shrug. 

Ian eyed him warily.

“No, not that way.” He smiled. “I am very happily married and have been for 14 years. I took an interest in you because when I saw that Milkovich escaped on the news it took me back, it’s a tough neighborhood and I remember what it was like to grow up there.” 

Ian drank and tried to figure out his angle.

Westford took out his wallet from his inside coat pocket and opened it, he handed it to Ian. Ian took it and saw inside the plastic was a picture of Westford and a nice looking older man who had a kind face and beautiful gray eyes.

“That’s my David” he said, and Ian could hear the love in his voice.

“Wow” Ian said. “14 years?” 

“Yeah, but we were together a long time before that, I was married to a woman for a while.” 

Ian nodded and looked down at the picture. They were both wearing matching silky shirts in different colors. David was graying a little but he was handsome and Westford looked like he had been laughing when the picture was taken. 

“I know what it’s like to be gay in South Side. I married a woman for Christ’s sake?!” He said it like it was the craziest idea ever.

Ian closed the wallet and handed it back, Westford put it in his coat pocket and poured them each another drink. 

“I have a snitch in the office there.” He waved his drink around. “She’s expensive but I get everything I need.”

“So that’s how you knew I was there, but why?”

“Like I said, I took an interest. I gave her your name and if you had been arrested anywhere I would have known.” He said.

“I can’t pay you.” Ian said.

Westford looked at him with steely eyes. 

“Fuck you.” Westford shot out and Ian heard he wasn’t lying, he was South Side through and through. 

“I may not fucking live there anymore but I’m still South Side and I CAN use the system to fuck the system.” His eyes were flat and cold. “And if I get an innocent kid off in the process, everybody wins.” He said and lifted his glass. 

“How do you know I’m innocent?” Ian asked.

“I know.” He said and his smile came back. “That’s not to say you’re not stupid for talking to the cops and by the way, ‘sad face’ does not mean snickering at the cop!” he said.

Despite himself Ian laughed. “I couldn’t help it he was such a dick.” Ian said. 

“Oh ya, closeted feds are the worst.” Westford said with a smirk.

Ian laughed again, the warmth of the car and the alcohol was going to his head.

“How’d you get them to drop the charges like that?” Ian asked. 

Westford smiled his shark smile and said,

“There was always doubt as to whether you were a willing accomplice or not, I just made it all lean your way. The higher ups didn’t want a messy media frenzy which I, your faithful lawyer would have created if they didn’t let you go”

“So that’s it?” Ian said. 

“Yep, unless you want to go back?” Westford said looking over his shoulder. 

“NO, no man. Thanks”

“We stick together right?” He said and lifted his glass. 

“Right.” Ian put his glass up and they toasted. Ian sipped around his smile and settled back into the lush upholstery. 

“So you didn’t go with him.” Westford asked quietly

Ian turned to him and wondered why he assumed he and Mickey were together and it was him who had backed out and then he remembered the picture. He knew. 

“No.” he shook his head and his eyes stung, talking about Mickey had gotten to him. 

“Can I ask why?” Westford asked quietly. 

Ian looked out the window as the world changed from high-rises to crappy buildings, his world.

He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn’t form the words. His eyes filled and he pushed them away.

“Shit’ he said. 

“Here” Westford said and poured him more. “As a friend is always telling me, love is a motherfucker.” He said with a quick grin.

Ian laughed, “Yeah, it is.”

Ian looked at his glass and tried to think what to say, it was odd to be talking about this with someone he didn’t know, but Ian felt like he could talk to him for some reason. 

“I fucked up” Ian finally said. “I would have gotten him arrested or killed and I couldn’t live with that.” He stared at the glass and rubbed his fingers over the sides.

“Wow” Westford said. “That’s a hellish choice to make.”

“It was and it wasn’t, if I had to choose I’d always choose him.” Ian said.

Westford nodded. 

They were on his street and Ian tossed back what was left in his glass.

“Thanks man really, I don’t know what to say.”

Westford pulled out a card as Ian got out and shifted over to hand it to him.

“Call me if you need anything and I mean it Ian anything and don’t talk to the cops again!” He gave him a stern look.

“Alright man.” Ian took the card. 

Westford smiled and closed the door and he watched the car speed away putting the card in his pocket. He was a little woozy but he made it up the steps into the house.

 

Westford took out his phone from his inside pocket and held it to his ear as soon as the car started to move. 

“It’s done.” He said. There was silence on the other end, but he knew he was there. He smiled and thought of Ian’s stone cold face in the interrogation room. 

“He was like a rock and bustin’ those cops’ balls, you should have seen it man.” He said, 

He heard a harsh laugh.

“He believe you?” He asked finally and Phillip could hear the tension in his voice.

“Yeah, I think so. The kids smart though and I can’t guarantee he won’t figure it out.”

“He might but it’ll be too late.”

“He uh, teared up.” Phillip said softly. 

He didn’t reply and Phillip sighed and said, “I didn’t think this was a good idea.”

“You just make sure he stays out of fucking jail!” he said vehemently. 

Phillip thought about David and what he would do and couldn’t bear the thought of it. 

“He’s a nice kid, a really nice kid.” He said. 

“Hey don’t get any fuckin’ ideas old man.’ He said.

Phillip laughed and said, “Nah man.”

“Hey” he heard.

“Ya?”’

“Thanks man”

Phillip heard the phone go dead before he could say anything. He had dialed the phone while l Ian was looking at his picture and he had slipped it back into his inside pocket before Ian had looked back at him. He thought about Ian and he had to admit he was impressed by Ian's stone cold attitude with the cops, the kid was South Side that was for sure. When he had talked about Mickey he had seen and felt the love Ian had for him and he knew what that kind of love was like. He felt the car stop and thought love was defiantly a motherfucker but he was going to go into the federal building and fuck over these motherfuckers. The idea put a little spring in his step as he opened the door he had just walked through with Ian less than an hour before. 

 

Mickey held the phone in his hand and closed his eyes, hearing Ian’s voice was harder than he thought. He heard him laugh and he had smiled but when he heard him talk about him his heart ached and he had pushed at his stinging eyes when he heard the tears in his voice. He knew why he didn’t go with him to Mexico but to hear Ian say it tore him up. Mickey rubbed his thumb over the phone and looked out over the water, he sat in a secluded area he had found within a couple weeks of being here and had immediately thought how much Ian would love it. He had smiled and sat against a rock like he was now and drank a Mexican beer and had a smoke thinking about Ian the whole time. 

He brought his knees up and crossed his arms over them still holding the phone in his hand. He knew Ian loved him but to hear it in his voice when he didn’t know he was listening was different.

“It was and it wasn’t, if I had to choose I’d always choose him.” He had said. 

‘And I’ll always choose him’ he thought. It didn’t matter if they were together or not he was always going to protect Ian. He stood up and walked into the water up to his ankles and his eyes squinted against the bright sunlight. Ian was home safe and that was all he cared about but he had needed to hear his voice again. He slid his hands in his pockets and thought about what Westford had said, ‘He was like a rock and bustin’ those cops balls man.’ Mickey let out a wicked laugh and thought ‘Ya, I woulda fucking loved to have seen that.”


	2. Chapter 2

Ian was walking toward home after a long crazy double shift. It had been 6 months since he had seen Mickey. He had adjusted for the most part and his life was back to normal. He thought about Trevor and smiled, they had become really good friends since he came back and Ian had even met his new boyfriend, he seems alright but Ian was going to keep an eye on him. He had taken Trevor up on his offer to talk, not a lot and not details but it felt good to have someone who understood him and just listened. 

He adjusted his backpack and turned onto the walkway, all he wanted was food and a bed. He closed the door behind him and started for the kitchen throwing his bag on the couch as he walked past and headed for the fridge. He opened the refrigerator door and looked for something he could just grab and eat cold. He grabbed a beer and a plate that was covered in tin foil. ‘Mine now.’ He thought with a grin. He set the plate on the counter and opened the beer kicking the door closed. He took a long drink and picked up the plate and turned toward the table.

He saw Lip standing at the bottom of the stairs, he hadn’t heard him come down. He had his hands in his back pockets and he was shifting his leg back and forth.

“Hey.” He said with a smile. “What are you doing here?” he asked taking another hit from the beer. 

Ian put the plate and beer on the counter and took the tin foil off the plate. It looked like pork chops, ‘Good enough’ he thought. 

“Ian.” He head Lip say.

“Ya.” he said and glanced up, Lips arms were crossed over his arms and he held his upper arms in his hands.

Ian saw his face, he looked calm but his eyes were dark and unhappy.

“What’s up man?” He asked and took a swig of beer.

“Ah listen...” Lip fidgeted.

“Shit, who died?” he asked with a smile. 

Lip’s eyes came to his and he didn’t smile. Ian stopped his hand that was moving the beer up to his mouth, 

“Frank?” he asked. Lip shook his head and rubbed a hand over his face.

Lip shoved his hand through his hair and pushed it into the back of his head and grimaced. His hands came down to his sides and he took a deep breathe.

“Lip!” he said in alarm. 

“Listen man, Mandy came by earlier…” Ian felt his body tense. 

“Mandy?” He interrupted “Is she OK?” 

“Yeah man, she’s fine.” He looked away, “She’s ok.” He licked his lips and grimaced again. 

“Then wha….” He trailed off and his heart pounded in his chest and a shooting pain went through him and he quickly shook his head. 

“Ian.” He said quietly and stepped toward him.

Ian shook his head harder and slammed the beer down on the counter.

“No.” he said and waved his arms out across his chest pushing it away. He stepped back as Lip came toward him. 

Lip reached out his hand to grab his arm and Ian pushed it away, his shook his head again.

“Ian, listen to me..” He said in a quiet voice and reached his hand out again and to Ian everything slowed down and his vision was hazy, he could hear Lip and could his face but he felt like he was looking at him underwater.

Lip held him up as Ian swayed.

“I’m sorry man.” Ian heard the sympathy in his voice through the blur of his mind and pushed at it. He brought his arm up and pushed his hand away and shoved past him.

He moved fast through the living room still shaking his head, he ripped the door open and it slammed against the wall.

“Fuck.” He heard behind him.

At the bottom of the stairs he pushed past Fiona.

“Hey!” she said sharply. “What the hell?” 

He walked as fast as he could away from them but he still heard it when Lip said in a low voice,

“Mickey’s dead.”

 

He walked fast his hands clenching at his sides, he’d shake his head and unclench them but the words came back. Mickey’s dead. ‘NO HE’S NOT’ his heart screamed. ‘It’s not possible.’ Ian thought but his eyes filled and he picked up speed and started running. The words repeated over and over through him and his chest pounded and his whole body shook. He ran harder and sucked in air, Lip’s face came to him and he pushed it away. He ran and his mind brought up images of Mickey, Mickey smiling at him with his hoodie on, Mickey laughing at him in the car holding a cigarette, Mickey’s heart in his eyes in the shower. A strangled cry came from his throat and he shook his head and pushed his body harder. 

One word raged through his mind over and over ‘NO!’ 

He was running full out when he turned around the fence and almost went down, he caught himself and took three stumbling steps forward and went down on his hands and knees, his whole body shaking. His eyes were blurred with pain and tears and his chest wracked with fits and starts, he let his body fall back onto his knees and his face twisted with the pain.

He swayed and his body fell over onto his side and the momentum pushed him onto his back onto the ground. ‘It’s not true’ Ian thought and tried to breathe. ‘It’s not.’ He shook his head and grimaced. It couldn’t be true and that was it, Lip was wrong. 

He panted and looked up at the sky not seeing it. He held his hands out onto the ground below him trying to hold on to something real. He felt the grass and the hard earth and dug his fingers in and felt the cold dirt, it was real. He closed his eyes and saw Mickey’s face here. 

“We haven’t been here since that time we banged.” He said and squeezed his arm.

“You look like a wet rat.” Ian felt Mickey’s hand on his hair and felt Mickey’s lip close over his lightly and his tongue sliding through his lips. 

His body shook with the pain the memories brought, his eyes rolled opened and they blurred with tears, he sobbed and gave into it, he clenched his fists arching his head back and let out a long strangled scream. 

Ian didn’t move for a long time, the waves of pain washed through him until he forced himself to settle. He took long slow breaths and calmed himself. ‘I have to know.’ was the first coherent thought he had, he had to know if it was true, he had to see him with his own eyes. Ian sat up and his body hurt all over and the physical pain was a comfort, it pushed away the emotional pain. He stood up still shaky but determined, he would find out even if he had to go to fucking Mexico. He turned his head to the dugout and remembered the fireworks and Mickey taking his hand, he could almost see them standing against the railing. 

“I’m going to fucking find you” he said out loud. “No matter what I have to do.” He promised. 

He turned toward the gap in the fence and on firmer legs and started walking toward home. 

 

He pushed through the door and headed up the stairs, he heard the kitchen chairs scraping on the linoleum and he turned the corner on the stairs. He walked into the room he was currently using and took off his uniform off jacket and threw it on the bed. He heard Lip,

“Hey.” 

He ignored him and unbuttoned his uniform shirt and stripped it off, he shoved the tee-shirt over his head and threw it. He opened a drawer and pulled out the first shirt he came to and grabbed jeans in the lower drawer. He changed and Lip still stood there leaning against the doorjamb arms over his chest. 

“Where you goin?’” Lip asked.

Ian slid on his belt and buckled it as he said,

“There’s a Federal building downtown.”

“And you’re going there?!”

Ian shoved his feet into his boots and didn’t look up.

“Come on man.” Lip said.

Ian shoved past him and headed down the kitchen stairs, Fiona was standing behind the stove. He walked through the kitchen and grabbed his bag on the couch, rummaging through it for his wallet and phone. 

“I need your car.” He said shoving his wallet and phone into his pockets.

“Ian..” Fiona started but Lip cut her off.

“I’ll take him.” He walked back in the kitchen and lifted his jacket off of the chair.

Ian didn’t wait for Lip, he grabbed his jacket off the peg and shrugged it on as he opened the front door.

Lip caught up to him as he hit the bottom step, the keys jangling in his hand. Ian started around the back of the car when he turned his head and stopped, he saw a big black SUV pulling up being Fiona’s car. 

“FUCKING FUCK” Lip hissed and rushed toward Ian.

Ian curled his lip up when he saw Big Cop get out and slam the door behind him. He started toward him and he pushed forward. Lip caught him around the waist and pushed him back bracing his legs to hold Ian and the cop stopped. 

“Where is he fucker?” He yelled and tried to push Lip away.

“Ian stop, fuck” he said as Ian growled and shoved him.

“He’s a fucking Fed man “Lip said firmly. Ian pushed his hands away and stepped back pulling his jacket out of Lips hand. He stalked back and forth his eyes on the Fed with his fists clenched. Lip stepped back and forth in front of him blocking him.

“Get in” Big Cop said.

“He’s not fucking going anywhere with you.” Lip rounded on him.

Big Cop put his hands out by his sides and said to Ian,

“You want to know?”

Ian glared at him and started for the car.

Lip stopped him, “I’m coming with him” he said.

“No, you’re not” Big Cop said.

Lip faced off with him toe to toe.

“Try and stop me you big piece of shit.”

Big Cop put his hands on his hips and faced off with him.

“Back off, he’s not in trouble.” Lip didn’t move. “He’s listed as his next of kin.” He said in a low voice.

Ian was standing by the SUV door, he heard the words “Next of kin.” and his heart cracked in his chest. 

Lip glared up at him but stepped back.

Big Cop came to the door and opened it, he gestured with his hand and Ian stepped up into the truck.

 

They drove in silence but Ian glared at the back of his head. He saw him glance at him in the rear view mirror. 

“The fuck you looking at cop?” He said in a low deadly tone.

He shook his head in the front seat.

“Where’s your douche bag partner?” he asked.

“Reassigned.”

Ian nodded his chin forward and twisted his mouth.

“No scum bag faggot to catch now huh?” he said in a low voice and turned his head away.

“Shoulda brought backup” he said from the front.

Ian nodded and looked at him in the rear view mirror, his eyes narrowed and he said,

“Was it you?”

Big Cop was quiet and he watched the road.

“A nice fucking trophy!” his voice raised as he spoke and he brought his fists up.

“I’ll put cuffs on you if I have to.” He said in a firm tone.

He stuck him chin out at him.

“Go ahead bitch.” He sat back and snarled at him. 

“Jesus, kid.” He breathed out. “Calm down.”

Ian didn’t calm down, he was ready to hurt someone and he really didn’t care who it was.

He crossed his arms over his chest watching Big Cop’s face and it was unreadable even when he glanced up at Ian.

The truck slowed down and turned. Ian didn’t look away from his face. The truck stopped and Big Cop put the truck in Park and got out, Ian watched him as he slammed his door closed and opened the one next to him. He stepped back behind the door and kept his eyes on Ian. 

‘Yeah, you better’ Ian thought.

He slammed the door and turned around walking away, Ian followed him. Big Cop came to a solid metal door and punched in a key code, the door buzzed and he pulled on it. He held the door open for Ian and Ian walked through it. Ian watched him and had a vague understanding this was not the building he had been in before, but he was focused on Big Cop and didn’t look around at all. Big Cop stopped short at a door and pounded on it. Big Cop stood squarely in front of the door and there was a pause, Ian heard chains and locks clicking. The door opened and a different Fed stood at the open door with a hand on his gun. He was muscular and had a buzz cut. ‘Military’, Ian thought immediately. 

He stepped back to let them in, as soon as the door closed he said in a low voice, 

“He’s not supposed to be here.” 

How the fuck did Army Cop know who ’he’ was? Ian thought eyes narrowing and took his hands from his pockets and braced his legs. 

Big Cop put his hands out and said, 

“It couldn’t wait.” He looked at Ian and said “Stay here, there’s beer in the fridge.” And walked away and Ian thought,

‘Beer? Fridge?’ and realized he was standing in a kitchen. There was a door to his right that Big Cop went through and he heard what sounded like a television. He looked at Army Cop and hissed,

“So off the books huh?” 

He didn’t answer only licked his bottom lip and stood at ease with his legs braced. 

Ian scoffed and stepped back.

Army looked him over and his eyes didn’t give anything away.

“Well at least you’re not a total shithead like the other one.” He said with a cold laugh. 

Army relaxed and leaned against the counter but Ian kept his eyes on him. 

He heard voices over the TV in a low murmur and then a firmer voice. Army looked toward the voices and rubbed a hand over his mouth. Ian couldn’t make out the words but he heard the tone of Big’s voice, it was low and somber. 

He moved toward the voices, he looked toward Army but he didn’t make a move to try and stop him. He heard Big and the closer he got the more he heard. 

“I don’t know.” Big said in a low quiet voice. 

Ian thought he was on the phone but realized as he came around the corner that Big didn’t have a phone in his hand. Big was standing with his hands on his hips, he was blocking whoever he was talking to. 

“Where is he?” he heard a low desperate voice say and Ian’s head snapped back.

“Mi…” he shuddered out in a whisper. Everything slowed down and his heat beat faster in his chest. 

Big must have heard him because he turned his head and looked at him. He took one step back and waved an arm at Ian. 

He was there standing in front of a couch fists at his side glaring at Big Cop, his eyes locked with Ian’s and his eyes changed in a heartbeat. Ian blinked, he was still there. He closed his eyes and tried to take in air. He opened them and he was still there coming toward him, he wasn’t hallucinating. He felt searing pain slice through his heart that felt like a blade, he stepped back and clutched at his chest, his eyes blurred and he felt hot tears push though his closed eyes. 

He felt arms come around him and pull him in and they held him up until he could bring his arms up around him, he moved his hands over his back and felt that it was really him. He took in a breath and his arms closed tighter around him. He felt his hand move over his hair and felt his other hand stroke up and down his back. 

Ian turned his head into his neck and shook.

He pulled his face away and opened his eyes, Mickey’s blue eyes were staring back at him and Ian put his hand on his face, his breath hitching in his chest. Mickey held his head in his hand and said,

“Hey.” Ian saw his smile and his heart healed. 

Ian smiled through his tears and he blinked them away to see him. His eyes were clear and he was looking over his face. Mickey dropped his hand down and Ian brought his up and wrapped his fingers though Mickey’s and held on tight.

Ian felt the flood of tears in his eyes, he bit his lip and put his head down.

“Hey.” Mickey said in a low voice as he stroked his fingers over his wet face. 

Ian shook his head. 

“Ian.” Ian didn’t lift his head but brought his hand up over Mickey’s wrist. 

“I’m right here.” He said and kissed his head. “Ian, look at me.”

Ian held onto his wrist and lifted his head. 

Mickey’s eyes were soft and he slid his fingers over his face wiping the tears away and looked into Ian’s eyes and smiled at him. 

“You’re killing me with the waterworks.” He said turning his hand and pushing the tears away with his knuckles. Ian sniffed and realized he could breathe easily now, he felt like he’d been holding his breath all day. 

Ian smiled and just looked him, he was still wiping at his face with his hands. He stopped it from brushing away his tears and brought it to his lips. 

“Jesus.” He whispered and Ian saw his eyes tearing up. Mickey slid his fingers over his bottom lids, pushing the tears away. 

“Fuck.” He hissed and took a half step back, their hands still together.

“I thought...” Ian started but he stopped himself, he couldn’t say it.

Mickey nodded and held his hand tighter and said,

“Ya, he told me, they’re all fucking idiots.” It was so nice to hear Mickey bitch again Ian couldn’t help but smile. 

“It was a mistake in the time table” Big said rubbing a hand over his brow, Ian had totally forgotten about him.

Ian watched Mickey’s eyebrows go up and he turned to Big.

“You call this…. “He gestured to Ian. “a mistake in the fucking time table?” 

“It was unavoidable” He held on to Ian’s hand and gave Big a sarcastic turn of his head, 

“Oh ya? Well maybe it’s unavoidable for me to knock your teeth down your fuckin’ throat.” He tilted his head and smiled a cold deadly smile. 

Big looked at Ian and said,

“I’m sorry Ian, it was a screw up and there’s no way around it, you were going to meet with Mickey tomorrow, but it went out on the wire and his sister was notified today.”

Ian’s brain was starting to work and he looked at Mickey,

“Ya, you’re fucking sorry, alright go” He said and waved a hand at him. Big Cop shook his head and walked into the kitchen. 

Mickey turned back to Ian. “He has one fucking job man, useless.”

“Mickey.” Ian said.

“Ya?” 

“What the fuck is going on?” He asked. 

 

Mickey looked at Ian and saw his eyes drawn together and he was staring at him with a hard look. 

“Time to lay it all out”, Mickey thought. This was gonna suck. 

“Come on”, he said and started to walk toward the couch bringing Ian with him. Ian kept his hand in his as they walked around the coffee table to the couch. Mickey squeezed Ian’s hand after he sat and slid his hand out, Mickey picked up the remote and hit the off button and the room went quiet. He sidestepped and grabbed the beer he had been drinking when fuckhead had come in and told him Ian thought he was dead, he handed it over to Ian and he pounded what was left in it. 

He looked down at him, he was pale as a ghost and he was still shaking a little and Mickey felt his blood boil. He could rip out someone’s throat for this and still would if he ever found out who fucked shit up. He lifted his hand over Ian’s hair and his eyes opened, he took the empty beer can from his hand and put it on the table. Mickey dropped his hand and Ian sat back against the cushions, he looked exhausted. 

“You look beat man, this can wait.” He said

“No.” Ian said sharply.

Mickey nodded and walked toward the kitchen, Frick and fucking Frack were talking in low tones and they both looked at him when he came in.

“Ya, ya, ya…fucking whatever.” He pulled open the fridge and took out what was left of the 6 pack and slammed the door shut. 

“Milkovich.” Frack said when he turned his back. Mickey paused and licked over his lips but didn’t turn around. 

“You know you can’t tell him anything.” Mickey smirked and turned around, his finger came up to his lip.

“I’m sorry, what?” He said his lips stretching back. He stepped up and smiled. “I thought you just spoke but I must be fucking mistaken, right?” He lifted his brows and bit his lip.

“Alright, enough. God you’re as bad as Gallagher.” Frick said. 

Mickey let out a laugh and turned away, he had never heard himself compared to Ian that way, 

As bad as Gallagher.

Guess Frick got a full dose of pissed off Ian and it made him smile wider. He walked to the couch and Ian’s eyes were closed, he slowed and thought maybe he had fallen asleep. He quietly sat down next to him and took a beer from the rings, Ian’s eyes opened and he turned his head. Mickey handed him a beer and Ian opened it immediately and chugged half of it. He pulled one of for himself and set the rest of the six pack down on the table.

Mickey settled back into the corner of the couch and brought his knee up, Ian’s hand came down and settled it over his knee and he moved closer to him until their legs were touching. Ian grabbed up a cigarette and lit it, he handed it to Mickey and lit one for himself.

Mickey looked over Ian's face, he was drawn and pale but it was the best thing he had ever seen in his life. He drank and tried to work his mind around the best way to approach this. Ian was going to be pissed there was no way around that. 

Ian brought his eyes to his, he was waiting for him to answer. 

Mickey took a drag of his cigarette and turned it in his hand to look at the head. He didn’t know where to start.

“Why are there Feds in the kitchen?” Ian asked and Mickey guessed that was a good a place to start than any. 

“They’re my guard dogs” He said. 

“Guard dogs? You’re not in custody?”

Mickey brought the cigarette up and shook his head. “Nope.” 

He watched Ian’s eyes change from concerned to pissed.

“Before Mexico?” Ian shot out.

“No” Mickey said. Ian shook his head and his face screwed up, he looked at Mickey and he watched as his face fall as it started to sink in.

He gave him a searing look shoving the cigarette in the ashtray and shoved himself up. Mickey watched him stomp around the table and pace around. He took his jacket off and threw it on a chair in the corner and his hands rubbed down his face over his mouth. 

He crossed his arms and sucked his lips into his teeth shaking his head.

‘Oh fuck.’ Mickey thought. He moved up to the edge of the couch and drank half a beer in one gulp. Ian came to the table and picked his up, he drank and Mickey heard a scoff when it came away from his mouth.

“You motherfucker.” Ian said shaking his head. 

Mickey’s head came up and his eyes narrowed, 

“Westford”, he said looking at his beer with his mouth open in a sarcastic smile. Mickey watched him as he walked around. 

“Westford is how you used the money.” he said with a nod. “Yeah.” He said out loud but not to Mickey, he was talking to himself. 

He grimaced and swung around, 

“He didn’t get me off, you did.” He said very slowly. “You turned yourself in, you have something they want.”

Mickey didn’t answer him. 

Ian nodded. “Yeah, makes sense.” He said to himself again. 

He tilted his head and looked at the beer can and he swung his arm and threw the can, it hit and sprayed beer over the wall and bounced hard onto the floor. Mickey didn’t flinch when the can hit, he rested his elbows on his knees and slid his tongue over his teeth. 

“It was your money.” He said in a low voice and hissed in smoke.

Ian turned around and the look in his eye had him sitting up straight.

“My money.” He tilted his head. “Mine?” He nodded and twisted his mouth. “OK” he shrugged “If it’s mine, where is it?” he said and glared at Mickey. 

Mickey mouth twisted up and he bit his bottom lip. 

“Huh?” Ian said. “You son of a bitch, where the fuck is it?” His voice raised, he stepped up closer to the table. 

Mickey knew he was pissed but he was pushing it. Mickey carefully rolled the cigarette in his hand and took a drag glaring right back at Ian. 

“You want your money.” He said and let the smoke blow out.

“Ya, I want MY money” he said 

Mickey’s lips turned up at the corners and he swayed his legs back and forth, he looked down at the floor and nodded as he crushed out the cigarette. ‘Alright’ he thought and his head came up. He slid his hands up his legs as he stood up. 

“You want your money bitch?” he said moving around the table fast, Ian turned toward him. 

They stood face to face with their fists clenched, their eyes glaring into each other.

“Fuck you and your money.” Mickey hissed.

“You did this.” Ian said. His teeth were clenched and his breathing was heavy.

“Yeah, I did.” Mickey said with a twist of his mouth and crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrows at Ian. 

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Ian said and shoved Mickey back a step. Mickey stepped back up into his face.

“The fuck did you say?” He growled out. 

“You heard me! You’re not stupid and deaf.” He said rounding on him. 

Mickey put a hand on his chest and shoved him back and saw Ian’s arm come up, he swung at the same time and smashed into Ian’s face and Ian’s fist hit the side of his head. He took the hit and he pushed, Ian held onto him and they went down onto the table, it smashed under them, Mickey was over Ian holding him down swinging at him.

“The fuck you say to me.” He said growling.

Ian took a hit before he blocked him and flipped him on his back and came up over him sitting up and his arm went back. Mickey saw hands on Ian’s arms, he pushed up and shoved at the closest body while Ian swung at the other.

“Jesus.” He heard. Frick was against the wall where Mickey pushed him and Frack was holding his nose. 

He felt Ian slam into him in a running tackle and they went down hard on the floor. Ian was punching him and hissing out, 

“Fuck you, fuckin’ motherfucker!”

Mickey flipped his arms through his and took a hard hit, he spread out his arm and gripped his arm and shifted his weight over him, overpowering him in one motion, holding his arms down he straddled him. 

They glared at each other and panted.

Mickey’s teeth were clenched and he felt Ian try to push him off, he slammed his arms back down and leaned over him. 

Ian’s face was bloody and his nose was gushing blood, he felt his eyes sting and his head pounded. 

“I did it for you, you prick.” He said and Ian tried to shove him back.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Ian panted and sneered. 

“Fuck you, you’re going to listen to me.” Mickey said low and braced on his arms.

Ian looked up at him with glaring bloodshot eyes,

“Did you think I was going to let you do time Ian? He gave him a shake. “Did you?” Ian’s eyes went into slits.

“So you did THIS?!” He hissed through clenched teeth. “FEDS!?” He yelled pushing his head up off the floor. 

Mickey held him and waited until Ian settled his head back and his breath slowed. 

“Ian.” He took a deep breathe. “I’d do anything….” he trailed off and Ian looked away.

“No, look at me.” Ian brought his eyes to his.

“You needed a fucking lawyer if you got picked up by the cops and yeah, that’s how I used the money.”

Ian’s eyes flashed. 

“They were going to find me Ian, and the only way to get out was to deal.”

“I’m the deal.” Ian said. 

“Not just you.” He shoved up and Ian didn’t try to punch him. 

“You’re not going back? Ian asked.

Mickey shook his head and slowly stood up.

“Ahh fuck” he said. He limped away and ran a hand under his nose and it came up covered with blood. 

Ian sat up and put his hand to his head. Mickey kicked through the broken table and found the beer in the rubble. He opened one and he sucked it down, Ian collapsed sitting on the couch and Mickey took his mouth away and handed him the beer, Ian drank the rest as Mickey fell down onto the couch next to him. Ian wiped at his face with his shirt and held the empty beer can, Mickey took it and threw it in on the broken table. He snapped off the ring holding the last two beers and handed one to Ian. 

Mickey touched his ear and it stung, Ian got him good. He sat forward at the edge of the couch and looked down at the broken table opening the beer but didn’t drink it. 

“This isn’t how this was supposed to go.” He said quietly. “They were supposed to come get you and on the way tell you what was going on.” He pushed at his face and closed his eyes tight. 

“Tell me you were alive.” Ian said

“Yeah, and other stuff.”

“I wasn’t going to see you?” Ian asked quietly.

“That would have been up to you.” He said and tipped the beer up to his lips. 

He felt Ian’s hand on his back, it moved over him and he closed his eyes. He felt Ian sit up next to him and he wrapped his hand around Ian's leg. 

“I’m sorry.” He said and rubbed the inside of his leg, Ian moved his hand up to Mickey’s head pulling it down to his mouth, he kissed his head and rested his mouth against it as Mickey moved into him and Ian’s arm came up over his lap and held his hand. 

Mickey heard a noise and opened his eyes he saw Frick was standing at the doorway with his hands on his hips.

“The fuck you want?” He said glaring his hand still in Ian’s.

“We need to talk.” 

“Alright” Ian said and started to sit back but Mickey wasn’t moving, Ian tightened his fingers on his and he sat back. 

Mickey drank his beer and gave the Fed a long hard look, Ian let go of his hand and he folded his arms over his chest. 

“Again Ian I apologize, this was not supposed to happen. You were supposed to be picked up before it went out on the wire that Mickey was dead.” Mickey felt Ian tense just hearing the words Mickey and dead in the same sentence, he brought his arm down to Ian’s lap and moved it over to Ian's hand and his fingers closed tightly over his.

“But it did go out, so as far as the rest of the world is concerned he is dead. I don’t know how much of a chance you’ve had to talk with all the beating each other bloody you've been doing.” 

Mickey smiled and hissed when he felt his lip sting, he stuck his tongue to his lip and brought his finger up. 

“Ow, fuck” he said and he gave Ian a dirty look and he just smiled, Mickey smiled back and felt the sting again. 

“Shit’ he said and Ian laughed.

 

“Jesus.” Sutter said. “Hello?” He shook his head at them. It was the first time he had seen either of them genuinely smile and it was just about the sweetest, craziest thing he had ever seen. 

Sutter looked down at the table and looked at them, less than three minutes ago they were trying to kill each other and he had walked in to see Mickey curling into Ian, and Ian was resting his bloody mouth on Mickey’s head. 

Ian looked over but Mickey was poking at his lip with his tongue with an amused look on his face. He swung the beer up chugging the last of it and tossed it onto the broken table. 

Sutter wiped his hand over his face and thought seriously about retirement. 

“So Ian, I need you to understand how important this is, the only reason you’re here is because he wouldn’t deal unless you knew he wasn’t dead when the time came.”

Sutter saw Ian’s fingers tighten around Mickey’s hand. 

“These people who need to believe he’s dead are extremely dangerous and they won’t just kill him they’ll kill his whole family and anyone he’s ever met.” 

‘At least you’re not being dramatic or anything.” Mickey scoffed.

“I understand” Ian said. 

Sutter looked at him like he didn’t believe him and started to speak but Ian cut him off.

“I do understand.” Ian said firmly.

Frick sat back in the chair and shifted his eyes back and forth between them. Seeing them together everything made complete sense, they made sense. He didn’t understand when he had interrogated Ian what his hold was and now he saw it, they were crazy in love with each other and he was curious as to why Ian didn’t go with him but thought better about asking. 

“You look like you’re about to fall over” he said to Ian. 

Ian rolled his eyes closed and rubbed a hand over them.

“Double shift.” he said. 

“That’s enough.” Mickey said, “we can talk more in the morning’

Mickey barely glanced at him but he turned to Ian and said, “Come on.” with a sweet smile and wrapped his hand tighter around Ian’s. Ian’s eyes opened and he looked at Mickey with love pouring out of his eyes. Ian shifted forward and Mickey helped him up. 

They stepped around the broken table and Ian gave him a lazy smile as he walked past. He heard the door close and sat thinking about what he seen that day. Ian being a raging asshole to him but then seeing the way he had fallen into himself when he saw Mickey. Mickey, fucking Mickey who he had thought was the nastiest human being had gone to him and gently held him until Ian had opened his eyes and then Mickey had wiped his tears away. 

When he heard the raised voiced he had come in and seen Ian over Mickey pounding on him, and the instinct to protect kicked in and he pulled Ian away, Mickey had been on him in a second. He had expected to see them killing each other when he came back in and instead he saw them sitting together on the couch and Mickey completely unguarded until he saw him. When they sat together Mickey had reached out his hand to Ian’s and he had seen Ian’s move at almost exactly the same time. The way Ian had just looked at him, like he was the sun and he had been inside for a long, long time, that shit was real and very, very rare. He stood up and went to the kitchen, the kid was there and he called out “I’ll be back” and walked through the door. He waited until he got outside to take out his phone. He made the call as he climbed into the SUV and smiled when he heard her voice.

“Well hello there!” she said all surprised. He smiled.

“Hello my beautiful, how are you?” He said.

 

Mickey brought Ian into the bedroom and closed the door, he lead him through the pitch dark into the bathroom and flipped on the light. He tugged Ian’s shirt up and Ian raised his arms and Mickey lifted it over his head. Ian slid off his boots and stripped off his jeans while he turned on the shower. Ian stepped in and Mickey got undressed and stepped in behind him, Ian was swaying and rubbing his hands over his face. Mickey turned him around to him and wrapped his hands around his waist and he saw the blood was gone from Ian’s face. He dropped his hands and picked up Ian’s, not too bad he thought and wrapped his fingers through his. They turned and Mickey let the water wash the blood away, Ian was looking down at him and he smiled at him through his fingers as he pushed the water away. 

He saw that Ian was barely standing up straight he was so tired, he pulled on his hand and stepped out bringing Ian with him. Ian grabbed a towel and dried his face while Mickey grabbed another towel and started drying Ian’s hair and moved the towel down his back, he dried them both off and Ian’s eyes were barely staying open. He started moving them to the bedroom, he took Ian’s hand and got into the bed pulling Ian with him and pulled the covers up as he got in and fixed them over Ian as he rolled toward him. His face was shadowed, the only light in the room coming from the bathroom. He watched him try to keep his eyes open and on him and he waited until they stayed closed. He gently rubbed his thumb over his skin until Ian’s breathing was steady in sleep and closed his eyes letting himself drift into sleep beside him. 

 

Ian came awake with a start and he saw Mickey’s face, he had been dreaming about a funeral with a long line of caskets and Mickey was in every one. He knew even in the dream it wasn’t real and forced himself to wake up. He looked at Mickey in the dim light, he was here with him. Ian let himself breathe and felt the last of the dream float away. He moved his hand up to his on the bed and gently closed over it, he felt his skin under his hand and his heart swelled. He lifted his hand up and slid it over his neck and moved his thumb over his jaw, he tilted his head and brought his lips to his, he kissed him gently and slid his thumb over his face, the motion opened Mickeys mouth and his slipped his tongue between his lips to open them. He felt his mouth move against his and he opened his lips wider and felt Mickeys tongue come to his. Ian felt his heart spill out into his chest as Mickeys hand came to his waist and slid up his side, Ian deepened the kiss and Mickeys head came off the pillow and he tilted his head and pulled him into him. Ian shifted over him and the feel of Mickey under him made him hard as a rock. Mickey’s head was off the pillow pushing into his mouth, his grip was tight around his neck and waist pulling at him. 

Ian opened his eyes enough to see Mickey’s eyes looking into his and heat rushed through him and pulled Mickeys arm between them and Mickey shifted under him onto his stomach. He sank his mouth over the back of Mickey’s neck and he arched into his mouth as he braced on his lower arms. Ian felt the skin over his back and his mouth moved over his shoulder and the need to be as close to him as he could overwhelmed him. He felt his hips lift up and he braced behind him and guided himself into him slowly. The air rushed out of him and he found Mickey’s hand and sank his teeth and mouth over his shoulder thrusting his hips and moved his hand over Mickey’s chest. Every part of him felt Mickey, every part of his skin that touched Mickey's burned with a soft heat. He heard Mickey’s panting breathe and moved harder, his only need was to make Mickey feel how much he wanted and needed him.

He felt Mickey tense and heard him hiss out a long breath as he came shaking against him. Mickey swayed under him and Ian felt his eyes sting, he moved his mouth over him kissing his shoulder and neck. Ian lifted his hips and shifted his body weight over him and felt Mickey brace against him, his eyes filled as he felt the pleasure rock through him and he came with his teeth clenched teeth against Mickey’s neck. He rested his chin on Mickey’s shoulder and panted, Mickey lowered them down to the bed and his fingers closed through his, bringing them together. 

He opened his eyes and Mickey’s face was in front of him, he felt his heart give a hard beat against his ribs. He lowered his face and kissed his jaw, Mickeys lips turned up. Ian kissed the edge of his smile and lifted his head. Mickey’s eyes were closed and he had a lazy half smile on his face. Ian brought his hand up and moved it over his head through his hair and Mickey smiled wider. Ian squeezed his hand and pulled them over together onto their sides. He pulled Mickey into him and tightly wrapped his arm around him until their whole bodies were lined up touching. He rested his forehead on the back of Mickey’s head and breathed him in. 

He felt Mickey relax but he couldn’t, he kept his arm tense around him and moved his lips to his shoulder and kissed it, he turned into his neck and landed more kisses, he shifted up kissing his ear and Mickey giggled. He kissed his jaw as Mickey shifted back and turned his head toward him. He kissed his smiling lips and Mickey closed them to kiss him back, Mickey laughed against his lips. Ian lifted his head and looked down at him, his eyes opened and his eyes were bright and sparkling into his and his face spread into a huge grin. He thought he’s never see this smile again, see those eyes looking into his again with love for him, he thought he’d never feel this again and had to say the words he thought he’d never be able to say to him again, 

“I love you” 

Mickey’s eyes softened and he shifted under him onto his back and brought his hand up to his face and held it. Ian closed his hand over his on his face and turned his face and kissed the palm of his hand. 

”I love you.” He said against his hand. 

His hand still on his and lowered his mouth to his, he kissed him gently and Mickey let out a long breath he moved his hand to his face and tilted it toward him. He kissed him slowly and Mickey’s lips moved under his, he felt Mickey’s hand moved over his neck and into his hair. Ian opened his eyes and gently lifted his mouth from his. Mickey’s breath was slow and his eyes stayed closed. Ian lowered his head to the bed keeping his hand on Mickey’s face, it turned in his hand and Mickey turned his face toward him. Ian rested his hand on his chest and Mickey’s hand came up and closed over it. Ian looked down at his fingers, the tattoos were faded and it wasn’t just the dim light, he had noticed they were barely visible but was busy being bullshit at the time and didn’t ask. 

He lifted his hand to bring his into the light. He could barely see the letters that were tattooed across his fingers. His eyes went to his chest and he couldn’t see anything, he lifted his head and tried to look closer, and either it wasn’t there or it was too dark to see it. 

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” He heard.

He lowered himself back to the bed and brought Mickeys hand up in front of him and tried to look closer.

“Mmph” Mickey mumbled and nodded.

Ian moved his hand around in the light and still couldn’t see them very well. He looked at Mickey, his eyes were still closed. He sat up and swung his leg over and braced his arms around his chest, looking down to where the tattoo should be, but even in the light he couldn’t see it.

“It’s still there.” Mickey said.

Ian lowered his head and strained his eyes and could barely make out the script in his skin. 

“No identifying tattoos.” Mickey said lazily moving his hand over Ian. 

“Even that one?” he said, sitting back.

“Ya.”

“Hm.” He said, and rolled off of him back down to the bed. He bent his elbow and braced his head on it, still looking down at his chest. He lifted his hand and set it over his heart and stroked his thumb over what was left of the tattoo.

 

Mickey scrubbed a hand over his face and turned his head to look at the clock. 9:16, he tried to think if that was AM or PM, ‘AM probably’ he thought. There were no windows in the apartment and it was hard to tell if it was day or night. Ian had been so tired it didn’t surprise him they had slept so long. He had woken up sometime earlier and gotten up carefully. He had dressed and gone to the living room. Frack was on the couch watching TV, he had ignored him and grabbed the cigarettes and ashtray and turned back toward the bedroom. He had sat on the bed and lit a smoke watching Ian. He had thought about seeing him almost fall over when he saw him. He had thought about the fight, damn still Ian had a wicked right hook, but mostly he just watched Ian as he slept.

He reached out and grabbed the pack on the nightstand and dropped them on the bed and reached up for the lighter. Sitting up he brought one up to his lips and lit it, shifting back to the headboard. He rubbed at his face with both hands and took a long deep drag. 

“Think there’s coffee out there?” Ian asked.

“Yeah, usually Frick or Frack makes some.” He inhaled and handed it over to Ian. 

“Frick or Frack?” Ian said taking a drag. 

“Or Mo and Shmow, whatever.”

Ian smiled and said, “I call them Big Cop and Army Cop.”

Mickey smiled and took the smoke from Ian when he held it up.

“Big Cop’s alright, for a Fed.” Ian said. 

“Mm” Mickey grunted. He dropped his head back to the headboard. He knew they had to talk, the tattoos were only a small detail compared to what was happening and what was going to happen.

 

Ian rolled on his back and shoved up and sat on the edge of the bed rubbing his face. ‘Coffee’ he thought and walked into the bathroom to find his jeans, there were bloody clothes strewn everywhere. He turned the tap and brought the water up to his face, he blinked his eyes open found a towel and wiped the water away. He picked up a pair of jeans trying to figure out if they were his or Mickey’s. ‘Mine’ he realized and slid them on, he zipped up walking back into the room.

“There’s shirts in there.” He waved at the dresser. “Top drawer.”

Ian opened it and grabbed a tee-shirt and dropped it over his head laughing.

“Think Army will jump me?” He asked bringing his arms through the holes. 

“Maybe, it’s all legal now.” He said with a grin.

Ian laughed and opened the door, the broken table was gone and the room was clean.

He turned into the kitchen and saw Big Cop at the stove and something smelled really good.

Big turned to him and said, “Morning” as he stirred a spatula over eggs.

“Ahh, morning.” He said and looked around, yesterday was a bit of a blur and he didn’t remember the kitchen at all.

Big cop turned his body and motioned toward the counter. ”There.” He said.

Ian nodded at him and moved toward the coffee maker. There were cups on the counter he turned two up and poured the coffee in. Big Cop started whistling and Ian’s head came up, ‘He’s happy.” He thought and put the pot back in the coffeemaker. He grabbed the handles and turned around, Big was pushing bacon around on a skillet.

“Smells good.” He said. Big half turned and smiled at him over his shoulder.

“Hungry?” he asked and Ian realized he was starving, he hadn’t eaten yesterday.

“Ya, let me.” And lifted the coffee cups.

Big murmured. “Mmhm.” and started whistling again. 

Ian walked into the living room shaking his head, ‘Weird. ‘He thought and brought the coffee in the bedroom. Mickey was in the same spot, he handed him a mug and sat in front of him, bringing one leg onto the bed.

“Do I smell bacon?” He asked as he brought the mug up.

“Yeah.” Ian said, “Big is in there cooking?!”

“Ya?” he said with a quick smile.

Ian nodded and drank.

Mickey handed him the cigarette and he took a drag.

‘Caffeine and nicotine, breakfast of champions’ he thought. Mickey had his eyes half closed and was looking into his cup. In took another drag and turned it toward him but Mickey didn’t take it.

“Hey.” He said and moved his hand to his leg, Mickey’s eyes lifted up to his.

“I love you.”

Ian’s heart melted. Mickey rarely said it, but Ian knew he needed to say it as much as he did earlier. 

Ian gave his leg a squeeze and smiled at him. Ian’s held out the smoke and he took it. 

“Bacon huh?” he said his eyes sparkling at Ian. 

“Yep, and eggs.” 

Mickey crushed out the smoke.

“Least the Feds are good for somethin’” Mickey said throwing back the covers and swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. 

 

They walked into the kitchen as Sutter was setting plates down on the counter.

“Morning.” He said again.

Sutter dished out eggs onto plates and held one out, Ian put down his coffee on the table and walked up and took it and grabbed another for Mickey, he turned toward the table and sat and Mickey was still standing. Ian set the plate down next to him and looked up, Mickey shook his head and Ian nodded. Mickey put his hands out and rolled his eyes but stomped over and sat. 

Sutter walked around the table with a plate of bacon setting it on on the table and sat across from them. He lowered his own plate of eggs down and started eating. Ian lifted the fork that was already on the table and ate the eggs. 

“Mm.” he murmured and shoved more in, he grabbed the bacon on the plate and brought it right to his mouth. 

Mickey was staring at him. 

“What?” He asked smiling with his mouth full.

“Hungry?” he asked with sarcasm.

He shoved the whole piece of bacon in his mouth and chomped over it with his mouth open in a big smile and Mickey let out a laugh. 

“Feeling better?” Sutter asked Ian.

“Mm.” he said around a mouthful of bacon. “Thanks.” He said.

Sutter looked at him, he was completely different today. He was calm and rested and when he looked at Mickey he automatically smiled. Mickey was scowling into his plate but he was eating, he smiled and wiped his mouth watching them. 

“Shit this is good.” Ian said when he came up for air.

“There’s more over there.” He waved his hand at the stove.

“Mm” he said nodding and pushed his chair back.

“Think you never had eggs before.” Mickey said scowling. 

Ian scooped up more eggs onto his plate and came back to the table.

“Didn’t eat yesterday.” He said through the eggs.

Big looked at Mickey and his eyes flickered with worry. Mickey grabbed his fork and lifted his plate and slid his bacon onto Ian’s plate, Ian grabbed it and stuffed it in his mouth. 

'Jesus they're somthin’' Sutter thought. One scowly and mean looking but under that he was soft as mush when it came to Ian. The other one looked like he was soft but under that he was tough as nail when it came to Mickey. 

Sutter saw Mickey’s eyes narrow when he looked back at him, he must have seen him taking them in because his eyes were locked on his in a cold stare and Sutter smiled sitting back. He almost laughed out loud but Mickey would probably punch him. 

 

Mickey saw the Fed watching them in amusement, he didn’t really care what he thought was funny. Ian got up and grabbed the plate in front of him.

“Hey, leave it man.” He said. 

Ian shook his head and headed to the sink. Mickey tuned his head and saw Ian was rinsing off the dishes in the sink, his hand came up and he rolled his eyes.

When he turned back the Frick was smiling again. 

“What!” He shot out and Frick just shook his head.

He tilted his head and huffed with a grimace. He glanced back at Ian and he was pouring dish soap onto a sponge, his hands came up and he shook his head. He set his coffee on the table and gave the Fed a hard look and stood up. 

“OK fuckin’ happy housewives.” He said to Frick with a thrust of his chin.

He pushed the chair back and stood, he heard Ian say, 

“House husbands.” in a teasing voice. 

He turned to him on his way out and flipped him off and Ian smiled back at him. He shook his head as he walked into the bedroom. That was too fucking weird, Ian playing happy homemaker with a Fed. He shut the door and headed to the bathroom and kicked at the clothes on the floor and stripped. He turned the tap and stepped in and braced his hands on the wall under the showerhead and the water rolled down his back. 

‘Fucking Feds.’ He thought. He only spoke with them when he had to and sitting at the table eating breakfast with one like it was normal was just too much. Ian was right though, Frick wasn’t a total dick but he was a Fed. He had met a more than few Feds in the past few months and Frick was the only one who seemed almost human. He didn’t shoot his mouth off like the other one. 

‘Fucking prick.’ He thought. 

He cleared his head and Ian waking him up that morning floated into his mind. He had thought he was dreaming when he came awake slowly and felt lips on his and Ian’s tongue slip through his lips until he had felt his skin and breathed him in. 

‘Fuck.’ He thought and bit his lip remembering this morning, he felt his gut roll and he hardened. He pushed the water out of his face and lifted his head. ‘Why is Ian in the kitchen anyway?” He thought twisting his mouth into a smile. He washed his hair and the bubbles and heat made him think Ian should be in here with him and NOT in the kitchen washing fucking dishes. 

‘Hmm.’ He thought turning and bringing a hand up to push the shampoo out of his hair. He thought about walking up behind Ian at the sink and biting into the corner of his neck, right on the spot that melted Ian into a puddle. Ian’s body would go weak and he’d reach back to him. He’d pull at Ian’s jeans and the button and zipper would come down and he’s grip Ian’s cock tight with his hand. Mickey would watch his face as his mouth opened and feel his breath come faster.

“Mmm.” Mickey murmured and licked his lips. Ian would grab his wrist and he’d feel him harden in his hand. 

Hot blood rushed through him and he hissed. He pushed hard at the faucet and stepped out with his eyes closed. He shook himself hard, shaking his head roughly and opened his eyes to find a towel. He dried his face with a harsh swipe and started moving it over his body walking into the bedroom. He brought it up to his neck and pushed hard into his skin, he looked up when he heard the door opening and Ian was coming through it. Ian closed the door behind him and all the heat in him surged up. 

He dropped the towel and his tongue licked over his lips. 

“Come ‘er” He said and he took two steps and his mouth opened and Ian’s mouth slammed down onto his. He gripped Ian’s waist and Ian’s hand was pulling at his neck, their tongues pushing into each other. Mickey grabbed at his jeans and hissed, he pulled and they opened and he gripped tight onto Ian’s cock and he hissed against his mouth. Ian grabbed at the waistband and pushed his jeans down, Mickey gripped the other side of his jeans and shoved them down further. Ian lifted one hand and grabbed the back of his shirt and lifted it. 

Their mouths came away from each other but Mickey kept his eyes on his face as it lifted his shirt. Ian’s hands slid around his waist and neck as his lips came back to his, he gripped Ian’s neck and pulled him in. Mickey let his fingers relax on his cock and let each finger tighten back over it one at a time. Ian’s mouth widened and he watched his face twist. Ian’s hands came up to his shoulders and he pushed him against the dresser, he felt the hard wood at his back and pushed his tongue deeper into Ian’s mouth. Ian turned his head and sank his mouth and teeth into his neck.

“Ahhh.” His teeth clenched and he dug his hands into Ian’s neck and back. Ian dropped to his knees and Mickey watched Ian take his cock into his mouth. 

“Fuuuuck.” He let out when as he sucked firmly, holding his hip and his eyes were on his face, he let his eyes close as he felt the heat overwhelm him. He panted out long breaths until he felt Ian’s tongue swirl around him, his breathe stuck in his lungs and he felt Ian’s tongue flick over his hip and Ian’s hands were pushing and pulling at him hard turning him into the dresser. Ian’s arms were on his, they both braced against the dresser, and Ian’s fingers closed around his hand. He felt Ian’s breath on his shoulder and his hand moving over his waist. He sank his mouth under his ear and Mickey hissed. Ian guided himself into him with a steady thrust, Mickey bit his lip and felt Ian’s hands and mouth move over him as he thrust, Mickey panted and hissed as he moved. He heard Ian breathing hard and he moved harder with him. Mickey‘s fingers gripped the dresser hard and it moved under him, he felt the tangle of pent up heat start to peak and let out a long growl, Ian’s hand circled around the base of his cock and his breath sucked in as he came with a rush of agonizing pleasure and heat. His breath sucked into his lungs and his mouth stretched back as Ian took a half step back and pushed his shoulder down. His head moved closer to the dresser and Ian moved in him. Mickey felt Ian harden and he moved back into him as Ian held his hip tight, their bodies locked together. He heard Ian’s ragged strangled breath and his body tense against his as he came and Ian's whole body shook against him. 

Ian dropped his head onto his shoulder and they both panted in and out. Mickey smiled and brought his hand up to Ian’s arm that held him tightly around his waist. He turned his head against the dresser and opened his eyes enough to see Ian with his eyes closed and his mouth resting on his shoulder. He lifted his head and rubbed his jaw against his hair and he saw Ian's lips turned up into a smile, Ian turned his face into his jaw and kissed it breathing heavily. 

Mickey growled low in his throat, Ian moved their hands over his belly and lifted his head, Mickey felt him shake his head and let out a huff. Mickey let out a little laugh and straightened up reaching back against Ian’s head. Their hands came up together and Ian turned into him and he slid his open mouth against his lazily. His nails moved over Ian’s hair and Ian murmured. “Mmmm.” against his lips. Ian let out a sigh and rested his chin on his shoulder and Mickey held his head as they swayed back and forth, he heard a muffled laugh from Ian. 

“Hm?” Mickey murmured with his eyes closed.

“We’ve been awake for an hour.” He said lifting his head. 

Mickey smiled and said “So?” 

Ian laughed and smacked a kiss on his shoulder and brought his hand down to his waist, he took a step back bringing Mickey with him. He back stepped and hummed into Mickey’s shoulder and it tickled, Mickey laughed and felt Ian turning him into the bed. He kept one hand in Ian’s and reached out and landed sideways on the bed. Ian was on his back and he brought their hands down to his chest. He brought his legs up and rested his head on his bent arm with his eyes closed. He felt every piece of himself relax into the bed and his breathing became slow and steady. 

“6 months.” He heard Ian say in a low quiet voice. Mickey lifted his head on his arm and squeezed Ian’s hand. 

“6 months and 14 days.” Ian said. Mickey opened his eyes and saw Ian’s eyes were half closed and he was staring at the wall. There was hurt and worry in his voice and Mickey hating hearing it. He kept his eyes on Ian and watched his face, his brow furrowed and his hand tightened in his. He watched his hand come up into his hair and his eyes closed spreading his fingers over through his hair. He let his arm fall around his head and let out a short breath. Mickey shifted his weight toward him until their bodies were touching and reached over with his other hand over Ian’s head and brushed his fingers over Ian’s wrist and hand.

Ian opened his eyes and turned into him bring his hand down and sliding his hand around his waist until they were face to face. Mickey wrapped his legs through his and stroked his hand over his arm. 

Ian’s eyes were on his and he felt his heart fill, he felt everything in him want to take away every second of pain from him. He moved his hand to the back of his neck and Ian was looking into his eyes, they were soft and love slid through him. He tilted his head and brought his mouth to the corner of Ian’s lips and kissed it, and he felt Ian smile. He smiled and kissed Ian’s jaw and lowered his lips to his neck and lowered his mouth to his skin, he tilted his head and slid his closed mouth over Ian’s shoulder and settled back onto the bed smiling and Ian had a big grin on his face. He moved his fingers through Ian’s hair and Ian’s eyes closed. He brought his head down and tilted his chin up and kissed his forehead. He saw Ian’s smile still in place when his head came down. Mickey bit over his smiling lip and moved his hand to his back and started rubbing into it. Ian hummed low in his throat and pulled his arm under him and turned onto his stomach. Mickey rubbed his hand over his back kneading his fingers into his tense shoulders, Ian’s face was set in a half smile and he hummed in pleasure. Mickey moved his back around pushing into Ian’s back and Ian hummed lower, Mickey smiled and worked into his lower back as Ian hummed again. 

He rubbed his back until he thought Ian had fallen asleep, his breathing was slow and deep and his back muscles were loose under his hand. He stopped his hand and rested it on his back, Ian’s eyes opened lazily and he gave him what looked like a drugged out smile. Mickey grinned and rested his lips on his shoulder and kissed his skin.

 

Ian’s mind swirled lazily around in his head. Mickey’s hand had lulled him into a half sleep, half drugged state of mind. He really didn’t care if he ever moved again, he felt perfect contentment. He saw through hazy eyes Mickey lift himself up off the bed and let his eyes close. He drifted until he vaguely heard the scrape of a lighter. 

‘Cigarette.’ He thought and contemplated if he wanted it enough to move. Nicotine won and he swung one leg over the other and turned his hips, he turned onto his back and lifted his hand to his stomach, that’s as far as he was going to get. He lifted his hand and he heard Mickey let out a short laugh. He felt Mickey’s hand over his mouth and took the cigarette into his teeth. He lifted his hand and took it through his fingers, he took in a long drag and thought, ‘Ya, totally worth it.’ He exhaled and held the cigarette over his chest. He rolled his eyes behind his lids and considered opening them, ‘Nah, too soon.’ he decided and took another long drag. He felt the bed dip beside him and held his hand out in the general direction of the motion, he felt Mickey take it and his hand dropped. 

‘Sleep, sex and breakfast.’ He thought. ‘And sex again with a back rub included. Mmmm perfect.’ 

He had walked into the bedroom and had seen the look in Mickey’s eyes. They were full of raw lust and his whole body had reacted to his eyes and low voice, the rush was instant and felt like the need to breathe underwater, it was overwhelming and desperate. He felt Mickey looking at him and decided he should open his eyes, they moved at his command but slowly. He rolled them open and turned his head, Mickey was on his back next to him with a grin on his face.

“How ya doin’ junkie face.” He asked. Ian let out a lazy chuckle and said. “Pretty good.” 

Mickey turned his head up to take a drag but his eyes stayed on him. He turned the cigarette to him and Ian reached over for it. 

“Mm, think there’s coffee left.” He said around the cigarette. 

Mickey tsked and said, “Kidding me, He’s probably got lunch set out already for you.”

Ian smiled and ran a hand over his hair. He dragged himself up to sitting and finished the cigarette, Mickey held out the ashtray and he took it and stubbed it out.

“Mm, shower.” He said. 

“Shower?” he heard Mickey’s happy tone and brought his eyes to his, they were wide and bright. 

He let out a grunting laugh and stood up, Mickey sat up and his tongue came out to the side of his mouth and he cocked his head. 

“Jesus.” Ian laughed and headed toward the bathroom.

He heard Mickey say, “6 months man.” and felt his fingers pinch into his waist.

 

Ian stepped out of the shower bracing a hand on the wall, he stood there for a minute and rolled his eyes in his head. Mickey had followed him into the shower and washed over every inch of him his eyes hot, Ian had felt the intense slow need rolling through him. Mickey had licked over his teeth and lips and lowered to his knees, the water rushed over his back and Mickey took his cock into his mouth with a low hum. He held the wall and felt Mickey’s hot mouth and tongue suck and lick him until he came growling and his head went back and he panted out breathes as Mickey took it all in, he had hit the wall with the side of his hand and hissed. Mickey took his mouth away and stood up in front of him. Ian opened his eyes panting and saw the gleam in Mickey’s eyes and the devilish grin on his face, he had closed his eyes and leaned his head against his arm sucking air and steam into his lungs.

He heard Mickey step out of the shower laughing.

“Oh ya.” Ian said. ‘HA! Fuckin’ killin’ me.” Mickey dried his arms, tilted his head and said, 

“Ya, but with a big pretty smile on your face.” while gesturing his hand around in front of his face and gave him a big laughing grin.

“Hmph.” Ian grunted grabbing up a towel and held it over his face and took a deep cleansing breath. 

 

Mickey smiled and grabbed clothes from the dresser, the dresser he had held onto while being banged and he let out a “Heh.”

He grabbed shorts for both of them and threw clean jeans on the bed, he threw shorts at Ian as he walked past him and they fell to the floor, he watched Ian bent to pick them up with a smile, obviously he was a bit fuzzy from all the suckin’ and fuckin’ Mickey thought and he let out another “Heh.” Ian gave him a dry look and he just smiled at him and slid on his shorts and jeans.

He loved Ian in the shower, all wet and slippery. He loved Ian on the bed too, oh and the dresser. There was a smaller dresser in the room with a mirror, ‘Maybe next time.’ he thought as he slid his arms through his shirt holes and brought it down over his chest. 

He opened the door and headed toward the kitchen, when he turned the corner he saw the other one was there, fucking Frack. He ignored them and headed to the coffee maker, he had been right it was full. He turned a cup up for Ian and poured the coffee vaguely heard them talking behind him. 

“How many?”

“Three.”

“For one guy?”

“Yes, for one guy.” He heard Sutter say with a touch of steel in his voice.

He turned a cup over for himself and heard Jenkins say,

“Why does it always have to be so fucking early?”

“Awww, your mom won’t get up and make you pancakes.” Mickey said with a tilt of his head and a wicked smile turning around.

Frack turned his head and glared at him. 

“Fuck you MIlkovich, I can’t fucking wait until I never see you again.”

Mickey took a drink from one of the cups and smiled at him.

Frick heaved out a ling breath and said,

“Alright.” He gave each of them a long look but Mickey cold smile widened at Frack. 

“It’s one more fucking day, Jesus”

“What’s one more day?” Mickey heard and his blood went cold, Ian was walking through the living room up to the doorway and he had heard them. 

Ian's confused eyes were on his and he felt his heart pulse into a streak of pain. 

“What a fucking dick.” Frack said.

“Shut up.” Frick said as he stood up. Mickey turned and slammed the coffee cups down never taking his eyes off of Ian. 

He saw Ian’s eyes widen as he started to understand.

“What the fuck?” Ian breathed out as Mickey started toward him. 

“Ian” he said calmly. He reached his arms out and held his upper arms as Ian stared into his eyes. He saw his brow furrow and his eyes squeeze shut and Mickey felt his pain hit him, Ian shook his head stepping back and Mickey held his arms tighter. 

“You’ll be lucky to get rid of him kid. Fucking scum bag.” Frack said and laughed.

Mickey saw Ian’s eyes fly open and they narrowed on Jenkins. Ian pushed past him and slammed a punch into his laughing face, he went over in his chair and hit the floor hard, Ian was breathing through clenched teeth but dropped his hands. Mickey stepped up next to Ian fists clenched and looked down at Frack, he was holding his nose as it gushed. He glared up at Ian and narrowed his eyes.

“Get up.” Frick said and stepped in front of Ian and reached his arm down, Jenkins pushed it away and stood up. 

“Now,” Frick started when Jenkins was standing “You know you deserved that.” Jenkins glared at him. “You’re not going to have a problem.” Jenkins opened his mouth to speak. “No, you are NOT going to have a problem.” He said with a stern look. He waited until he saw Jenkins head move and turned around toward Ian and Mickey.

Mickey was taking long breaths and looking at Ian, he was stepping back with his hands on his head and walked quickly out of the kitchen toward the bedroom. Mickey followed him his heart breaking in his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Mickey closed the door and watched Ian as he paced away and toward him. He walked around the bed and grabbed up the smokes, he lit one as he walked to the smaller dresser and put the ashtray down next to him. He kept his eyes on Ian and waited, working his jaw out to push away the buzzing in his head and pushed at his lips with his thumb. He braced his leg on the dresser and leaned against it crossing his arms.

“When? “Ian asked in a low shaky voice. 

“Tomorrow.” He said quietly. 

Mickey watched his mouth open and his body stiffen. He brought his hand up and dropped it.

“Where?” he asked

“I don’t know.” 

“How long?” He said.

Mickey took a drag and let it out staring at the bed they had woken up in together.

“Mick.” Ian said firmly.

“It could be a couple months.” He said.

“Or?” Ian asked. Mickey crushed out the smoke. 

“Years.” He said quietly and saw Ian take a step back and his mouth twisted. He stared at Mickey for a beat and started shaking his head, pushing his arms across his chest through the air. 

“Ian.” He said starting forward.

Ian looked in his eyes and he stepped up in front of him. Ian’s eyes were glazed and there was hurt pouring out of them. 

He brought his hand to his face and he felt Ian’s hands grab the back of his shirt. He stroked his thumb over his cheek and his eyes roamed over his face. 

“No.” Ian said.

Mickey let out a breath pulling him in, he felt Ian’s arms clamp around his back and he ran his fingers through his hair. He felt Ian’s heartbeat pound against his chest and his eyes filled, he closed them and a tear fell down his cheek onto Ian’s shoulder. 

“No.” Ian said against his shoulder and he felt him tighten his arms around him.

“Yes.” Mickey said and he felt Ian stiffen. “I have to go.” Mickey said gently.

“But..” Ian started. 

Mickey took a half step back and looked into his eyes resting his hand on Ian’s neck. 

“You can’t get involved with this shit.”

“I already am.” Ian shot back.

“No, you’re not.” He said firmly.

Ian took a step back as his eyes widened. Mickey’s arms came down to his sides. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he said raising his voice.

Ian stepped back further. Mickey tried to stay calm and braced himself for what was going to be the worst conversation of his life. 

 

Ian was stunned. He couldn’t believe what Mickey was saying, he was leaving tomorrow? He was going to disappear for years? His heart was tearing at him and his head pounded. Mickey was looking at him calmly, Ian scoffed and shook his head. 

Mickey took a step and looked at him hard.

“These people.” Mickey said. “They’re fucking animals.” Ian opened his mouth to speak.

“No, listen to me.” Mickey said raising a hand to his chest. “If they ever find out, even think for a second I’m alive they will find me. They find me Ian and they find you and they’ll kill you, and not quickly. It’ll be you first.” His eyes were dark and there was pleading in his eyes. “Are you hearing me?” He said and his breath hitched. 

“You then me.” He repeated firmly. He took in a ragged breathe and lowered his eyes from his. 

Ian took a step back and turned away and thought about not being with Mickey again, he felt his heart ripping in him. He knew what Mickey was saying but he didn’t hesitate in making his choice. He turned around.

“I am involved.” He said firmly and moved back in front of Mickey. “I don’t give a shit what you did to get here Mickey or what the cost is later, but I’m here NOW and I don’t care what the fuck it takes.” He said evenly. Mickey’s eyes softened but he took a deep breathe in and said,

“I can’t let you get deeper into this.”

“Let me?” Ian said.

Mickey paused, “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Ian brought his hands up to his face and asked,

“Do you love me?” Mickey’s face fell and his eyes changed instantly and Ian saw the love he had for him.

Mickey’s eyes searched into.

“Ya.” Mickey said softly. 

“Say it.” Ian said gently.

“I love you.” He said immediately. “Ian, I love you more than anything and I’d rather…” his eyes closed. 

Ian felt his heart break for him and knew he was trying to protect him as he had at the border.

Ian brought his mouth down to his and kissed him. Mickey’s hand came to his wrist on his face, Ian saw his eyes squeeze together and felt how much Mickey didn’t want to lose him.

Ian took his mouth away and said, 

“OK.”

Mickey eyes opened and he looked into Ian’s he saw confusion in them and Ian smiled at him. Ian turned Mickeys hand on his face onto his mouth and kissed his palm. 

“I love you more than anything and I’d rather be anywhere with you.” He said. 

Mickey started to speak.

“No.” Ian said.

“Ian.” Mickey said in a firmer tone, he shook his head and started for the door. 

‘This shit is happening now’ he thought and barged into the kitchen, he heard Mickey hiss out, “Fuck.” as he came in behind him.

“NO.” Mickey said,

Ian ignored him. 

“Hey.” He said to Big. “Is it in the deal that I go with him?” Big looked up at him warily and looked over at Mickey. Mickey shook his head and glared at him.

Big looked back to him and raised his eyebrows. Ian dropped his chin and said,

“Is it?”

Big shook his head once settling back in his chair and lifted his coffee, he looked up at Ian and saw from his look there was a way.

Mickey came further into the kitchen and said, “Fucking NO, no fucking way”

Ian crossed his hands over his chest and waited. Big smiled into his coffee and mumbled, 

“You could get married.” 

Ian smiled and heard Mickey stomp around him.

“What the fuck did he just say?” Mickey said his face twisting. 

Big smiled as he brought his coffee to the table, Mickey was glaring at him shaking his head with his face scrunched up. Ian smiled, Jesus he loved that face. 

“We’d have to take you, federal law.” Big said with a slow smile. 

“OK.” Ian said nodding. 

Mickey brought his hand up. “WHAT?!” He said half laughing, half snarling and Ian loved the look on his face. Mickey crossed his arms and huffed out breathes and said, 

“No…no….Ian…no.” Shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh yes, Mickey…yes.” Ian said as he closed in on him. 

Mickey shook his head and sliced his hand through the air. He stepped back until he was stopped by the kitchen counter. Mickey’s eyes were raging, he loved those raging eyes. He stepped up in front of him and held his waist and Mickey looked down to the floor and the walls and everywhere but at him. Ian smiled and bit his lip, he grabbed the front of his shirt and gave it a tug. Mickey’s huffed out a breath and his eyes came to his. He tried to glare at him but Ian lifted his head and waited, his eyes broke and changed.

“I…..No.” Mickey said.

“Hey.” He said when Mickey tried to look away again “We have Feds to protect us, we have each other,” Mickey bit his bottom lip. “What else do we need?”

“You want to go to east bum fuck USA, fuckin' middle of nowhere?” He snarled out. 

Ian nodded and looked at him with all the love he had for him. 

“And you think these idiots can protect us? Fuck no.” Mickey shook his head again and sneered at Big. Ian brought his hand over his hand that was clenched on his crossed arms and covered it with his, Mickeys hand opened and he wrapped his fingers through his. 

“I’m not going anywhere without you ever again.” Ian said.

“Jesus Ian” Mickey said and tightened his fingers around his. Ian just lifted his eyebrows and bit his lower lip. He saw the question in Mickey’s eyes,

‘You’d leave everything?’ He nodded. Mickey shook his head but not as hard this time. 

“I’ll protect you.” He said with a teasing grin.

Mickey let out a huff and the corners of his mouth came up and Ian tugged at his shirt. Mickey searched his face and Ian saw Mickey’s face fall and his hand came up to Ian’s neck, he brought him down onto his open lips and Ian was still smiling when his lips came down over his. 

 

Mickey stormed into the bedroom. 

"What just fucking happened?" he said and his hands came up he paced around the bedroom.

“WHAT the fuck?” He said again. Ian walked in with a big satisfied smile on his face and started laughing.

Mickey dropped his hands, “Oh ya great! We’re both gonna be dead in a week and you’re Mr.Fucking Giggles.”

Ian nodded and laughed harder leaning against the small dresser. Mickey walked around the bed and pulled open the drawer in the nightstand, he took out the big bottle of whiskey and twisted off the cap and took a long drink with his eyes closed. He opened them and Ian was still leaning against the dresser smiling. He grabbed the smokes scowling and sat in front of him on the end of the bed. He lit a smoke and ran his thumb over his top lip. He had been determined Ian would not go with him, it was too dangerous but when Ian said “I’m not going anywhere without you ever again.” his heart had split open and he couldn’t say no to him. He smoked the cigarette, taking long drags and took a hit of the whiskey. He held the smoke out to Ian and hissed out his breath. 

Ian was so calm, just leaning against the dresser with his arms crossed looking at him. Mickey put his arms back and braced on them, he rolled his neck to ease the tension and his eyes fell on Ian, he had a sweet smile on his face and he was looking at Mickey like he had just given him the moon. 

He put everything except Ian out of his mind for the moment. 

“Guess we’re doin’ this.” Mickey said and smiled back at him. 

“Guess so.” Ian said and handed him the smoke. 

 

They walked back into the kitchen and Big was in fact making lunch, Mickey raised a hand and gave Ian a ‘See told ya’ look. Ian sat at the table and asked,

“Whatcha making?” Ian asked just to make Mickey scowl and he did. 

“Just some pasta, hungry?” He asked.

Mickey rolled his eyes and set down the smokes and the ashtray on the table and sat next to Ian. Ian nodded and Big lifted the pan and already had three plates out. 

“Where’s fuckface?” Mickey asked.

“He’s pouting in the bedroom.” Big said. 

“Hope you broke his fucking nose” Mickey said and lit a cigarette. 

“He did hit him twice.” Big said. 

Ian laughed and took the cigarette. 

Big brought over two plates down in front of them, and Ian took a quick drag from the cigarette.

“Thanks, mmmm.” Ian said and handed the cigarette back to Mickey.

“Jesus, get a room.” Mickey said, his arms were crossed and he sat back with his legs crossed under the table. 

“So.” Ian said to Big when he sat down. “How do we do this?”

“That might be tricky, Mickey can’t leave and we can’t bring anyone else here.” He said. 

“Hm.” Ian said eating his really amazing pasta. Mickey wasn’t touching his food, he was pushing his fingers over his lips and looking down at the table.

“What about Westford?” Ian said. 

“What about him?” Mickey asked. 

“He knows where Mickey is, he’s been here right?” he asked Mickey.

Mickey nodded and flicked his cigarette. 

“You’d have to use my phone, there’s a cage around the building and there’s no service.”

“Cage?” Ian asked. 

“It’s a block against cell phone and wifi.” Big said. “You’d have to go outside to call him.”

“He needs to go home.” Mickey said. Ian looked over and he was looking down at his hand that held the cigarette. Mickey knew when he had to take his meds and knew he couldn’t go anywhere without them.

“No.” Big said. “I understand the need to say goodbye, but you can’t”

“That’s not why.” Ian said looking back at Big. 

“We can get anything you need, you can’t go home.” 

“I have meds I need to take and I’ve already missed two.” Ian said “I can’t miss anymore.” 

Big lowered his fork to the plate and wiped his mouth, he sat back and gave Ian a long look. 

“Alight.” He said. “But if you see anyone you know you’ll tell them you’re going away and you don’t know for how long.”

“He’s not fucking stupid.” Mickey said.

“Hey.” Big said looking at Mickey. “I’m breaking the rules taking him out of here so we do this my way.”

Mickey worked his jaw around and lowered his eyes. 

“It might be a good idea anyway, this way your family won’t come looking.” Big said. 

“Ya,” Ian said with a smile. “Lip got in his face.” He said to Mickey.

“Twice.” Big said.

“Hmph.” Mickey grunted and smirked crushing out the cigarette, he finally pulled the chair forward and picked up his fork.

“You’re taking him.” Mickey said. “I don’t want that shit for brains anywhere near him.”

Big nodded and Mickey gave him a glaring look.

Ian looked at Big and glanced quickly at Mickey and back at Big and nodded, it meant ‘He likes you.” Big shook his head with a smile and ate his pasta.

Ian grabbed his plate and rinsed it in the sink, Mickey was still sitting at the table and as he turned toward the door Mickey stood up and followed him to the bedroom.

Ian put on his jacket and turned to Mickey. He was biting his lip and his arms were crossed, the anxiety rolled off of him. 

“I’ll be back.” He said 

“You better be.” Mickey said.

Ian smiled and slid his hand around his neck and gave him a hard look. 

“Don’t kill Jenkins, they might not be so forgiving if you kill a Fed.”

“Ah, what’s one Fed?” he asked and his eyes lit up and grabbed Ian’s waist.

Ian scoffed and pulled him in, Mickey’s arms were tight around him and Ian took a deep breath and kissed his shoulder.

He stepped back smiling and headed for the kitchen. Big was waiting keys in hand. 

“Ready?” he said. 

“Yeah.” He looked back at Mickey as he started for the door, he was standing with a hand in one pocket and gave him a huge smile and a wave with his fingers. Ian laughed and closed the door behind him. 

 

When the SUV started to move Big handed him his phone. 

“It’s encrypted.” He said. Ian took his phone out of his jacket pocket and looked up Westford’s number. He punched the number into Bigs phone. 

A woman’s voice said. “Westford Long and Associates how may I assist you?’

“Ah hi, my name is Ian Gallagher…”

“Just one moment.” She said.

He heard a short buzz.

“IAN!” he heard and smiled.

“You fucking suck.” He said. Westford laughed long and hard.

“Ian my friend, it was all in the name of love.” He laughed out. 

“Mm Hm.” Ian said.

“How is our favorite little thug?” Ian laughed and thought Mickey would fucking kill him if he ever said that to his face. 

“Good.” He said. “He’s really good.”

“You sound happy.” Westford said suggestively. 

Ian felt himself start to blush.

He heard Westford’s low laugh and Ian rolled his eyes.

“Listen, I was kinda hoping you could help us out.” Ian said.

“Of course” Westford said and his voice changed to all business. 

“It’s not…. Well, it’s not technically a lawyer thing but do you know anyone who can marry us…today.”

Silence. 

“Hello?”

“You’re getting married?” 

“Ah ya.” Ian said with a smile.

“You’re going with him?” he asked.

Ian wasn’t sure is he was pissed or happy and said,

“Ya I am and nothing you can say can stop me.”

“Stop you?” Ya shithead, what the fuck?" Ian laughed he was all South Side under the sheen. 

“Can you help?”

“What do you need?” 

 

Phillip hung up the phone and called out, 

“Angie, get David on the phone would you and have Baileys send over the new collection.” He thought for a second. “Oh and call Gino for a pick up, oh I’ll call.” He said with a giggle. He felt like a kid in a candy store, he had seen so much of David and himself in Ian and Mickey that he had become attached, which he knew a lawyer should never do but he didn't give a rat's ass at the moment. They were getting married! He laughed again and slammed his hand on his desk. 

“David on line one.” He heard from outside his office.

“Thanks.” He said picking up the phone. 

“Hey.” He said. 

“Hello husband.” He heard and his heart melted in his chest.

 

Big stopped the truck around the corner from his house and said,

“Make it fast.” He nodded and got out. He walked quickly to his house and up the steps. He opened the door and heard nothing, that was odd especially for this house,

“Hello?” he said moving into the living room. The kitchen was empty and he headed up the stairs. He went into his room and grabbed his meds first. He went to the closet and took brought a small box down from the shelf and lowered it to the bottom of the bag. He took out shorts and jeans and shoved them in and randomly grabbed a few tee-shirts and threw them on top. He looked around trying to think about what he should bring. There was nothing here he needed, everything he needed was on the other side of Chicago. He headed down the kitchen steps and felt the emptiness of the house . 

He searched around and found a pen and a pad of paper. He sat at the table and started writing,

Hey guys,

I am going to go away for a while but I don’t want you to worry, I need to go and take care of Mickey. I don’t know when I’ll be coming back but I will call when I can. I just need some time to deal with all of this. I want you to know I love you and I will miss you all very much. Take care of each other.

Love,

Ian

Ian read over the words and thought it was pretty clear. He didn’t want to lie, and hoped the wording was not too harsh. They thought Mickey was dead and it sounded like he meant ‘take care of arrangements for Mickey’ now that he’s gone. He was going to take care of Mickey and he did need time, every minute he had left of his life to take care of Mickey. 

 

Ian climbed back into the truck and Big put the truck in Drive and said,

“Go OK?” he asked. 

“Yeah, no one was there.”

“I’m sorry kid.” He said. 

“Don’t be, this is what I want.”

“I get it.” 

Ian turned to him. Big looked over and said, 

“My wife Ginny, I took one look at her and that was it. I’d move heaven and earth to be with her.”

“It wasn’t exactly love at first sight with Mickey.” 

“No, I wouldn’t think so.” He said with a grunt.

Ian laughed and said, “No, it’s not what you think. We knew each other all our lives, everyone knows everyone where we come from.”

“Hm.” Big said. 

“When I really looked that’s when I fell.”

“Yeah, he’s a whole mess of layers.”

Ian was surprised, most people took Mickey at face value and didn’t look past the scowl and grit.

“Why do you say that?” he asked.

“The way he is with you.” He said. “I was there when he came in, and he was hell bent on you not being touched. I thought it was some kind of blackmail but when I told him you thought he was dead." Big shook his head. “He was….devastated.” he said quietly. 

“He wasn’t worried about himself, he was devastated because he knew it would hurt you.” Big looked over at Ian. “That’s love, when you don’t want the other person to hurt, when you care more about them then yourself.” Big smiled. “And then you beat the shit out of each other.” 

“Layers.” Big said with a nod of his head.

“Eh, they were just love taps.” Ian said and shrugged.

Big let out a laugh. 

“Hey, can I use your phone again.”

“Sure.” He said and handed it over.

“Thanks.”

He took out his phone and looked up the number of the Center. 

“This is Trevor.” He heard.

“Hi.” He said.

“Oh my God are you OK?” He said in a rush.

Ian held his breath and told the truth.

“I will be.” He said.

“Lip texted me and asked where you were.” 

“I’m in Chicago.”

“Ian, Lip told me I am so sorry man.” Ian heard the sincerity in his voice and hated knowing Trevor was hurting for him.

“Trevor.” he said in a low voice. “I need to take care of some things.”

“Yeah man, of course.”

“But I wanted to let you know I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

There was silence. Ian put his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes.

“I need time.” He said and knew it sounded weak.

“I need to do this.” He said. “For Mickey.”

He heard Trevor let out a long breath.

“Yeah, I know man. Will you call me and let you know you’re OK, please?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Ian, take care of yourself.”

“You too, and Trevor?”

“Ya?”

“I love you.”

Ian waited a beat and he heard, “I love you too man.”

“Bye” he said quietly and hit the off button. His eyes were filled with tears and he turned his head out the window. 

They drove in silence until Ian wiped his eyes and handed Big the phone.

“Friend?”

“Yeah.” Ian said.

“You did good.” He said and smiled. “You could be a cop.” Ian rolled his head over and glared at him.

Ian had needed to make that call, he couldn’t let Trevor worry about him again. He heard the hurt in his voice but it was because he was going to miss him, not because he had hurt him again and that’s all Ian wanted, to not hurt Trevor again. He had said I love you and he meant it, he did love Trevor as a friend and was going to miss him. 

“What’s next?” he asked.

“Bank, you need to take out money as if you’re going away.”

“I am.” Ian said with a grin. 

“Don’t take all of it, leave enough in there so it looks like you’ll be back at any time.” 

Ian nodded and asked, “Can we make one more stop?”

 

Mickey was losing his shit, they had been gone for over two hours. 

“Jesus fuck, it doesn’t take that long to grab shit.” He said to himself and paced the living room picking up another smoke. He had smoked half a pack and wasn’t slowing down any time soon. He picked up his beer and chugged it. 

He looked at the clock and it was only one minute later than the last time he looked. He rubbed his hands over his face.

‘It’s ok…he’s ok. Frick isn’t going to let anything happen to him.’ He drank the rest of his beer. ‘Fucking right he won’t cuz his head will be on a stick if he does.’ He sat and looked up at the clock. 

‘Where the fuck are they?’

“Hey.” He called out. “Fucking Jakies or whatever the hell your name is.”

He waited and the door didn’t open. He twisted up his face and stood up.

The door opened and he thought ‘Lucky’ and took a drag off the smoke.

“You got a phone.” He asked. 

“No.” he said, and crossed his arms.

Mickey shifted on one hip and said.

“Oh, really?” he smiled. “If I bash your head in I bet I could find a phone somewhere on your corpse.”

Frack pulled his lips back and stepped forward. Mickey smiled.

He heard a knock at the door and his whole body relaxed.

“Fucking finally.” He said and moved into the kitchen.

Frack walked past him to open the door. 

He saw Frack open the door and Frick came through but Mickey was looking behind him. He saw Ian’s face and he felt like he could breathe again.

“Fucking took you long enough?” He shot out.

“We ran a couple errands.”

“Errands?” he said and brought a hand up. “What fucking errands?" 

“The bank and a couple other things, no one was home but I left a note.” Ian said as he took off his jacket.

Mickey put his hands on his hips, 

‘Shit’ he thought. He knew how Ian felt about his family and knew he would have liked a chance to see them again. Ian looked over at him and smiled. 

“It’s all done. Westford will be here at 5 and I have some cash, we’re good.” He said.

'It's that easy?' Mickey thought. It was that easy for him to leave his family and everything for him? He felt his gut roll and the doubts creep in. They had been everything to each other but this? This was giving up his whole life, and for what? To live in witness protection for who the fuck knows how long with an ex con snitch? 

He saw Ian coming toward him and he looked at the floor and took a step back. 

“Hey?” Ian said. Ian held his arms and he shook his head and put his hand up. He felt Ian pulling him by the arm and he walked with him.

Ian closed the door as soon as they were in the bedroom. He felt his hands on his arms and crossed them, he couldn’t look up. 

Ian stood in front of him and rubbed his hands up and down his arms. He felt Ian’s hands and tried to focus on his touch but the thoughts kept coming. 

‘He can't love me this much.’ He shook his head. 'How can he love me this much?'

Mickey felt his chest heaving and his heart pounding. He felt Ian’s hands move over him and thought about the way Ian looked at him that morning, the way he said ‘I love you,’ the way he had needed to touch him in some way for the past day. He did all of this because he loved him. 

He leaned forward and put his head on Ian’s shoulder, Ian stepped forward and wrapped his hand around his head, he gripped the back of Ian’s shirt and stepped into him. Ian wrapped his arms around him and Mickey felt the fragments of his heart come back together in his chest. 

Ian held his head and waited until Mickey moved. Mickey tilted his head back and smiled at him lifting his hand to his wrist and bit his lip. 

Ian smiled and said,

“I think we should see how well that dresser holds up, whadaya think? Think the mirror would break?”

Mickey gave him a huge smile,

“Only one way to find out.” He said and grabbed the bottom of his shirt and started pulling it up.

 

Sutter was in the kitchen trying to talk Jenkins out of pressing charges against Ian, apparently when they had been gone Mickey had said something. It was no wonder, Mickey wasn’t exactly polite. 

“Listen, he’s a kid in a stressful situation and you didn’t need to say that.”

“He’s a criminal.” Jenkins said .

“Yes I know but that kid loves ..” He heard a loud crash and was up and on his feet running toward the bedroom door. He heard laughter and pounded on the door. 

“Hey!!” He called out and Jenkins walked up behind him, so much for rushing to the aid of your charge, he thought.

He pounded on the door and tried the knob and it was locked.

“We’re ok!” He heard Ian, and they were still laughing. 

He huffed out a breath and looked up. “Jesus help me.”He whispered. 

He heard, “Guess so.” from Mickey and heard Ian giggling hysterically. 

 

Ian and Mickey sat naked against the headboard giggling. 

“We’re ok!” Mickey mimicked Ian.

Ian laughed and panted out, “I didn’t want him busting in.” 

“Imagine his face if he did.” Mickey said and they both doubled over laughing.

Mickey didn’t know what was funnier the glass, Ian’s face or the Fed trying to bust in the room. 

The glass was everywhere, the dresser was covered in it and it was scattered all over the floor. They had started off nice and slow but things had gotten pretty hot and heavy and the mirror was slamming against the wall and SMASH. Mickey had stood up in a flash when he heard the glass start to break, so it didn’t come down over him but he had smacked his head right into Ian’s face and he had been knocked back. 

“Oh shit.” Mickey said. The glass rained down around his feet and he tried to step over it to get to Ian who was stunned sitting on the bed. He had a glazed look on his face and Mickey had snorted out a laugh and stepped on glass.

“Ow.. Ah.. Esh” he hissed and Ian started laughing at Mickey trying to walk over glass naked. They had heard the knock and laughed harder. Ian held his hand out and Mickey grabbed his wrist and tried to get over most of the glass and jumped to the bed. Ian laughed at the leap over the glass and they heard Frick. “Hey!” They were giggling like idiots when Ian had called out.

Mickey tried to stop laughing, he put his hand on his chest and tried to breathe. Ian was hunched over his legs and trying to slow the giggles as well. They slowed until Mickey coughed and grabbed the smokes from the nightstand. 

“Who’s cleaning up that shit?” he said smoke in his lips.

“Jenkins.” Ian said and Mickey giggled again. 

Ian walked his hand forward until he was on his stomach and braced his head on his elbow sideways. He was looking at Mickey’s feet and the blood on them from the glass. He rested his hand on the side and flexed it. 

“Ah.” Mickey let out in surprise when he felt the glass in his foot. 

“There’s glass in there.” Ian said and leaned his face in and carefully started taking out pieces of glass.

Mickey had a goofy smile on his face and he didn’t give a shit. The sight of Ian on his elbows inspecting his feet for glass totally naked with what looked to be the start of a black eye was so fucking sweet. He took a drag and watched Ian through the smoke. He couldn’t care less about the glass but Ian’s face was an inch away from his foot all scrunched up.

Mickey glanced at the clock, 4:15. Westford would be here soon. He didn’t know what he had planned but in the time he had known him, he had proved to surprise Mickey more than once. He seemed attached to Mickey almost from the start. It was weird at first but he had come to like him, he was someone Mickey could trust, not only with his life but with Ian’s. 

“Hey, what did Westford say.” He asked. 

Ian immediately smiled and said. “He just said he’d be here.”

“Ya.” Mickey said. “Sounds like him.”

“How’d you meet him?” Ian said as he moved to Mickeys other foot. 

“Prison.” Mickey took a drag and let it out.

“Prison? That’s’ it?” Ian asked.

“He was there one time when my shitty lawyer came.” Mickey crushed out the smoke. “He kept fucking looking at me and I said ‘What the fuck?’ Mickey held up his hands. “Anyway, he said he knew me.”

“How?”

“I don’t know man, the neighborhood I guess.” Mickey laughed. “You should have seen him man, all dressed and shit but no one fucked with him.” 

“He offered to be your lawyer?” Ian asked.

“Fuck no.” Mickey said. 

“Then what’d he want?” Ian asked getting off the bed with his hand full of little shards of glass. 

“Fucked If I know man, it was weird.” Mickey said. “He gave me his card, but I had the dough from the jobs I was doin’ inside so I called him” 

Mickey started to say he had needed more money than what he had made in prison but he put his finger to his split lip. Maybe they should stay away from that conversation he thought with a grin and he felt his lip sting. 

Ian was heading into the bathroom to find a trash can. Mickey flexed his toes, all the glass was gone. 

Ian came back into the bedroom and sat facing Mickey on the bed. 

“I like him.” Ian said.

“Ya, I knew you would.” Mickey said with a smile. “He’s a good guy, we can trust him.” Mickey said. He looked at Ian with his head against the headboard and thought about what Ian had said in the car with Westford. 

“We should get ready.” He said and rubbed a hand over his hair.

“We have time.” Ian said. 

“Time for what?” He asked in a low voice and bit his lip.

Ian stood up, “Come with me and you’ll find out.” He said as he walked into the bathroom with his eyes on Mickey.


	4. Chapter 4

Mickey stepped out of the shower with a big satisfied grin on his face, finishing what they started on the dresser had been worth the wait. He shook himself and water rained everywhere Ian laughed and threw a towel at him, he caught it and started drying himself. Ian was smiling and wrapped a towel around his waist walking into the bedroom and looked toward the clock. 

“Its 4:55” he said and grabbed his bag up from the floor. Mickey finished drying and wiped down the mirror with the towel, he saw he had a huge smile on his face and his eyes were bright. He laughed at himself and opened the glass cabinet and took out a toothbrush and hair gel. 

“Hm, what does one wear to a wedding in a safe house surrounded by Feds?” He head Ian say. He chuckled around his toothbrush. 

“What you’re wearing now is good.” He called out.

“HA.” He heard. 

He laughed as opened the gel and upended it into his hand. He combed his fingers through his hair and turned his head back and forth. He pushed a hand through and it landed where he wanted it. He dried his hands and walked into the bedroom. Ian had his jeans on and was lifting a shirt over his head.

“Aw man” Mickey said with a shake of his head. 

Ian huffed, “There are Feds Mick, Feds.” 

Mickey stuck his tongue out to the corner of his mouth smiling.

“You’re marrying me though.” He said and turned to take clothes out of the dresser. 

He felt Ian come up behind him and he looked over his shoulder at him.

“I am huh.” Ian said. He wrapped his arms loosely around Mickey’s waist and Mickey put his hand to his head. Mickey looked over Ian’s face and there wasn’t any regret or hesitation, just happiness. He smiled and scratched his fingernails through Ian’s hair and kissed his jaw with a smack.

 

They walked out dressed and Big was on the phone and said,

“Ya.” He pushed a finger to the phone and turned to them and said,

“He’s here.” and walked to the door. Mickey went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, he opened the beer and took a long drink kicking the door closed. The door opened and Westford came in and soon as the door closed he said,

“Well Jesus.” Looking back and forth between them.

Ian smiled at him. He was dressed perfectly and carrying arms full of bags and two large vinyl bags on a hanger. Ian moved forward and took the bags from him. 

“Ian.” He said and dropped the cloth bag over the chair. Ian shoved the bags onto the counter and still smiling saw Westford come to him with his arms wide open, Ian hugged him and his arms were tight around him.

“It’s so good to see you.” He said with a squeeze and let him go, he held his arms and studied his face. 

“Cop?” He asked his eyes dark. 

“Huh” and Ian remembered the black eye. “Oh no, little accident.” He said,

Mickey sputtered out a laugh. 

Westford turned to him and Ian saw Mickey look up at Westford through hooded eyes with a grin.

“Hey man.” He said and pushed off the refrigerator. 

“Hey man?” He said mimicking Mickey. “That’s all you’re gonna say?” Ian saw Mickey’s chest rise up in a laugh as he stepped forward and held out a hand.

Westford grabbed his outstretched and pulled him in for a hug, his arm went tightly around Mickey. Ian saw Mickeys amused face and he did bring his arm up around Westford for a second. 

“Alright, alright enough. Jesus paws off old man." Mickey said with a smile. 

“I brought ..everything.” Westford said with a big satisfied grin and moved over to the bags.

“Where’s the dude that’s gonna marry us, he in one of those bags? “ He asked .

“I am.” Phillip said taking out bottles from a bag. 

“Ah, here. Ian, this is for you, I know you like it.’ He held up a bottle that was the same kind as they had drank together in the car. 

Ian smiled and said, “Thanks man” Westford nodded. 

“And Mickey.” he turned around and handed Mickey a big bottle of whiskey. Mickey smiled wide and held his hand out. 

“Nice.” He said. 

He looked back and forth between them again. 

“Why aren’t you dressed?” he asked. 

“Ahh.” Ian looked down at himself and he saw Mickey put his arms out and twist his mouth up.

“Jesus you two.” He said walking toward the table. “Luckily I, your lawyer slash justice of the peace slash wedding planner is here to save your sorry asses.

“Hey!” Mickey said. Westford ignored him and picked up the clothes bag. He looked in and handed one to each of them.

“Now go, and when you come out TRY and look fucking presentable.” He said sternly. 

Ian looked at Mickey and he was shifting on his feet and turned his head toward him. 

Ian shrugged and Mickey scowled with a shake of his head and turned around stomping out of the kitchen. Ian looked back and Westford was taking more stuff out of the bags and gave him a wink. 

 

Mickey threw the bag down on the bed and opened the whiskey. 

“Mm.” he said, taking a drink. He took the bottle away and looked at it, it was some prime shit. He took another long drink and said.”Whooo.” when he let out a breath.

“Whoa.” He heard. Ian was looking down into the bag he had unzipped. 

Mickey walked around to him and saw inside the bag was a bright blue shirt. It was high end and looked like it cost a mint.

“Fuck.” he said. Ian pushed the bag down and brought out the shirt. 

“Holy shit.” He said and turned it to Mickey.

“Very nice.” He said and took another drink.

“Open yours.” Ian said. 

Mickey put the bottle down on the dresser and unzipped the bag, inside was a shirt exactly like Ian’s but a dark gray, it was so dark it was almost black. He whistled through his teeth.

“HA!” he said pulling it out and held it up in front of him.

“Ya? He asked.

“OH YEAH.” Ian said. Mickey took off his shirt and took the dress shirt off the hanger, it even felt expensive. He slid his arms in and it slid over his skin. “Ahhh.” he breathed out.

He looked down at his wrists and the cuffs were right at the edge. He started buttoning it and looked over at Ian, he was buttoning his own shirt and he thought, ‘Fuck he looks good.’

Mickey tucked in his shirt, it fit perfectly.

“How the fuck’d he do that?" He said and Ian laughed. “Man’s like a fucking genie” Mickey said with a shake of his head.

“Damn” he heard Ian say. He smiled and gave Ian a sidelong glance, Ian was biting his lip and giving him a long look with hot eyes. 

He looked Ian over, he rubbed his lips together and tilted his head. 

“Mmm. Fuck ya.” He said. 

The shirt was so blue it almost glowed but Ian’s eyes looked greener and he could see the blue in them. The shirt was tight against his skin and he hissed in a breath and took a step toward him. He bit his lip and slid his hands around his waist, Ian lips came down and kissed him slow and deep. He felt a wave of love and something else he couldn’t quite identify, it felt like the first rays of sunshine after a long hard winter and it had been shifting inside of him since Ian had come back from his trip home. 

Ian lifted his head and looked down at Mickey’s shirt lifting a hand to Mickey’s shoulder and moved his fingers back and forth on the soft material. Mickey saw something in his eyes, he looked like he was a little nervous. Ian looked into his eyes and bit his lip.

Ian stepped away and picked up his backpack and put it on the bed. Mickey watched him and saw him take out a small black bag from the backpack.

“I stopped….before…” he said with a nervous breath and pulled at the top of the bag opening the tie that held it closed. Ian held up his other hand and shook the little bag until two rings fell out onto the palm of his hand, they were a dark gray that was almost black and they were identical. 

Mickey felt like he had been punched in the head. He looked at the rings in Ian’s hand and he couldn’t think or speak, he felt all of his heart melt and he knew he wanted one of those rings on his finger more than anything he had ever wanted in his life.

 

Ian licked his lips nervously, Mickey looked stunned. Ian had thought it was a good idea at the time but maybe it was too much. Mickey was still staring at his hand and he wasn’t too sure he was breathing. 

“If you don’t want to… “Ian said in a rush shaking his head.

His eyes came up to Ian’s and he saw Mickey's heart in his eyes. Ian smiled and Mickey looked back down.

Mickey nodded slowly. “Ya.” he said and let out a breath.

Ian picked up Mickey’s and asked.

“You like them though?”

Mickey looked up at Ian and said,

“Yeah.” He said in a low voice. “Yeah, I like them.”

Ian smiled and picked his ring up and held it out to Mickey. Mickey took it and let his hands fall to his waist looking down at the ring and turned it in his fingers. 

Ian slid Mickey’s in his pocket and saw Mickey carefully put his ring in his pocket. Mickey turned away and rubbed his fingers over his eyes and took a hit from the bottle. He tilted his head at him and his eyes were bright and happy as he took a step toward him and put the bottle down.

“Let’s go.” Mickey said smiling and they walked out into the living room together. 

 

Westford’s face lit up when he saw them.

“Nice!” Westford said standing up.

“Where’d you get these?” Ian asked.

“I have a friend of a friend who designs.” He was looking over both of them and raised his eyebrows at Mickey.

“You clean up nice.” He said.

Mickey held up his middle finger and gave him a long look. Westford smiled and they walked toward him, Ian was laughing and Mickey was scowling at Westford. Big came into the living room carrying beer and a bottle and Mickey’s scowl turned back into a smile. Ian and Mickey stood in front of Westford facing each other. 

“I’ve never seen you together.” Westford said. “But I knew when I met you both that you were crazy about each other, you could have just been crazy..” 

Mickey gave him a dirty look and Ian laughed. “But even an idiot could see that you would do anything, go anywhere and give anything to be with each other. 

Ian looked at Mickey and everything he wanted was right here in this minute. He was looking at him calmly not moving, only looking into his eyes.

“When you have that, there’s nothing else you need in this world.” He said.

“Ian.” He said and nodded his head slightly. Ian took the ring from his pocket and held it in his hand looking down at it. 

“I got these because I wanted you to see them.” He looked up at Mickey “I don’t want you to ever forget that that I love you and the only place I ever want to be is with you. Wherever we go and no matter what happens, this is where I want to be. Since the first day you were the one for me, and will always be the only one." Ian said in a firm quiet voice. 

Mickey smiled and he felt Mickeys hands come up to his and he slid the ring on as Mickey’s fingers covered his open hand.

“Mick.” Westford said softly.

Mickey tightened his hands around Ian’s.

“You’re my heart man." He said quietly. “You’re my heart and soul. “

He saw Ian’s eyes fill up and took a step forward and brought his hand up to his face. Mickey reached into his pocket with a grin, Ian let out a little laugh and bit his lip.

“This.” He said pulling out the ring and held it up. “Is something I didn't even know I wanted” he said as he turned Ian’s hand onto its side over his palm. 

He pushed the ring onto Ian’s finger and closed his hand over his. 

“I love you and where you go, I go.” He said simply.

Ian brought his hand to his face and lowered his lips to his, and Mickey felt the feeling rise up in him again, it was peaceful and calm but it was powerful. He thought maybe it was knowing, really knowing he was going to be with Ian every day for the rest of his life. 

Ian rested his head on his and Mickey wrapped his hand around his head and pulled him in. 

Westford sniffed and Mickey glanced over at him from Ian’s shoulder, Westford was rubbing at his eyes. Mickey rolled his eyes and squeezed Ian into him tightly.

They smiled at each other and Ian laughed when Mickey shook his head at Westford’s emotional face as they walked hand and hand to the couch. Mickey fell back onto the couch with a sigh, Ian came down beside him and handed him the whiskey, he took it and his ring clinked against it and just the sound of it made him smile like an idiot. 

“Fuck it.” He said and smiled like an idiot leaning over and smacked a kiss on Ian's smiling lips. 

 

Sutter took the lazy boy in the corner, and Westford came in with glasses and bottle in one hand and beer in the other.

“Man, I knew I liked you.” Mickey said with a giggle.

“Ya, you better.” He said setting the alcohol down on the end table. “I got your ass out of prison!” he said and smiled a cheeky grin at Mickey. Mickey laughed and lit a smoke nodding.

Westford poured and held out two glasses to Ian and Mickey. He picked up another and held it out to him.

“No can’t, on duty.” He said. 

“What?” Ian said. “Come on, one drink?” He said. 

Big smiled and shook his head. 

“Really?” Mickey said. “I got married man.” He held up his hand and wiggled his fingers. 

“Huuuh.. Come ooon.” he said with a big grin and Sutter saw the real Mickey behind the scowl. He looked so happy and was totally unguarded. 

“I’d love to but what if you need protection from a mirror?” He asked dryly.

Mickey and Ian both laughed and doubled over onto their laps and the alcohol spilled over the rims of the glasses. Westford looked at them like they were nuts. He turned to Sutter and he shrugged and held his hands up.

Mickey and Ian both heaved out breath and Mickey put the cigarette in the ashtray. 

“One beer.” Mickey said and held one out to him. Sutter saw Mickey bite his lip and wave it back and forth at him. 

“Jesus, alright.” He said and he leaned over and took it. 

Mickey huffed out a laugh and stuck his tongue out sitting back up under Ian’s arm.

"Alright.” Mickey said. “Westford, you’re the word guy.” 

Westford sat in the last chair in the room and held up his glass. 

“As I said, I’ve never seen you together but now that I have, I know you’re both crazy.” Ian and Mickey looked at each other and nodded with a laugh. 

“But with crazy strength.” He looked at Ian and raising his glass higher. “And crazy love.” and looked at Mickey and held his glass out to him. Ian rubbed Mickey’s shoulder and kissed the side of his head. 

“You can do anything.” Westford finished. 

“Maan.” Mickey said putting his head down. Sutter saw a little blush on Mickey’s face and he did a double take. 

Now he had seen it all.

“It’s been along road but you’re here, you’re together and that’s all that matters. To Mickey and Ian.” He said and drank. Ian and Mickey took their shots and Sutter took a sip of the beer and held it. Mickey took Ian’s glass and set it on the table and took his hand as he sat back. 

“That was nice man.” Ian said.

Westford smiled and said, “Meant every word.”

Westford went to the table and poured more for himself. 

“Hey, that’s mine.” Ian said.

“This is mine, yours is in the kitchen.

“HA. Yes.” Ian said.

Westford sat back down and settled into his chair. Sutter had met him before and had never liked him much, he was big and brash. He wasn’t sure if he liked him any more now but he had really pulled out the stops for Ian and Mickey.

“I’ve never asked and maybe I shouldn’t but I’ve been drinkin’ so..” He shrugged “How in the hell did you two get together?” He asked with a toothy smile. 

“He tried to kill me.” Ian said and Sutter whipped his head around.

“I fucking did not.” Mickey said.

“He had a bat. “Ian said.

Westford laughed and Sutter smiled and brought his hand up to his mouth. He watched Mickey’s eyes squint and his face twist up.

“You tried to rape my sister.” He said like that was all that needed to be said.

Westford laughed out. “What?’

“I didn’t really.” Ian said. 

“She said you did!” He shrugged and his arm up.

“And you tried to kill him, makes sense.” Sutter said.

“See! Thank you “Mickey said as he brought his hand up higher and took a drink. 

“And?” Westford said. 

“Ya. AND? “ Mickey said. “You were the one with the tire iron, in case you forgot.”

Westford giggled and nearly fell out of his chair. 

“Ya OK, who was tryin’ to kill who?” Mickey said with a nod to Ian.

Sutter let out a low laugh. Mickey was trying to sound convincing but he was smiling while he said it.

“Tire iron?” Westford said.

Ian nodded and took the beer Mickey handed him. 

“He stole a gun.” Ian said with a shrug.

“Jesus.” Sutter laughed.

“Alright, alright.” Mickey smiled and held his hand out. “I did steal the gun.” and laughed into his beer as he drank. 

“Uh huh.” Ian said and smiled down at Mickey, his eyes sparkled with mischief and he smiled in a wicked way. There was something they weren’t saying and he had to ask. 

“And why’d you steal the gun?” He asked.

Mickey slid his tongue on his teeth and tilted his head. 

“So he’d come after it” Mickey said and a huge grin spread across his face and he shrugged. Ian was laughing behind him and Mickey turned his eyes to him and laughed with him.

Westford clapped his hands as he went over laughing. 

“You….. “ Westford started breathlessly. “You liked him so you stole a gun?”

Mickey nodded and drank his beer his sparkling eyes on Westford.

“How old were you” Sutter asked. 

“15” Ian said, “He was 16.” 

Sutter shook his head in disbelief. “Seven years?” he said.

“Yep” Mickey said and grabbed his cigarettes. He took one out and lit it sitting back, he let the smoke out with a hiss and wrapped his hand around Ian’s leg.

Sutter shook his head again, watching them get married was so endearing. One who beat down a fed without a thought and the other bristled with anger most of the time. But in that one moment Mickey didn’t move and he had never seen him not moving in some way. Completely still he had said the words and sincerity poured out of him. Ian had been so nervous about the rings when he bought them, even asking him if he thought they were too much, but when he held it up and said he never wanted Mickey to forget that he loved him, he had almost teared up. 

“Wait, back to the tire iron.” Westford said and looked at them intently.

“Uhmm.” Ian said and took a long drink of his beer. 

He took a sip of beer and thought, ‘Oh I have to hear this.’ 

“We beat the shit out of each other and banged.” Mickey said. 

Sutter laughed and beer spit out over him, they were all laughing at what Mickey had said and him. He laughed long and hard shaking his head. 

When he settled down he wiped the beer off his chin and shirt.

“You shouldn’t have given him the beer.” Ian said. Sutter looked up and Ian was looking at Mickey smiling.

“Nah man.” Mickey said and they both turned to him. 

He chuckled and said. “Guess not.” 

Mickey was looking at him with a look he hadn’t seen before, it took him a second but he realized Ian was right, Mickey did like him. 

He stood up and wiped beer off of him, handing the beer to Mickey.

“Frack is in there.” He pointed at the closed door. Mickey let out a surprised giggle at the name.

“Where you goin?’” Ian asked. 

“Ginny.” He said. Ian nodded.

“Hey, we’ll save this for you.” He heard. “Think you can drink it right this time?” He heard from Mickey. 

He turned without stopping and flipped him off, he heard all of them laughing as he walked through the door.

 

Westford thought they were so sweet, but he would never say it out loud. He could maybe take one of them on a good day but both of them, no. He set his glass down and stood up.

“Well, I have to get home to David.”

They both stood up and he started toward them. Mickey’s eyes were shiny, a little from the alcohol but mostly from being happy as fuck. Westford grabbed his bottle and walked into the kitchen,

“Don’t let the cops get your booze.” 

Ian smiled, “Alright.” He held Ian’s face in his hand and said. 

“Take care of him.”

“I will.” He said and pulled him in for a hard hug.

He let Ian go and Mickey had his arms crossed and was looking at his chest, shifting back and forth on his legs. Phillip waited for his eyes to come up. He put his hand on Mickey’s face and gave his cheek a little tap. He gave him a stern look and said, 

“Be good man.”

Mickey nodded and said, “Thanks man, really.” and brought his hand up to his shoulder.

“All part of the job.” he said and stepped back, they both smiled and he grabbed up his coat. He looked back at them when he opened the door and he saw their hand come together between them. He winked and gave them a wave closing the door behind him.


	5. Chapter 5

Michael Phillips opened the truck door and shoved himself out, his feet hit the dirt and he slammed the door behind him.

“Later.” He heard from the driver.

“Later man.” He said and the truck drove off leaving a cloud of dust. He lifted his hand and pushed off his hard hat and walked toward his own truck. There were a couple of guys leaning against the side of the little trailer in the middle of the plot of dirt.

They nodded as he walked up and he walked up beside his truck and put his hand up to the door handle.

He heard a slam and looked up, the trailer door had burst open and hit the wood railing hard.

“MIKE!” He heard and saw a gorgeous woman with dark hair and blue eyes scowl at him with her arms crossed. 

“What?” he called out. She waved her hands in the air and turned stomping back into the trailer.

“OOOOoooo.” One leaning guys said, he was huge and sweaty.

“In trouble with the Mrs.” The other said. He started for the stairs and flipped them off when he reached the landing.

“I’d love to get into trouble with her.” Sweaty guy said.

“Ya, ok.” He said. “Like she’d touch your sweaty ass.” He said with a scowl and heard laughing as he slammed the door.

He stepped in and blinked his eyes to adjust them to the dimmer light. She was standing at her beat up desk looking at and ancient computer screen with her teeth bared and her eyes narrowed and she was hitting the keys and swearing. 

“Motherfucking fucking thing.”

Mike grabbed at one glove and tore it off and lifted the other away from his hands and shoved them in his back pocket. 

“Fucking fuck FUCK” she hissed and slapped the side of the screen.

He lifted a hand to his mouth and ran his thumb over his lower lip, he wasn’t fooling her though and she said, 

“Oh Yeah, HA HA.” She glared at him.

He let out a laugh and shook his head. He walked around the desk and she stood and walked around to the old metal chair in front of her desk. She dropped into the chair with a sigh and rested her head on the back of the chair, her eyes on the ceiling. 

“What’d you do?” He asked.

“Nothing.” She said defensively. He nodded and tilted his head. 

She glared at him. He grinned at her and he saw the corners of her mouth turn up.

“I don’t know.” She said and put her head in her hands. 

Mike sat in her chair and looked over the numbers and said,

“Hmph.” 

“What ‘Hmph’. She said sitting up.

“Nothin’, it’s not bad.” He said lying through his teeth. 

It was a fucking mess, again. Heidi was a lot of things but a math genius she was not. He grabbed a piece of paper from the mass of papers littering her desk and found a pencil up and fiddled with it between his fingers as he added and divided in his head. 

He had hit the trailer to use the can about a month after they got here and Heidi had been swearing a blue streak while tearing at her hair pacing outside the trailer.

Mike appreciated the ingenuity of her swearing and nodded his head at her. She stopped mid fuck and looked at him with narrowed eyes. 

“What the fuck you are you lookin’ at?” She said and she reminded him of his sister. He shook his head and his hand came up. 

“Nothin.’ he said. But there was something about her that made him think of home. 

“What’s the problem? “He had asked. 

She heaved out a sigh and she bitched and stomped her feet but he got the gist. The company had left the payroll and ledgers to her and she hated it. He had smiled and looked down at her, she was 5 foot nothing and a fuckin’ spitfire.

“Come on.” He said and motioned a hand to her and walked to the stairs.

“Huh?” she said, and lifted her arms. 

He had given her a tilt of the head and stepped into the trailer.

 

He scratched numbers into the paper and heard the chair squeak as she shifted her weight back and forth and lifted his eyes up, she was scowling at the back of the screen. He smiled sitting back and waved a hand up.

“You got payroll right.” He said. She turned the chair and he saw a pout.

“It’s good.” He said.

“Yeah?” she asked and her face lit up into a beautiful smile. 

He nodded and said “Ya.” 

He sat forward and went over the numbers again, he saw the problem and started writing. 

 

A half an hour later he handed her two sheets of paper. She pushed herself up and took them, she looked them over and saw Mike’s neat handwriting, he had written it all out for her. 

Mike stood up and she came around the desk bouncing with a big toothy smile. Her long hair held back in a tail bounced with her. 

“You’re the best.” she said and turned her beautiful smile at him. “I could kiss you.” She said. 

He smiled and waved a hand up with a grin. She bounced over and kissed his cheek. 

“Beers on me tonight.” She said dropping into the chair behind the desk.

“Ya they are” He said and opened the door.

“And bring that gorgeous man of yours.” She called out. 

He started down the steps toward his truck, he opened the door and it squeaked, he turned the key looking down the clock, 6:15. 

“Shit.” he said. He was very late and his gorgeous man was going to be very worried. He picked up his phone and texted.

‘Hey. Helped H, on my way home.’ He hit send and put the truck in drive, the leaning guys were eyeing him but he got that a lot. They were all trying to get into Heidi’s pants and they thought he was in her pants. He didn’t care, she had become a friend and as long as it kept the creeps off her it was fine with him if they thought they were screwing around.

He lit a smoke and turned the radio up all the way. It was the beginning of summer and this place wasn’t so bad if you discounted the rednecks. The food was good and everything was open, the land stretched out all around him as he drove. The only break in the open was little houses along a track off to the right. He took a drag from his smoke and let himself relax. 

It wasn’t like home, it was different and for the past year and a half they had lived here and been settled and happy. They had a few tough moments before they came here, for six months they had been in this little backwards town and they had hated every minute of it. They had stuck it out though until someone had said in an offhanded way. “Hey aren’t you…?” and that was the end of that town, they were in a car that night headed to the airport. 

They had come here and for two months after he couldn’t sleep, he’d sit up by the window in their bedroom and think of everything that could have gone wrong in that little town. He had found a job in demolition, it fed his need to beat the fuck out of shit, he thought with a smile. He took a drag of his smoke and rested his hand on the steering wheel. He still sometimes expected to see his tattoos across his fingers, that took some getting used to but he had exchanged those for one across his ring finger on his left hand. When he had taken the job in demolition he knew he couldn’t wear his ring at work, he could lose his finger if he did. He had gone to a tattoo shop and had his ring tattooed into his skin. 

He turned down the street toward home and threw the butt out the window. He drove down the long street until he came to their house and pulled into the dirt drive. It wove around the back of the house and he saw the small black car already parked there. He braked and threw the truck in park. He dropped out and slammed the door. He took the two steps up the stairs and opened the screen door pulling out his keys. He unlocked it pushing open the door and immediately smelled something amazing and let the door close behind him, he turned the lock and took the three steps through the hallway and stood in the doorway. He was there, tall and lanky with his red hair shining in the light. 

“Hey.” He said with a smile.

Ian smiled over at him and walked through the kitchen and opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. He twisted off the cap and took a long swig, walking up beside Ian.

“Whatcha makin?’” he asked bringing his hand up to Ian’s waist and gave him a squeeze. 

“That recipe Big gave me.” He said dumping something green into the pan.

“Mm.” he grunted and leaned against the counter facing Ian. “Get my text?” 

“Yeah.” He said and smiled at him. 

He took another swig of beer. It wasn’t as weird as it was but Frick and Ian being friends still kinda wigged him out a little. He was alright for a Fed, but Ian talked to him a lot. He knew Ian missed home and his family and he guessed Frick helped him out with that, and as long as Ian was happy it was ok with him. 

‘Still weird though.’ He thought and drank his beer.

Ian was stirring and looking down at the pan with his eyes wrinkled up.

“I don’t think this is right.”

“Looks alright.” He said and leaned over onto the counter toward the stove.

“No, it’s not.”

Ian had become a really good cook over the past two years, but he was a perfectionist about it. He had taken a job that was in an office in the city pushing paper and he wasn’t thrilled about it so if he needed to cook to push that obsessive little brain of his, Mickey couldn’t blame him. 

Mickey picked up a big spoon and took some and brought it up to his mouth. He shoved it in with a hiss, 

“Ahhh, hot.” He said chewing cautiously. 

“Mm, that’s really good man.” He said with his mouth full. 

Ian grabbed at the spoon. Mickey smiled with food in his mouth and shoved the spoon back in and pushed away from the counter, he shoved his mouth over it and smiled as Ian yanked the spoon away from him and walked off eating whatever the hell it was.

“Hey.” He turned back. “We’re going out with Heidi.” He said.

“Ya?” Ian said. 

He swallowed and nodded as he walked into the bedroom. 

 

Mickey walked into the bedroom after a quick shower wrapping a towel at his waist. He stopped at his dresser, it was small and beat up and where the mirror was supposed to be was empty. He found his ring where he left it that morning in the little box that was on the dresser and pushed it down his finger over his tattoo. He opened the drawers and took out his clothes and threw them on the bed. 

Ian came in and saw him in just a towel, his eyebrows went up as he walked to his dresser in the corner. Mickey smiled and shook his head firmly and pulled up his shorts.

“Come on she’s this big.” Ian laughed and held his hand to his waist.

“Alright then you can take the kick in the balls when we're late.”

Ian laughed as took off his dress shirt. He tugged his t-shirt off and Mickey saw the tattoo on his right shoulder blade, in black script it said Mickey and he always smiled when he saw it. Ian dropped his shirt over his head and pushed his arms through the holes.

“Nah, she likes me.” Ian said. 

Mickey sputtered out a laugh, when they had met it was like they were long lost buddies and they had become best friends overnight. She was usually here or they would hang out at the bar. He zipped up his jeans and picked up his shirt from the bed. 

“Ya well, I help her keep her job.” He said lifting his shirt over his head walking to Ian. Ian tilted his head and Mickey smiled and bit his lip bringing his shirt down over his chest. 

“That’s some fucking choice, either bang or get kicked in the balls?" He said laughing.

Ian put his hands on his shoulder and wriggled his tongue at him. Mickey pulled his head down catching Ian’s tongue in his mouth and he pushed his tongue into his grabbing at his waist. Ian kissed him hotly and his hands came under his shirt, he felt Ian's fingers spread out over his sides and lift his shirt up with his arms. 

Mickey heard a chime. He felt Ian pull away and scowled, he held his waist tighter and Ian pushed at his shoulders looking toward the door.

“No one’s supposed to be here.” He said and walked out into the kitchen. 

Mickey followed him with a grunt.

“It’s probably Mormons, come on man.” He said motioned both of his arms back to the bedroom but Ian was ignoring him.

He let his head fall back and let out a groan. 

“Fuck.” He said. 

Ian was at the door looking through the peephole. Mickey saw him unlock the door.

“Hey?” He said and his hands came up. 

He saw Frick and his hands fell to his sides.

“Oh ya, of course.” He said and crossed his arms. ‘Always shows up at the worst fucking time.’ He thought and turned to the kitchen to grab a beer.

“Hey.” He said when the door closed. 

“Hey.” Ian said. “You’re not supposed to be here.” He said. He came every month to check on them and had only been here two weeks ago.

“Yeah, I know. I have news though.” He said walking into the kitchen. 

Sutter knew they were surprised, he didn't like just showing up but he knew they'd want to know what was going on. He felt right at home here, he had picked the house for them himself. It was in a small town but close enough to a major airport to get them out fast if they needed to move. It was a nice little house and even though it was small Ian and Mickey didn’t need a lot of space and it was homey in it's own way. Boots and sneakers littered the hallway and coats and jackets hung up, the coffee table held an ashtray and two video game controllers which he himself had played on a few occasions. There were posters of beaches and a cork board with ticket stubs and menus and postcards stuck to it. There were pictures of Ian and Mickey in little frames over the past two years together and separately around the living room and kitchen. 

“Do we have to move?” Ian asked.

“No.” he said immediately “It’s nothing like that." 

Mickey came out from behind the counter and headed for the couch. Sutter motioned Ian into the living room. Ian sat beside Mickey and he handed Ian the beer, Ian took it but didn’t drink.

He sat on the edge of the chair facing them and braced his elbows on his knees.

“You’re not in any danger at all.” He said and he saw Ian relax into the couch, he tilted the beer up and took a drink. Mickey’s hand rested on Ian’s leg and he looked at him through hooded eyes.

“In fact, you’re not in any danger period.” He said and Mickey’s eyes narrowed and Ian said. 

“Huh?”

“It’s over.” He said. “There’s no reason for you to be in protection anymore.”

Ian looked stunned and Mickey’s jaw came out and he looked down at his lap. 

“I made sure myself that anyone that was a credible threat was dead or in jail, and not only in jail but in a faraway enough jail to not be a threat.”

He rubbed his hands together and looked at each of them. Mickey grabbed the beer from Ian and downed it. Ian was starting to smile.

“We can go home?” Ian said.

“Yep.” Sutter said and smiled at him, he knew Ian missed his family and had allowed a few phone calls to them and Trevor from a pay phone two hours away. 

Mickey was looking down rubbing his bottom lip. Sutter knew him well enough to know he was worried.

“I’m sure.” He said firmly and Mickey nodded but didn’t look up. 

 

Frick was at the door looking back and forth between them.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said and closed the door behind him. Mickey locked the door and turned around to Ian, he was leaning against the counter with a beer in his hand. Mickey bent over and grabbed his boots and Ian’s sneakers and walked to the couch. 

“You hungry?” Ian asked as he walked toward the stove.

Mickey shook his head and put his foot in a boot. Ian turned off the burner and came to the couch and sat next to him picking up a sneaker from the floor.

“Are you OK?” He asked.

“Ya.” He said and tied his laces.

“Mick.” He said.

“I’m alright OK, just…” He brought his hands up in front of him and sat back rubbing a hand over his face and looked at Ian.

“What if he’s wrong?” He asked “What if we go home and this shit starts up there?” 

Ian turned toward him and said, 

“He wouldn’t let us go home of he wasn’t sure.” He said and rubbed Mickey’s arm.

Mickey moved his hand to Ian’s leg and bent his head.

“Yeah.” He said with a slow nod. He knew if something was up Frick would know and take care of it. He drilled in to them what to say and what not to say, where to go and where to stay away from. He had taken Ian to call his family on more than one occasion and didn’t have to do that. He was there when they were going nuts in that little town trying to calm both of them down before they killed each other. He had literally stepped between them and that took balls. Ian had been shocked when he had stepped up and he had stopped. Mickey wasn’t shocked and Frick had taken a punch but he had brushed it off with a shake of his head and held up his hands to keep them apart.

 

“It’s just…” Mickey started shaking his head and Ian understood. Home was home, it was a good place for him but for Mickey it was a place where the Milkovich name was nothing. Here he was Michael Phillips, a good guy with a bit of a temper who worked all day and occasionally went out for a beer with his friends. He was happy, really happy. Ian had seen Mickey become more and more comfortable with being genuinely himself since they had been here. He wasn’t the only one who saw the sweet funny guy underneath the anger anymore, if they went home he’d be Mickey Milkovich again. 

Ian moved his hand to the back of his head and gave it a tug, Mickey looked up at him.

“We don’t have to go home.” He said.

Mickey shook his head and took Ian’s hand. 

“Ya we do.” And Ian knew he was saying it for him. 

Mickey looked up at him and said, “We’ll go home. I know you want to see them.” 

Ian started to speak and Mickey squeezed his hand. 

“We’ll see them and we can figure out the rest later.” He said and brought Ian’s hand up and kissed it.

“OK?” he said against his hand.

“OK.” Ian said and squeezed his hand.

“You better get moving, she’s probably steamin’ by now.”

“Shit.” Ian said and tied up his sneakers.

 

She was steaming they walked in and she looked over and glared at them. Mickey stopped and put his hands out. Ian smiled at her and walked over to the high top she was sitting at alone.

“Sorry, we got held up.” He said and put his arm around her waist and bent to kiss her cheek, she let him and said,

“Really. Held up?” she said with a smirk, rolling her eyes. Mickey smiled, he couldn’t help it she was so ballsy. 

“Family thing.” Ian said and she looked at him with concern. 

“Nothing major.” He said. 

“Well…OK.” She said and put her hand on Ian’s and gave it a rub. Mickey loved the way she was with Ian, she was like a sister. It was good for him to have that, he stopped mid thought. He wasn’t going to have that anymore, they were going home. 

‘Shit.’ He thought and realized they would have to say goodbye to Heidi and his heart hurt at the thought. 

She turned to him and her eyes changed, she was very perceptive as well. 

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Nothin’ just looking at your pretty face.” He said with a flirty smile. She smiled back pushing at his shoulder and he took a step back with the motion. He laughed when she smacked a kiss on his cheek as she stood up.

“Beers.” She said and walked toward the bar and Mickey sat next to Ian.

“This is gonna suck.” Ian said and Mickey nodded in agreement and sat back in his chair. 

 

Heidi was kicking Ian’s ass at pool, Ian was trying to distract her by calling her a cheat.

“How do you cheat at pool?” she said with a big grin and leaned over to take her next shot.

Ian watched the ball strike and hit the corner pocket with a loud bang. 

He pulled his cue into his face and closed his eyes. Dead, he was dead. Heidi giggled and he opened his eyes to see her walk around the table to line up her next shot.

He took a step away and dragged his cue to the table where Mickey sat. 

“She’s got you man” He said.

“Mmm.” He said around his beer. Heidi slammed the next ball in and let out a laugh.

Ian rolled his eyes toward Mickey. He was tipping his beer up and watching Heidi, his eyes were dark and worried.

“We’ll tell her.” He said in a low voice.

“We can’t” Mickey said. Ian nodded, they knew they couldn’t tell anyone who they really were and it wasn’t for only for their safety it was for Heidi’s as well. Mickey would think of that first.

“We can tell her we’re going away.” He said. Mickey watched Heidi dance around the table and smiled. He held his beer up and nodded. 

“The family thing.” Mickey said. 

“And we’re not lying.” Ian said and Mickey’s eyes came to his and Mickey nodded and looked down at his beer.

Ian upended his beer and drank the rest. He saw Heidi set up the 8 ball and he called out,

“Aw man.” She only smiled and hit it perfectly into the hole. She straightened up and curtseyed with a smirk. 

“You get next round.” She said to Ian pointing both of her index figures with a tilt of her head. She came to the table smiling and picked up her beer and chugged it. 

“Shots?” she said then it came away from her mouth.

“Yeeep.” Mickey said. Ian saw Mickey rub a hand over his head and headed to the bar to get lots of whiskey.


	6. Chapter 6

They slammed the glasses on the table and Ian hissed. That was round three and he felt the warmth of the whiskey move through him.

He blinked open his eyes and sat back.

“Whoooo.” Heidi said and picked up her beer to chase it. She was a little glassy eyed but she was no light weight despite her height. 

She brought the beer down and said,

“This is good. Beer, whiskey and the best looking guys in the joint.” 

Ian looked around, there was slim pickings on the good looking front but if it made her happy that was ok with him. He had met her here, Mickey had texted him to meet him there after work. He had walked in and Mickey had his arm around her sitting in a booth. His eyes had widened and he had walked over and stood in front of them. They had both been smiling and he was hit with two beautiful faces looking up at him.

“Uh hi.” He had said.

“This is him?” Heidi had asked.

“This is him” Mickey said and smiled.

Heidi had pushed at Mickey and he was shoved out of the booth in one push. Ian had been pushed back when she had jumped up to hug him. He laughed despite himself and she had held his waist and looked up at him.

“Wow.” She said. “You’re gorgeous!”

“So are you.” He said. 

Ian had looked at Mickey and he was sitting back with a big grin holding out his arm and said,

“This is Heidi.”

“Hey.” He said to her and she dragged him by the hand into the booth across from Mickey, she was a tiny powerhouse. He settled in the booth and she was still holding his hand on the table. 

“So, Mike tells me you’ve been married 6 months.”

“Uh ya.” He said and grabbed Mickeys beer. He gave Mickey a ‘what is happening look’ and he just smiled and crossed his arms. Heidi was looking back and forth between them.

“Jesus.” She said and slammed her hand on the table, Ian was so startled he nearly spit out his beer.

“What?” He said.

“All the gorgeous ones are gay damn it.” She said and crossed her arms and pouted sitting back against the booth.

Mickey lifted his eyebrows at him.

“Why were you…ya know” he asked and held his arm out.

“Oh!” Heidi said. “Some douche bags were creeping around me, and Mike was nice enough to play ‘mean boyfriend.’” She said and put her hands under her chin looking at Mickey with a sweet smile.

“Ya, he’s good at that.” He said and smiled at Mickey. 

Mickey scowled at him and stood up to get another round.

“He’s great.” She said.

“Ya, he is.” He said. “I’m surprised though.” 

“Why?” she asked.

“He doesn’t really go around telling people his business.” 

“Well, I asked him if he wanted to go for a beer after he helped me out with the ledgers.” She put her head back and held her arms out. “HELL” she said. 

Ian laughed at the look of terror on her face and she went on.

“It was really cute, he went all quiet and I said ‘Oh honey I know you’re married.’ the tattoo right?” 

Ian nodded. 

“So he kind of relaxed and I said ‘Bring her along’ and he said ‘Not a her.’ with a smile and I got it. Can’t say I wasn’t surprised and you, you’re like….all GQ and he’s all….hot and tough.” She let out a long sigh. “Damn it.”

Ian laughed and she waved her hands around and said, “Anyway.”

“How’d you meet?” she blurted out. Ian was saved from answering by Mickey putting the beers on the table but Heidi wasn’t letting it go, she stared at him waiting. Ian looked up at Mickey and he saw the panic in his eyes. 

“What’s that?” Mickey asked Heidi with a smile as he sat down.

“I asked how you met.” 

Without missing a beat Mickey said. “Online dating.” and took a swig from his beer.

 

Heidi was telling Ian about him helping her today, to hear her tell it he had saved her from a stampeding herd of elephants.

“…and he just sat down and wrote it out. WROTE IT OUT!” She said with a shake of her head and her eyes closed. 

Ian smiled and looked at him but he wasn’t smiling. He looked down and held his whiskey glass with two fingers and swirled it around.

“Hey Heidi.” He said quietly.

“Ya.” she said and turned her bright eyes on him.

“We need to go away for a while.” He said and he saw Ian put his arm on her chair behind her.

She tilted her head and said “Huh.”

“We have to leave in a couple of days ….” Ian trailed off.

“Like a trip?” she asked.

“No.” Mickey said. Ian turned away from them.

Mickey took a breath and said. “We have some family stuff to take care of.”

“Oh.” She said. She looked at him with love and worry in her eyes and it nearly did him in.

He looked at Ian biting his lip hard and sat back. 

“Listen, we have to go and we’re not sure if we’re coming back.” Ian said. 

“What?” She said quietly.

Ian let out a breath and dropped his head. 

“You’re leaving?” she said.

Mickey nodded.

She sat back and looked back and forth between them and sniffed. Mickey felt his heart kick at him. 

‘Fucking fuck’ he thought.

“Hey, we’re not going to the moon.” He said.

She turned to him with hurt in her eyes and he let out a short breath. He reached out his hand to hers on the table. 

“You’re not getting rid of us that easy.” Ian said and gave her a bright smile. She turned her hand in Mickey’s and held it, she sniffed and smiled at him.

“Come on you’re gonna mess up your eye gunk” Mickey said.

She let out a little laugh and he sat back and she rubbed her fingers under her eyes.

“Well fuck.” She said. “You better fucking call me a lot.” Ian nodded and sniffed. 

“And you better write that shit down for me” she said to Mickey and squeezed his hand.

“Ya I will.” he said with a smile. 

She let out a breath and said, 

“I need more alcohol for this” she said hopping off her stool. Mickey watched her stomp over to the bar and said,

“Ya, that’s a good idea.”

 

She was a little sad after they told her but she was a trooper. She challenged Mickey to a game of pool and he figured he’d let her win to cheer her up.

She broke and he picked out a cue and saw the balls crash around the table.

“Shit.” he said and heard Ian laugh. Ian was at the table looking more than a little drunk. 

“Hey, she kicked your ass!” He said with a nod and a smirk. 

Ian stood up and braced his arm on the chair. Mickey took three quick steps to him but Ian put his hand up and smiled like he had done something amazing by standing. Mickey chuckled and said,

“You alright there?”

“Ohh yeah.” He held Mickey’s arm to hold himself up and Mickey brought his hand up to his to balance him. 

“Where ya goin?” he asked as they swayed. 

“Bathroom.” Ian said brightly bringing his arm around his shoulder. 

“Hmm, you gonna make it?” Mickey asked and smiled at Ian’s glassy eyes and relaxed face. 

Ian cocked his head and said. ”Think so.” 

He looked over the pool table and didn’t move. Mickey held onto him and said,

“Hey.”

“Ya.” Ian said.

“Bathroom?” Mickey said.

Ian laughed and nodded, he walked around Mickey and he watched him until he pushed open the bathroom door. 

He brought his eyes back to the table and wished he hadn’t, she was on her forth shot. He shook his head and held the cue up in front of him.

“Hey.” He heard through the background noise but no one was going to be talking to him and he ignored it. 

“Hey Mike.” He heard and looked toward the voice, he saw the same guys who were leaning against the trailer today sitting at the bar facing him.

He nodded at them and looked back at Heidi as she sank another ball. He threw up a hand and shifted his weight onto the other foot. 

"Heard Heidi today, bring your gorgeous man?!" He said with a shake of his head. “So, you're a faggot?.” He said. 

He lifted his gaze toward them and they were both smirking. 

“Cracked that little code did ya?” He said in a low voice and his hands gripped tighter around the pool cue. 

He picked up his beer from the table and took a swig. He put it down hard and licked his lips and looked back over at the table but watched them out of the corner of his eye.

Heidi came back around the front of the table and the big sweaty one called out,

“Hey sweetie whatcha doin’ with a couple fags, come on over here and talk to some real men.” 

Mickey’s lips came back into a cold smile and he shifted the cue to his side and he stepped forward, Heidi narrowed her eyes and cocked a hip. 

“Fucking women doesn’t make you a man, and from what you’re wife says you can’t do that anyway.” She said in a steel tone. The guys at the bars laughed and he slid off the stool, his little friend stood up with him. 

“You little bitch.” He sneered.

Mickey stepped in front of Heidi and cocked his head with a deadly smile, he braced on his legs and held the cue lightly at his side. They both of them stepped up to him. 

“What are you gonna do fag?" The sweaty guy said. 

“Ohhh shit” he heard and he felt Ian come up beside him.

“Two fags.” The little one said laughing. 

Mickey turned his head to Ian raising his eyebrows and Ian smiled at him narrowing his eyes.

Mickey smiled and turned back to them. 

“What are two fags gonna do?” he asked and swung the cue at his legs as Ian punched the little one and he went down. Sweaty guy went down hard and Mickey brought the cue down onto his side. 

“That’s what!” he said with a cock of his head. Ian held the little one on the floor punching him in the face. 

Mickey twirled the cue stick and brought it back down over his knees. Ian looked up and said,

“Nice.”

“Thanks.” Mickey said with a smile and kicked the sweaty guy in the gut, he grunted and curled up on the floor. 

Ian stood up over the little one and fell back a step, Mickey dropped the cue and caught him. 

“Let’s go.” He said to Heidi but she already had her purse. He walked behind Ian and guided him out the door. 

 

Mickey unlocked the door and held Ian up against the railing, the lock clicked and he opened the door. He stepped back and brought Ian up by his waist.

“Hi.” Ian said.

“Hi.” Mickey said and turned him toward the door. “Step up.” He said and Ian stepped up over the door jam. He guided him in through the kitchen and into the bedroom. 

“Hey that’s our bed.” Ian said. 

“Yep.” He said.

Mickey pushed him onto the bed and he bounced onto it. He closed his eyes and sighed as Mickey pulled off his sneakers, Ian wiggled his toes and Mickey smiled, shit he was a funny drunk. He climbed up over him and grabbed his arm and turned him over onto his back, his eyes popped open.

“Heeey.” Ian said. 

“Hey.” 

“Whatchadoin?” Ian asked.

“Baking a cake, what do you think I’m doin?" He said smiling down at Ian.

“HA.” Ian said and brought his hand up and smacked his shoulder. Mickey lifted his shirt and Ian flopped his arms up above his head.

He pulled his shirt over his head and Ian watched him unbutton his jeans and he pulled them down, Ian smiled and wiggled his eyebrows drunkenly. Mickey shook his head and scoffed out a laugh dropping his jeans to the floor.

“Better.” Ian said.

Mickey undressed himself and saw Ian was watching him. 

“What?” he said with a laugh.

“You take such good care of me.” Ian said.

Ian was also very mushy when he was drunk.

“Oh ya?” Mickey said with a bright smile.

Ian nodded slowly. Mickey climbed back on the bed and pulled Ian up onto the pillow, he brought the blankets up over them and Ian’s eyes were on him. Mickey held his waist and looked into his big gorgeous drunk eyes.

“Remember the Motel.” Ian whispered. 

Mickey nodded and moved his hand over Ian’s skin. Mickey knew why he was whispering, the Motel was a ‘secret’ and in his drunken mind a secret was whispered. 

“We should go back there.” Ian whispered.

“Yeah we should.” Mickey whispered back.

“We should get married again when we go home” Ian said not whispering anymore.

Mickey laughed, “We should?”

Ian nodded.

“Why?” Mickey asked.

“Cuz I want my family to be there and it’ll be nice.” He said his eyes drooping.

Mickey smiled at him and Ian brought his hand up to his on the bed and covered it.

Ian smiled drunkenly at him and his eyes started to close.

“Hey.” Mickey whispered.

“What?” Ian whispered

“I love you.” He whispered.

The corners of Ian’s lips turned up. “I love you too” he whispered back.

 

Mickey came awake slowly taking his hand gently out from under Ian’s and sat up on the edge of the bed. His head pounded with the motion and he brought his hand up and rubbed his face. He glanced at the clock. 9:40 it read. ‘Shit.’ he thought. They never slept that late even on a Saturday. He grabbed a smoke out of the open pack on the nightstand and brought it up to his teeth, he lit it and took a deep drag. 

He hadn’t been as drunk as Ian but he had been feeling pretty good. He smiled and thought about Ian punching that guy square in the nose even as drunk as he was. Ian had closed one eye and swung out hard, but he had hit his target. He had knelt over the guy with a big smile and a low laugh as he pounded him into the floor. He turned his head around and Ian was sprawled out over most of the bed with one arm stretched out over his head, he looked like a sleeping puppy now he thought and smiled. He stood up and headed toward the bathroom smiling down at his big tough puppy.

 

Mickey was pouring coffee in a mug when he heard the chime of the doorbell. 

“What the fuck.” He said and looked at the clock over the sink. 10:30. 

It was Frick, he had forgotten he had said he would be there this morning. He drank his coffee and walked toward the door. He looked through the peep hole and saw Frick through it looking around. 

He unlocked the door and let it swing open as he turned away and headed back toward the kitchen. He heard the door close and Frick said,

“Morning.” 

Mickey nodded his head and pointed a thumb at the coffeemaker. Frack went to the kitchen and put down a large manila envelope he had been carrying on the counter and opened a cabinet over the coffeemaker and pulled out a mug. He held it as poured coffee into it. 

“Where’s Ian.” He asked.

“Still sleepin’” he said. 

“That’s good I wanted to talk to you.” He said taking a drink from the mug.

Mickey leaned back against the counter.

Frick held his coffee in both hands and gave him a hard look.

“I wouldn’t let you go if I wasn’t sure.” He said.

Mickey saw the sincerity in his gaze and he brought the coffee up and drank.

“If I thought for one second there was still a credible threat, I’d keep you here.” He said and put his hand on his hip.

Mickey saw him bit his lip and nodded into his coffee. 

“I know you wouldn’t let anything happen to Ian.” He said as he brought the cup down and put it behind him onto the counter.

Frick widened his eyes and glared at him. 

“Or you either shithead.” He said.

Mickey crossed his arms and stuck his chin out. 

“Hmph.” He grunted and shifted against the counter.

Frick let out a huff, “Jesus.” He said in a low mutter. 

“Hey whatever man, as long as you’re sure we’re good to go, I’ll go.” and shrugged his shoulders.

Frack gave him another hard look and nodded. He brought his coffee up and drank.

Mickey looked down at the floor and thought about drunken Ian last night. 

“There is one thing I need though.” Mickey said and Frick looked over his coffee at him in surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

Frick walked through the door and turned back to him. 

“I’ll be seeing you.” He said with a smile as he walked to his big black SUV. Mickey heard a car and looked over to see Heidi’s little red sports car come up and stop next to the truck. Mickey saw Heidi look up and at Frack as he moved around the front end of the truck.

“Fuck.” he said. Frack opened the door and hopped in. He closed the door with a slam and Mickey saw the back of Heidi’s head as she watched him drive away.

She turned to him with a look of surprise and concern.

He waved at her and thought ‘All kinds of fucking company at the break of dawn.' But Heidi wasn’t really ‘company’, she was family and he smiled as she shoved the car door open and called out.

“What the fuck?” She stood up straight staring at him.

He shrugged his shoulders and said. “Nothin’” and shoved his hands in his pockets. She squinted her eyes and he saw she wasn’t going to let this one go. She leaned back in the car and brought out a big pink box.

“Oww, whatcha got?” he asked lightly.

“Nothin’ for you if you don’t tell me what that cop was doing here.” She said stomping up the steps and glaring into his eyes.

He smiled and tilted his head. “Cop?” he said with a twist of his face.

“Ya, OK.” She said and pushed past him into the house.

'She’s been hanging out with us too long’ he thought as he followed her. 

She dropped the box on the counter and opened the same cabinet as Frick and brought out a mug as big as her head. It said FUCKING COFFEE in big black letters, she had given it to Ian as a gift last Christmas. 

“Leave some of that.” He said with a smile.

“I’ll make more.” She said and dumped the rest into the mug. She opened a cabinet and brought down a bag of coffee. 

“Where’s E?” she asked and dumped the grounds into the coffeemaker.

“Sleepin, he was trashed man.” He said with a laugh.

“Yeah he was.” She said nodding and moved to the sink to fill the pot with water. 

‘E’ was Ian now. He had adjusted pretty easily to everything except calling Ian by the name they had given him at first. He couldn’t call him ‘Richard’ or ‘Rick’ or whatever. He wasn’t fucking Rick, he didn’t even look like a Richard. He would start to say Ian and stop after the first syllable. It was a long E, and Frick had changed his first name to Elias, shortened to ‘E’ as a nickname. He didn’t think it would work but no one batted and eyelash when Ian introduced himself as “Elias or just E.” And pretty soon everyone called him ‘E’. He liked at least saying half his real name when they were out together. Ian called him Mike easily because it was his name in Ukranian and it was still him. 

He leaned over the counter and took his mug in his hand and heard the coffee maker hiss as she poured water in. He brought the box over with one hand and saw pastries through the plastic. 

“Hey!” she said and pulled it away and held it away from her body. 

“Spill.” She said. 

Mickey shifted and straightened up. He huffed out a breath and said.

“He’s a..friend.” He said finally with a firm voice. Her eyes changed and she stared hard at him.

“You’re friends with a cop?!” she said in disbelief.

“Sorta.” He said and shrugged. “Well E is.” He said.

She brought the box down and opened it still looking at him with a steady gaze.

“E is.” She said with and twisted her mouth to one side and her gaze finally left his as she looked down at the box. 

He let out the breath was holding and leaned back down. He poked at the cover of the box and pushed it down.

“MMM suga” he said licking his top lip and grabbed up the top pastry and shoved it into his mouth. It was a sugary buttery mix of heaven and he chewed the big bite and closed his eyes. 

“Oh ya.” he said around it and opened his eyes and Heidi was leaning toward him biting into her own pastry. He took a drink of coffee and smiled as she chomped her teeth over half of it. 

“Gongowkuep” she said around her pasty.

“What was that?” he asked with a quick smile. She chewed her big bite and swallowed.

“Gonna go wake E up.” She said and turned toward the bedroom. Mickey looked up at the clock. 11:15.

“Ya, go jump on the bed and wake his lazy ass up.” He said and bit his mouth around the pastry and rolled his eyes closed.

 

He heard them giggling as he washed down the last of the pastry with his coffee and headed toward the bedroom. He came around the corner and saw Heidi curled up next to Ian on her stomach and his arm was across her back. He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms giving them a stern look.

“Hey!” he said.

“Uh mine?” he said and brought his left hand up in front of him to flash his ring at them. 

They giggled and ignored him. 

“You ever gettin’ up sleeping beauty?” he asked .

Ian let out a hum and rolled onto his back bringing his hand over his face.

“No.” he said. His face twisted up and he dropped his hand to his chest.

“Did we get in a fight?” Ian asked with his eyes closed.

“Well less of a fight and more of a beat down.” He said with a wicked smile. 

Ian blinked his eyes open and they squinted.

“Ahhh.” He said. “That hurts.” 

“I bet.” Mickey said. 

“Shit.” Ian said.

“Come on.” Heidi said sitting back on her legs. “I brought pastries!” she said with a happy tone.

Ian opened his eyes. “From Emily’s?” he asked.

She nodded her head and murmured. “Uhm hmm.”

Mickey saw Ian’s face spread into a sweet smile and move his hand to her leg. He smiled pushing himself off the door jamb and turned back toward the kitchen. 

Mickey opened the cabinet and took out a mug for Ian and poured coffee into it, he set it down at the end of the counter. He opened the fridge and grabbed up the eggs and butter and kicked it closed. He was bent over to get the frying pan as he heard Ian shuffle in with a moan.

“Fucking coffee.” He said and picked up the mug and took a long drink. Mickey put the pan on the burner and turned it on. Ian shuffled to the table and sat down. Heidi had the box of pastries already at the table and Ian shoved one in his mouth and groaned. 

He laughed watching him chew with his eyes closed. 

 

Ian’s brain was moving almost as slow as his body, he swallowed and took another bite. He heard Mickey banging around at the stove and blinked his eyes open. He picked up his mug and drank.

“Ahhh.” He let out and saw Heidi eating with gusto. 

“Morning.” He said.

“Morning.” She said with a laugh.

“Almost afternoon.” Mickey said.

Ian turned to him, he was at the stove pushing around eggs with a wooden spoon. 

“Shit I was tired.” he said.

“No, you were trashed man.” Mickey said and lifted his eyes up to his. He smiled at the look on Mickey’s face, his eyes were clear and bright. Ian felt his chest fill with pressure and felt the smile drop from his face and he looked down at his coffee as he remembered Big had come and told them they were going home. 

“You should have seen you two.” Heidi said laughing.

Ian looked up and scoffed.

“Man those assholes didn’t know what hit em.”

“A fuckin’ pool cue that’s what.” Mickey said as he brought down plates to the counter. 

“Ya, I kinda remember.” He said. It was fuzzy but he had seen Mickey braced on his legs and even in his drunken haze knew something was happening. He had heard the word ‘fags’ and then slamming his fist into an ugly face.

“Even drunk off your nuts you kicked his ass.” Mickey laughed as he brought two plates over. He dropped the forks down and reached back for his own plate and sat with a smile on his face.

Ian was sure they were not supposed to fight. It brought attention to them and if the cops were called forget it, they would have to move. But oh wait…they didn’t have to move they were going home, or could they?

‘Oh it hurts to think’ he thought. He picked up his fork and looked back and forth between Mickey and Heidi, and two gorgeous food filled smiles were beaming at him.

He blinked and thought they were way too pretty and too happy for this early in the morning and ate his eggs.

 

Heidi sat with her two favorite people in the world and finished her eggs Mike had made for them. She stood up lifting Mike’s empty plate and stepped around his chair and headed for the sink. She loved them both so much she thought and hated the fact they were moving away. She had very little family and they weren’t close and these two tough sweet guys had become like brothers to her. 

She heard E laugh and smiled to herself as she rinsed off the dishes. They were crazy about each other, she saw it the minute she had met E and Mike had looked at him like he was the only person in the world he wanted to look at. She sighed and thought if a man loved her half as much as Mike loved E, she’d be a very lucky woman. Around the guys at work he had this armor up and didn’t say much, but when it was just the three of them Mike was sweet and loving with E, always touching him in some way. E was always watching Mike, like he thought he’d disappear if he looked away long enough and had this look in his eyes when he looked at him like a kid with his first crush, it was freaking adorable. 

“Straight down to the floor, WHAM.” Mike said behind her and she heard E chuckle. He was relaying what E may have missed the night before in his drunken stupor. She dried her hands and grabbed the coffee pot heading back to the table and said,

“Like a rock.” E smiled up at her and she poured more coffee into their cups and walked around E and curled her leg under her as she sat down bringing the coffee pot down to the table.

“Man I’m full.” Mike said sitting back and rubbed his hand over his belly. 

“Oh my gosh me too.” She said and dropped her head over her hands resting it on her chin. 

“Oh hey.” She said to E. “Who’s the cop friend?” E’s eyes went blank and he put his fork down slowly.

She turned her head on her hands and looked at Mike, he was looking at E as he picked up his pack of cigarettes and took one out. She glanced back at E and he was looking at her with concern she didn’t quite understand. They had been looking at her like that last night but she figured it was because they had to tell her they were moving.

“He’s a friend from home.” E said in a low voice. 

“Oh hmm.” She said and sat back. “Friends with a cop?” she said teasing and E smiled and nodded. Mike hissed out smoke and flicked his cigarette. She reached over and took up the pack and upended it and took one out, Mike handed her the lighter and she lit her smoke. Mickey held his cigarette out without looking and E took it. ‘They’re so cute.” she thought and took a drag of her stolen cigarette.

“Thanks for breakfast.” She said.

“Thanks for the sugar rush.” E said and picked up his plate standing. He was shirtless and wearing only baggy sweatpants, she watched his gorgeous body rise up from the table. Yeah they were gay but that didn’t mean she couldn’t look! She thought. They were both amazingly gorgeous in their own way and she looked A LOT. 

Her eyes were still on him when he turned toward the kitchen. 

“When are you going to get that tattoo fixed?.” She asked casually. The tattoo on his back said Mickey and she had asked about it last summer when E had been wearing a tank top. It peaked out enough for her to see the ‘EY’ and she had tugged his shirt over with one finger and said,

“Who’s Mickey?” 

E had looked back at her over his shoulder and said,

“My asshole boyfriend when I was a kid.” with a smile. She had heard Mickey scoff and she looked over and he was glaring at Ian with his bottom lip between his teeth. Mike had cocked his head at him and E had laughed with a wicked smile. 

E said the plan was to get it removed sometime but she still saw it every time she saw E’s gorgeous naked back. 

E stood at the sink and shrugged a shoulder up as he turned on the water and rinsed his plate. Mike was looking down to his hands and he shifted his jaw and twisted his mouth up.

“He doesn’t have to.” He said and his eyes came up to hers as he took a drag of his cigarette. 

“Huh?” she said. E turned off the tap and set the plate in the sink.

“He doesn’t have to get it removed, it’s my name” Mike said as he let out smoke turning his head but didn’t take his eyes off of her.

“Mick!” E shot out. 

‘Mick?’ ‘Who the fuck is this Mick?’ she thought and looked at E, he was staring bullets at Mike. He turned his head to E and held his hand out to him. 

“I asked him.” He said. “He said it was OK.” He said in a soft voice looking at E with love in his eyes. 

E looked back into Mike’s eyes and Heidi saw love and worry in them, he brought his eyes to hers and nodded. He came around the counter and sat down pulling his chair under him.

“I’m Mickey.” Mike said. She tilted her head to the side. 

“What?” she said.

He took a deep drag and handed it to E.

“I’m Mickey.” He said again. She looked back and forth to each of them and they were both looking at her very strangely.

“What, like a nickname?” she asked and crushed out her cigarette. 

“No my name is Mikhailo, my nickname is Mickey.”

“O….K?” She said and felt a bubble of panic rise in her gut. 

“Sooo why didn’t you just say that before?” She asked. 

E took a deep breath and said “We couldn’t, I’m sorry but we lied to you.”

She felt the sting of hearing him say that and pushed it away.

“You lied about his name?” She asked her eyes sharp.

“Mine too.” He said. “My name is Ian.” He said with a long breath.

“Ian.” She said. She looked at Mike and back at E. 

“You’re fucking with me.” She said and let out a nervous laugh.

Mike shook his head biting his lip and looked at E putting his hands up.

“Heidi.” E started and she sat back at his tone. 

“What?” she said defensively. 

“Mickey,” he started and motioned to Mike “Got into some trouble a few years ago and we had to….”

“Get away.” Mike finished and looked at her.

“Yeah, we had to get away.” She was hearing what he was saying but it wasn’t making sense.

“So we changed our names and moved here.” He finished and picked up the pack of cigarettes and lit another one. 

Mickey crushed out the one in his hand and looked over at her. She saw in his eyes they weren’t fucking with her and it started to sink in. 

She sat there not moving a muscle. She felt like they had betrayed her, her brothers. Her heart hurt and she felt the tears fill her eyes as she looked down at the table.

She heard Mike take in a breath and hissed it out bringing his arm to the table with a shove.

“Fuck. Ian!” He said.

She looked up at Mike calling E ‘Ian’. E took a breath at the searing look she gave him. 

“I know you’re pissed but please just listen and if you want to leave you can, but I hope you don’t.” She didn’t move but continued to stare at him.

E shook his head and brought a hand up trying to clear it.

“Ok, Mickey went to prison… “she shot a look at Mike and lifted his hand up and tilted his head down in a nod.

She listened quietly as E told her about them running away to Mexico and Mike going to the Feds. He told her ‘Mickey’ was dead as far as the rest of the world knew and they had gone into witness protection together. 

When he stopped talking she stayed silent. Mike was fiddling with the cigarette pack and looking down at it with his eyes narrowed and a scowl on his face and her heart melted a little. 

E was looking at her with sadness in his eyes and she felt her heart melt a little more.

“Ian.” She said. He nodded and his lips turned up at the corners. 

“You kinda look like an Ian.” She said quietly and he smiled brightly at her. 

“You still look like a Mike.” She said to Mickey.

“You can call me whatever you want darlin’” he said with his quick devilish smile. She felt the tears well up again and pushed at them with the palm of her hand. 

“Jesus.” She burst out. "Are you really gay?” she said and waved her hand up.

“Yes.” Ian said with a loud laugh and Mike nodded his head with a chuckle. 

She sputtered and brought her hand down.

“I have questions, lots and lots of questions.” She said and looked at each of them, Mike/Mickey was smiling his goofy smile and E/Ian was tilting his head at her with happiness bouncing off of him. 

‘Jesus I love them’ she thought. ‘No matter what their fucking names are.’ 

“Where’s the whiskey Mickey” She said giving him a big smile, he slipped his tongue out of his mouth and hopped up to his feet to get it. 

 

“He’s the asshole boyfriend?” she asked in disbelief and she shoved herself back laughing. 

“Whatever.” Mickey said and lifted the whiskey bottle. Heidi laughed with Ian and put her hand over his. 

“Sorry Mike, uh Mick.” She said and giggled. They had passed the whiskey bottle around when she started asking questions and she had lots. 

“You’re married though right?”

“What’d you go to jail for?” The look on her face when he answered that one was fucking hilarious.

“So you didn’t meet through online dating.” He got a punch in the arm for that one. 

“You left your family?” she had said with a soft tone and Ian had nodded his head.

“But you can see them now, right?" He smiled and said “Yeah.”

“What about you?” she asked.

He nodded and thought about Mandy, seeing her again was going to be rough. 

“She’ll kill us both.” Mickey said. "I’m gonna be really dead, not this fake shit.” 

They all laughed and Ian passed the bottle to Heidi.

“What’s your last name?” Heidi said.

“Mine is Gallagher and his is Milkovich.” Ian said.

“You don’t have the same last name?” 

“No, we're fine with our names.” Ian said. They had both taken Phillips for Westford and he had been really touched by the idea. 

“Chicago isn’t that far.” Heidi said.

“You can visit whenever you want.” Ian said. “And meet my crazy family.” He said with a toothy grin. Heidi smiled and tipped the bottle back.

‘She took it really well.’ he thought and felt relief and his heart had stopped aching as soon as she said Ian’s name. He didn’t like most people, that was Ian’s thing but she was different. She had wormed her way into his heart with her sweetness and big personality. 

Ian cocked his head up and lifted a finger shoving back the chair and stood up.

“Where you goin’?" He asked with a grin.

He heard him walk to the bedroom and he took the bottle from Heidi. he heard Ian talking but couldn’t hear what he was saying. 

“WHAT?” he said with his eyes going back and forth and his head tilting, trying to look like he was listening intently. Heidi giggled at his face and he heard him coming back.

“I said, I have some old pictures in here.” He said and put a shoe box on the table between them. 

Heidi clapped her hands quickly and sat forward. Mickey took a drink of whiskey, he had no idea what was in the box.

Ian dropped the top and smiled lifting the top picture and handed it to Heidi, her eyes lit up and she took it sitting back in her chair. 

“Wow.” She said. 

He looked at Ian and he was smiling at Heidi, he saw on his face how happy he was she knew and that they didn't have to lie to her anymore. 

“Hmph?” he grunted around the bottle and Heidi handed it to him. He looked down and felt his heart kick in his chest and his mouth widen into a huge smile. It was him and Ian leaning against the fence in front of his house and they were young, really young. 

“I don’t remember this.” He said sitting back and biting his lip.

“Mandy took it.” Ian said. 

They both had their arms crossed and looked like thugs. Mickey had a beer in one hand with a brown paper bag around it in his hand and he had a scowl on his face, but his eyes focused on Ian. 

“Wow is fucking right” he said. He looked at 16 year old Ian, he had a half smile and his head was tilted with one eyebrow up. He had on jeans and a tank top he remembered and his leg was against the fence behind him. 

“You were gorgeous even then.” Heidi said. He looked up from the picture and Heidi was holding a stack in her hands.

“Where’d you get these?” he asked Ian. 

“I’ve had these forever.” He said holding a few in his hand that were obviously older. 

“There are some I printed from my old phone before I tossed it.” He said. He picked up a picture and sat back, Mickey saw the hurt in his eyes and looked down at the picture he saw Ian and Lip flipping off the camera at their kitchen table. He put his hand on his arm and gave his arm a squeeze. 

Ian brought his eyes up and Mickey leaned over and kissed him bringing his hand up to his jaw and felt the relief Ian was feeling at this whole thing being over. He stroked his face and pulled away, he smiled into Ian’s eyes and Ian held his wrist. 

“Holy shit!” Heidi said.

They turned to her and she was a staring down at a picture with her mouth open. She fanned herself with it and gave Mickey a long look. 

“Whoa.” Heidi said and Ian reached over for it. 

“Mmmm.” Ian murmured and held it in front of them, it was him lying on his bed with no shirt on, he had a cigarette in his hand and he was looking at the camera with half lidded eyes and his front teeth were over his lower lip. Lust and want poured out of his eyes and something else he didn’t realize at the time. Ian smiled holding it out, he took the picture in his fingers and held it in front of him, this one he remembered. It was the night Ian had stayed at his house and not the foster dump. Ian had bought one of those disposable cameras and he had snapped a picture of him on the couch but this was later. 

They had moved into his bedroom kissing, it was different for them to kiss and he had felt a million new emotions as their mouths had moved together. He remembered Ian undressing him and their hands moving over each other's bodies needing to touch. It had been the first time it wasn’t about just banging and Mickey had realized he could show Ian how he felt even though he couldn’t understand it. They had wrapped themselves up in his twin bed after slow amazing sex and he moved his hand all over Ian’s skin for what felt like the first time. Ian was looking into his eyes and he had brought his hand over his neck to his jaw looking back into Ian’s eyes without any fear. 

Ian had stood up and reached into his bag, Mickey had shifted onto his back reaching for a cigarette and lit it as Ian came back to the bed and straddled him over the sheets that were at his waist. Ian smiled down at him and Mickey had looked up at him as Ian brought the camera up and snapped the picture, he had lowered the camera and leaned over him bringing his lips down to his for a slow hot kiss. 

“I didn’t know you still had this.” He said. 

“It’s my favorite” Ian said and slid his hand over his and eased the picture out, he looked down at it and Mickey saw his eyes go soft. 

“Awww.” Heidi said. She was looking back and forth between them and Ian smiled over at her.

Ian picked up another. “Same night.” He said. 

He saw himself with his head and shoulders against the arm rest of the couch and he could see Ian’s legs in the picture tangled with his as they faced each other on the couch. He had a smile on his face and thought he may have been laughing when Ian took it. He focused on his eyes in the picture and he could see it there, it was the same look but not as intense as in the other picture. Jesus he looked happy. 

“Cute baby.” Heidi said and flipped a picture toward them. Ian was holding Yev and smiling into the camera. Ian held his hand out and took it. 

Heidi turned over pictures and asked “Who’s this?” 

“Mandy, sister” he said and saw his sister looking into the camera with a smirk. He held out his hand and Heidi handed it to him. 

“She’s so pretty.” He nodded and looked down at her. Man he missed her and they were going to have to work out the best way to approach her. 

“Is the baby hers?” 

Mickey shook his head. “He’s mine.”

“YOURS?” she yelled out. Ian laughed and sifted through pictures and said, “Ah” and held it out to her. 

Mickey leaned over and saw Ian sitting on the floor in front of a dinky Christmas tree, and Mickey had Yev on his lap and he had his face next to his smiling into the camera.

“You have a baby?” 

“Not a baby anymore. “ He said and took a hit of whiskey. He got updates from Frick about Yev, and he was doing good. He sent money through Frick to Svetlana but she thought it was some kind of insurance thing. 

“How do you have a baby?”

He scowled “The usual way.” He said and took a long drink. Ian held out a picture to Heidi and she took it. Mickey eyes moved over the pictures Heidi had put down after looking at them, he saw Lip and Fiona and others but his eyes focused on a yellowish pink one at the edge and reached over slid it out from under the others, it was the sunrise picture. He moved it across the table and brought it up in his hand. 

“Wow you were so YOUNG.” Heidi said. She handed Mickey a picture and his head went back, it was Mandy in the picture but in the background you could see Ian and Mickey sitting back on the couch and Ian had a video controller in his hand. Ian looked 12 and he looked 25 he thought with a laugh. 

“Where’d you get this?” he asked.

“Stole it from Mandy’s phone.” He said. Heidi laughed and brought a picture close to her face. 

“F.U.C…what does that say.” She pointed at a picture. 

“He had tattoos across his fingers.” He said.

“Hurt like a motherfucker gettin’ them off.” He said wiggling his fingers.

“Fuck you up? Heidi said as it came together in her head

Mick nodded and started to feel his face go hot. She laughed long and hard.

“This is amazing.” She said looking around at the pictures.

“So you broke up and had a baby?” She asked.

She saw Ian glance at Mickey and he was staring down at the bottle in his hand, he lifted it and took a drink with a cold look on his face.

“Why?” she asked quietly

“My dad.” He said and glanced at her at her titling his head and shrugged. Ian squeezed his hand and Mickey nodded while he lit a cigarette.

She saw something really bad on Mickey’s face, he wiped his hand over his mouth and sat back fiddling with his cigarette. Her eyes were blurring and it wasn’t just the alcohol. 

“Oh my gosh.” She whispered and looked at Ian. He was looking at Mickey with love all over his face but there was darkness there as well.

Mickey opened his mouth to speak and twisted his mouth up looking away. He pulled his hand away from Ian’s and brought it to his lap around the bottle. 

Everything that had happened then came back to Mickey, between the alcohol and the pictures of them before when they were pretty fucking wild brought the fucked up memories of what happened and what they did to each other. The image of Ian on the ground and he could still hear him let out a grunt of pain, he shook his head and his jaw came out. He looked down at the bottle and remembered how dark everything had been when Ian had left for the Army. 

“We got back together though” Ian said and he lifted his eyes. 

“Beat the shit out of him too.” Ian said with a smile. 

Mickey looked back down at the bottle and nodded. 

“I hope he’s fucking burning in hell right now.” Mickey said and lifted the bottle up to toast with a cold smile, he took a long drink and handed it to Ian, he took a drink with his eyes on his. Heidi put her hand to Ian and Mickey saw her eyes glisten as she drank to his father burning for all eternity.


	8. Chapter 8

Heidi could not drive and after more questions and more laughing she had put up a hand to her head and said, “I need a nap.”

She had stumbled to the couch and dove onto it. Her legs hung over the edge and Ian got her a pillow and blanket from the bedroom. She lifted her head and stuck the pillow under it and laid her head back down gently. He covered her and tucked the blanket around her and she mumbled something.

“What?” He said quietly.

“Love you Ian.” She said. He straightened and felt his eyes sting, the only person who had said I love you with his real name for the past two years was Mickey. He moved his hand over her head and said.

“I love you too.” And she wiggled into the couch and let out a sigh. 

He turned toward the kitchen and Mickey was turned toward them with his hand slung over the back of the chair. He stood up and walked to him with his hands up and they went around his waist and Mickey bit his lip and looked into his eyes. Ian smiled and grabbed his hand and they turned together toward their bedroom. 

 

Mickey brought his mouth to Ian’s and held his face as their lips came together in a deep slow kiss, he moved his hands over his waist and back. He felt Ian’s hand on his skin and he let out a slow breath, the kiss deepened and Ian lifted his hands over his back bringing his shirt up. Mickey lifted his arms and Ian pulled it over his head, he moved his hands over his sides and brought his mouth back down to his. They moved toward the bed touching each other slowly. Ian brought his hands to Mickey’s jeans and unbuttoned them and slid his hands over his hips under his jeans and Mickey felt them fall. Mickey pulled his mouth away and moved his mouth over Ian’s neck and moved his hands over his back. 

“I love you.” Mickey said. He felt his skin over his back and sides and his hands move over his hips under his sweatpants and they fell to the floor. Ian brought Mickey’s face up to his and brushed his lips over his mouth, they stepped back together as Ian ran his hand through Mickey’s hair. Mickey’s legs hit the side of the bed and Ian held him tight and Mickey lowered his arms behind him and Ian braced one arm down and came down over him. Mickey’s hands felt Ian’s skin and the feel of Ian’s weight over him and he remembered that first night together. Ian held his face as he lowered his mouth to his neck and shoulder Mickey felt his mouth and tongue graze against his skin. 

“I loved you then” he said, and moved his lips over Ian’s neck tasting his skin. He felt Ian’s hand over his and he thread his fingers through his and locked them together as his lips came back and kissed him slowly. Mickey stroked his hand over his side and felt the weight of all the love they had, the pain and the loss was nothing compared to how he felt about Ian. He rolled over bringing Ian under him and lifted his mouth from his, he held his face and Ian’s hand moved over his back and down his arm. He tightened his fingers around his and kissed Ian sweetly. 

“I didn’t know then” he said as he lifted his mouth away, “that I loved you’ he said lowering his lips against Ian and looking into his eyes, they were flashing with emotion and staring into him. He brought his hand around his jaw, “but I did.” He said and stroked his finger over Ian’s cheek and his eyes roamed over his sweet face. 

“That night” He said and felt Ian’s hand moving up to the back of his neck. “I fell totally and completely in love with you.” He said lowering his mouth to Ian’s. He turned his head and kissed him deeply, he wanted Ian to hear and feel how much he loved him. Ian’s hand moved over his back and he shivered, “No one.” he said, lifting his head up looking into Ian’s eyes “and nothing could ever change that.” He felt Ian shake and he saw his eyes filling with tears, he lifted his finger and brushed a tear away.

“You're my heart and soul.” He said and lowered his lips to Ian’s. 

 

Heidi woke up and lifted her head off the couch. 

“OH bad, bad idea.” She said and lowered it. She laid still and felt her head pound, she tested out her eyes and they weren’t great but it was a start. She tried her nose and she smelled coffee, her mouth watered. She tried her toes, they worked. Maybe her toes could go get her coffee. 

‘Hmm, maybe still a little drunk.’ She thought and opened her eyes. She saw the light and squinted but tried to keep them open. She rolled her eyes and they felt a little better. 

She heard a noise and tried her voice. 

“Hello.” She said lightly. 

She heard a chuckle and a “Hey.”

‘Mike.’ she thought. 'No Mickey, Mick, Mikhailo?…hmm.'

“Mickey.” She tried out.

“Ya?.” she heard. 

‘Got it right, good.‘ She thought. 

“Could you, Mikhailo Mickey Mick bring me some coffee, pleeeeease?”

She heard him giggle, really did he just giggle? Shit, was she hallucinating? She looked toward the supposed giggle and there he was pouring coffee, giggling. 

“Are you high?” She asked and he giggled again. 

“Ya, kinda.” He said and she saw him come toward her, she tried an arm it shot up from under the blanket. She saw him giggle up close and her heart skipped a beat, he was so beautiful when he was happy and smiling. He motioned his hand up and she sighed and moved her hand out to him, he grabbed it and pulled. She came to a sitting position and he handed her the life giving coffee. 

“Coffeecoffeecoffee.” She muttered bringing it up to her lips. “Mmmm” 

She tore her mouth away “Hi.” She said, looking up at him.

“Hey, how ya feelin?” 

“Like I got hit by a truck, and a big one too not those little pussy trucks” she shook her head and sucked down more coffee. 

“Aha.” Mickey smiled and stuck his tongue to the corner of his mouth. His eyes were bright blue and they were almost blinding. 

She drank all the coffee while she watched Mickey, he was leaning over the counter with his phone scrolling and writing things down occasionally. 

When she looked down and there was no more coffee she pouted. She could ask Mickey again but she should probably get up. She moved the blanket and dropped her legs to the floor and Mickey looked up.

“I’m OK.” She said with a wave of her hand.

She sat there for a minute and waited until she was actually OK like she claimed to be and lifted herself gingerly off the couch, Mickey was looking at her and she stood up and he looked back at the phone when she took a few solid steps. She walked slowly to the coffee machine and poured more in the mug.

“Whatcha doin’?” she asked. He smiled down at the phone and said,

“Can’t tell you.”

“Huh?” She said. 

He turned to her and laughed. He was fucking with her, she swung her arm and it barely grazed his shoulder.

“Ow?” He said with a big smile.

“Good, serves you right.” She said as she walked to the table. 

She sat down and all the pictures were still there. She smiled sifting through them and saw there were lots of people in the newer pictures, little and big people. 

“These are all his brothers and sisters.” She asked

“Ya, there’s like twenty of them.” Mickey said glancing up.

“Hm.” She murmured. 

“You doin’ alright?” He asked.

“Yeah.” She said “Think the worst of it has past.”

He went quiet, she looked over and saw the worry in his eyes.

“Oh you mean the fact that you’re in witness protection and all that…Ya, I think I’m OK.” He smiled and came around to sit at the table with his coffee.

She picked up the hot picture of Mickey and flipped it around to him biting her lip.

“Put that down.” he said grabbing at it. He put it face down on the table and she giggled, he shook his head and tried not to smile but he did. He picked up a smoke and lit it, he tossed the pack to her lightly and she took one out and lifted the lighter.

He braced on his elbows and pushed around the pictures with one hand and saw there were some he hadn’t seen earlier. He saw one that caught his eye, it was of him sitting in the corner of the couch with one leg up on the couch and one on the floor. Ian was sitting in the middle of the couch in front of his lower leg, his head turned toward him. Someone had caught them talking or something because Ian had a big grin on his face and Mickey had his head cocked to the side giving Ian a ‘whatever’ look. He let out a little laugh and handed it to Heidi.

“We were living together in this one.” He said and she took it from him. He took a drag of his smoke and looked back down at the table. He saw Ian with no shirt with eyeliner on standing next to a guy he vaguely remembered from the club. 

“That one's goin’ in the trash.” He said and tossed it with two fingers. It went over the edge of the table to the floor.

“You look so different.” Heidi said. He took a hissing drag and squinted his eyes at her through the smoke. She had two pictures in her hands and she was looking back and forth between them. 

“I don’t know if I would have even talked to this guy.” She said. He picked up his coffee and drank it sitting back. He saw the old picture of him and Ian in front of his house and looked at his face instead of Ian’s. He picked it up and brought it close to his face, he had nasty scowl and his whole body said, ‘FUCK YOU.’ 

“Hmph.” He grunted. 

“No really. You looked…..mean.” she said.

He scowled and shook his head. He looked back at the picture and realized he did look pretty fucking nasty. 

He picked up the picture of him on the bed turning it over and looked back and forth between the pictures.

‘Before and after.’ He thought and sat back in his chair. He brought the pictures together and put them back on the table. 

“I like you better.” She said looking at him and dropped the pictures. 

“Ya?” He said with a smile taking a drink from his cup. 

She nodded dramatically. He took a last drag from his smoke and let out a hissing laugh crushing it out. 

‘Jesus I’m gonna miss her.’ He thought

He brought his hands together in front of him and remembered her eyes as they told her, she was pissed but she listened and the first word she had said was ‘Ian.’ 

“Thanks.” He said.

“For what.” She asked. 

He shrugged and sat back. “For being cool about all this.” He said.

“I love you.” She said with a shrug. 

He felt all the air go out of him and his heart melted, she said it like it was just a fact. 

He looked down at the table and his vision blurred, he nodded his head and felt her hand come to his neck. She kissed his cheek with a loud “MUAH.” and he felt the smile spread across his face. She stood up grabbing his cup and he heard her walk into the kitchen and grab the coffeepot. 

“You should come with us.” He said turning around in the chair.

“Huuuuh?” she said turning to him with her mouth open.

He laughed at the look on her face. “Come on, you have nothin’ here.” He said putting his hands up. She tilted her head and squinted her eyes at him.

“Are you serious?” she asked.

“Ya.” he said smiling. 

He smiled as she stood up straight as an arrow and looked at the wall with her mouth open. He waited until she looked back at him, he put his hands up tilting his head and gave her his best smile. 

She chuckled and poured his coffee. She picked up the mugs and turned back to the table.

“Chicago?” she said.

“Ya.” He said turning in the chair as she came around. She put down the mugs and sat resting her chin on her hand. 

Her mouth twisted to one side and Mickey picked up his cup and watched her think. 

“Come on.” He said in a teasing tone.

She looked at him and smirked, he raised his eyebrows and smirked back at her, she smiled her pretty smile at him. 

“I do like pizza.” She said and sat back.

“You do.” He said nodding.

“And you’re the only family I have.” She said.

He felt his chest tighten, she thought of them as family. He looked away and brought his hand up in front of him. 

“Will Ian be OK with it?”

He sputtered. “Kidding me, he’s crazy about you.” He said in a low voice looking down and rubbed his hands over his jeans sitting back. He picked up a smoke and put it in his teeth, he smiled around it while he lit it and lifted his eyes up to her.

“So? He said letting out smoke. 

He saw the slow smile spread across her face and he picked up his coffee and laughed. 

 

He heard Ian’s shuffling feet and looked over. He was rubbing his eyes and blinking at him, he went straight to the coffee maker. 

“Hey Ian?!.” He said brightly.

“Huh?” he grunted. 

“She’s coming with us.” He said waving his hand up and gave Ian a huge grin. Ian looked over at him and his eyes went wide and turned to Heidi and she smiled and nodded. 

“YA?” he said. And looked at him, he nodded and bit his lip.

“Ya!” he said.

Ian’s whole face lit up into a beautiful smile. 

“Told ya!” he said to Heidi.

Ian came around him and sat down. 

“Really?” he said.

“Ya man.” He said nodding. 

He looked at Mickey and he saw the question in Ian’s eyes, they staying in Chicago for good?

Mickey moved his hand under his and looked down to Ian’s ring. He slid his thumb over his ring and saw Ian’s hand close around his. 

He looked back up at Ian.

“Ya man.” He said softly and smiled. 

 

They were packed and ready to go. It felt weird after two years not to have 14 Feds with them when they traveled, not that it was a bad thing Ian thought but it was going to take some getting used to. He looked around the little house and felt a little sad, they had been really happy here and everything had come together. They had finally been able to live and not fight every minute to be together. He had watched Mickey open up and let down the armor he had built up around him. He loved the way Mickey and Heidi got along like brother and sister but it was more than that, Mickey had someone he could talk to other than him. When he had said “My dad.” the day they had told Heidi about their past he had realized how much he trusted her. 

“Hey.” He heard.

He turned and Mickey’s gorgeous face smiled at him.

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

“Let’s go.” He said and they walked out of the little house together.

Heidi drove them to the airport in her little red sports car, she went 100 miles an hour or so it seemed to Ian.

“Jesus.” He said as she weaved around cars.

“We’re gonna die!” He said from the back seat as Mickey laughed. “Now, after we survive two years! Now that we’re safe from hit men and crazy drug dealers…we’re gonna die! ” He said closing his eyes and heard Heidi giggle.

They got there in one piece by some miracle and Mickey pushed the seat forward and he pushed out of the low sports car and squeezed himself out of the car. He huffed out a breath and held his heart.

“I think I had a heart attack, twice.”

Mickey laughed as he picked up their bags from the tiny trunk of Heidi’s car and Heidi snickered and slammed the trunk down. 

“Heart attack my ass.” She said and came around to him. She stopped in front of him and her head went back to look up at him and she said,

“Love you.”

“Love you too.” He said and hugged her tightly.

Her heard her sniff, he let out a little laugh and rubbed her back. 

“Shaddup.” She said muffled against his chest.

He pulled back to look down and she gave him a dirty look but smiled. 

Mickey dropped the bags and caught her when she shoved into him for a hug. He saw Mickey smile over her shoulder as he pulled her in, he laughed and picked her up. Her feet came off the ground and he held her up for a minute, he bent back over until her feet touched the ground and he pulled away rubbing her arm. He saw Mickey’s face soften when he saw her face.

He tilted his head and smiled at her.

“It’s two weeks.” Mickey said. 

Heidi sniffed, “That’s 14 long days.” She said.

Mickey rolled his eyes smiling as she shoved her head into his chest, he rubbed the back of her head and laughed. She shoved an elbow into him and Mickey grunted. 

She mumbled. “Love you Mickey.” He saw Mickey eyes go soft and he held her held and gave her a tight hug. She pulled away and he bit his lip and squeezed her arm.

“Be safe.” She said turning toward Ian and she reached out her hand, he took it and smiled.

She let out a heaving breath and said.

“OK go.” and waved her hands around in front of her. Ian smiled as she stomped around the car and pulled open the door. She got in and he saw her wipe a hand over her face and reach for the steering wheel, she put it in drive and the tires squealed and she zoomed away.

He heard Mickey laugh and he had his head turned toward Heidi’s speeding car. 

“She’s tellin’ us to be safe?" he said with a snicker and picked up the bags. 

 

Ian and Mickey walked up to the counter and Mickey reached in his bag and pulled out the tickets. The man behind the counter took a quick look and tapped at the keyboard. Ian looked up at the sign above him and he didn’t think this was the right, this airline went south. 

“Is this right?” he said.

“Ya.” Mickey said with his arms braced on the counter. 

He looked at the big monitor to his left and his eyes scanned down the names of cities and times, he didn’t see Chicago. He started at the top again thinking he must have missed it but it wasn’t there. He tilted his head and said.

“This isn’t right.”

Mickey didn’t answer him. He reached out for his shoulder and said,

“This isn’t the right airline.” 

Mickey turned around.

“Ya it is.” He said with a big smile.

Ian narrowed his eyes and looked at his face. Mickey cocked his head and his tongue came out to his lips.

That was his 'HA HA, I got you.' look.

“Whaaat?” Ian asked lightly. 

Mickey laughed wickedly.

He turned to the man behind the desk.

“Hey, where are we going.” He asked.

The man looked up at him with a little confusion that he had to ask and said,

“Texas.”

He felt love all through in his chest as he looked at Mickey, he was smiling at him and tilting his head. He reached out to his face and pulled him to his lips for a smiling kiss.

 

They pulled into the Motel and Ian had a smile from ear to ear. Mickey parked in front of the office and looked over at him, he was over the fucking moon happy. They got out together this time and headed for the office. Mickey had called and reserved the same room for them, Mickey grabbed the key and they got back in the car and drove across the parking lot to their room. 

They opened the door and Mickey smiled dropping their bags on the table, he heard Ian laugh and close the door. Mickey looked around, it looked exactly the same. Ian came up beside him and put his arm around his shoulder, he looked over and Ian was looking around like he had. 

“They probably haven’t washed the sheets since ya know.” He said.

Mickey nodded. “Mm.” he brought his hand up around Ian’s back and held on to him.

“Shower?” Ian said.

“Fuuuck yes!” He said with his devils smile on his happy face.

Ian wrapped his elbow around his neck and pulled him in. 

 

Mickey’s head was hanging off the side of the bed and his whole body tingled, his arms dangled down beside him and he felt the blood rushing in his head. Ian’s arm was slung across his back and he heard him panting air in and out.

“Jesus.” He heard Ian pant out.

He smiled and let out a laugh with a breath, he let his brain float and felt his body tingles move over him. They had been here for a day and hadn’t left the room once. They brought food with them and had eaten and banged like bunnies all day. They fell asleep once for about two hours but Mickey had woken up and closed his teeth and lips over Ian’s neck and he had come awake fast. 

He laughed again and felt his head pound with the rushing blood. 'I should move.' he thought lazily. He stayed there rolling it around in his mind. He finally put a hand up and reached around to the bed, he pulled himself back and shoved his elbows under him, his head came down to the bed and he sighed. 

“I fucking love Texas.” He thought and opened his eyes enough to see Ian’s relaxed face turned into the bed.

“Mmm.” He murmured and smacked his lips together. Ian's eyes rolled open and settled on his, they were glazed and unfocused. He smiled lazily at him and he watched his eyes close. 

Ian’s hand fell across his chest and he let out a long sigh.

“Food.” Ian murmured.

“Mm.” Mickey grunted and closed his eyes.

They didn’t move. 

 

Mickey woke up and his head was against the bed where he had pushed himself up and Ian was in the same position he was when he suggested food. It was darker in the room than it had been, they must have slept for a while. He turned his head into the bed and brought his arms under him lifting his head and shook it slowly. He looked down at Ian and his mouth was open and he was out for the count. 

He leaned over him and kissed his arm looking up at his sleeping face. He turned to his side and brought his arms up resting his head on it. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and blinked them rapidly. 

'Shit, that had to be some kind of record.' He thought. 'Five times? And the blowjob in the shower.' He smiled to himself. 

He brought his hand down in front of him and arched his back stretching, he let out a breath and rolled onto his back and sat at the edge of the bed. He stood and walked around the bed naked to the nightstand, he grabbed the smokes and the lighter and lit one looking around and found his jeans where Ian had thrown them and grabbed them up holding the smoke in his lips, he put them on and walked to the window. He held the cigarette in his teeth and opened the drapes wide open and looked out over the parking lot and empty street. 

He smiled thinking of Ian’s face when he realized they were going to Texas he was so surprised and happy. Ian needed this, he needed to know that he understood what Texas had meant to him. 

It meant a lot to him too he realized while he was making the plans. It was like going back and doing it right with all they had come to mean to each other in the past two years. He loved him then, but now he loved him even more and he hadn't thought that was possible. It was deep in his bones, Ian was the other half of him and he wasn’t him without Ian. 

He thought about home, Ian needed that too. He didn’t, but if that’s what Ian needed it that’s where they were going. They weren’t the same people they were when they left Chicago. Ian had settled into himself and was more like Ian than he had seen since he got sick. He handled his shit though, went to the doctor, took his meds and was really careful about it. There had been only one episode in the past two years, and that was right at the start. Ian had been not sleeping and was a little too happy, he had watched him for two days and very calmly had said,

“Ian, you need to change your meds man.”

He had shaken his head and scoffed. He had sat quietly until Ian had really looked at him, his eyes had changed and he had nodded his head. He had gone to the doctor that day and Mickey had watched him sleep for three days, but he had adjusted to new meds after a couple of weeks.

He finished the smoke and headed to the nightstand and stubbed it out. He found a shirt and shrugged it on walking to the chair and grabbed his boots and put them on. He found the keys in the dim light and grabbed the room key. He opened the door and looked back at Ian still crashed out on the bed and closed the door quietly behind him.

 

Ian smelled food and he came awake breathing in and he was right, that was food. He heard Mickey moving around quietly, he smiled and thought, ‘Well as quietly as Mickey can.’ He opened his eyes and turned his head toward the noise, Mickey was setting down two white cartons on the table from a big bag.

“Whadyaget.” He said.

“Hey.” He said brightly turning his head.

“Mm.” he grunted and rubbed his face, he lifted his upper body and sat up. He braced his arms behind him and let his head fall back and turned his head back and forth.

He opened his eyes and Mickey was putting a six pack of beer down to the table. 

“And beer?’ he thought. ‘Nice.’

He moved to the edge of the bed and rubbed his neck standing up, his muscles were sore but they were sore for a very good reason he thought and stood up grabbing his shorts, he put them on and walked up beside Mickey bringing his hand up his over his back and shoulder. 

“Smells good.” He said.

“Ya, I’m fuckin starvin.” He said opening a carton. 

He lifted put a piece of chicken and Ian smiled. He ate and moved around the table to the drapes and closed them and he flipped on the light as he walked back over to the chair. Ian blinked at the bright light but could see the other chair and sat down. Mickey pushed a beer to him and he caught it. He grabbed up a piece of chicken and sat back bringing his legs up to Mickey’s lap, Mickey pulled them onto his lap and gave his ankle a squeeze. He tore into the chicken and groaned.

“Hmph, so good.” Mickey glanced at him and rolled his eyes. Ian said around his chicken. “Right?” he opened a beer and slurped it down and pushed the back of his hand over his face.

They finished the chicken and opened the other cartons, they ate the fries but left the burgers.

“Oh my God, I’m stuffed.”

“Me too.” He said around a mouthful of fries. Ian laughed and opened another beer and put it in front of Mickey. 

Mickey smiled and turned his eyes to him. It hit him like a thunderbolt and he sucked in a breath, the love he felt for Mickey rushed through him like a tidal wave. He let out the breath and leaned over and kissed his mouth full of fries, Mickey puckered his lips and smiled through the French Fries. He sat up and Mickey laughing eyes were on him, he smiled back and opened a beer for himself.

“When did you come up with this?” Ian asked and took a swig of beer. 

“The night you got plastered.” He said and looked at him grinning. 

“Why, what’d I say?” he asked with a laugh.

Mickey sat back and lifted his beer. 

“You said we should come back here.”

“I did?” 

Mickey nodded and tipped his beer up to his mouth.

“It was really fucking sweet.” He said chuckling.

“Sweet?” 

Mickey nodded, “You were whispering like it was all some big secret.”

Ian laughed and Mickey tilted his head and the beer in his hand.

“What else did I say?” he asked his eyes wide.

Mickey looked away and put the beer can down.

‘Oh must have been good.’ Ian thought.

“Come on.” Ian said sweetly and pushed at his arm. 

Mickey smiled and said, “You said you wanted to get married again when we go home.”

Ian put his head down and smiled. 

“I kinda do.” He said.

“Ya?” 

Ian nodded and said, “It would be fun, like a big party with my family.” He said.

Mickey nodded and shrugged. 

“And Heidi.” Ian said cocking his head.

“Oh Jesus.” He said sitting back. “Fucking Heidi.” He said and Ian murmured

“MM HM.”

“Fuck, she’s gonna make us wear like…those tuxes and have white doves and shit.” He chugged his beer and brought it down into his hand and held it. 

“And wear one of those.. what do you call em?” He said.

“Bridesmaids dresses.”

“YA! She’s going to make us wear bright fucking pink or something.” He scowled and let out a huff. 

Ian laughed and knew she wouldn’t and he also knew Mickey would wear a tux if Heidi asked him to. 

“You tell her I’m not wearing pink…or purple or whatever.” He said in a panicky voice.

“You sure, I think you’d look good in purple.” He said with a serious face.

Mickey widened his eyes and glared at him.

Ian smiled and Mickey smirked.

“Mm OK.” He said as his hands gripped his leg. Ian laughed as he pulled, his ass came off the chair as Mickey shoved his legs over and he went down hard on the floor. He laughed harder when he saw Mickey get on his knees around his legs and brace his arms beside his waist. He looked down as he crawled over him and Mickey’s tongue was out and his eyes were bright as they came face to face. He lowered his mouth to his and Ian laughed into his mouth, he brought his hand up under his shirt and felt Mickey’s hot skin. His mouth relaxed and he let out a breath as Mickey tongue teased his as he lowered onto his upper arms. Ian moved his hands over his back bringing a hand up to Mickey’s neck and pulled his mouth back. 

“I love you.” He said and he saw Mickey’s eyes light up and his lips curl into a smile. 

“Ya?” MIckey asked.

“Yeah.” He said looking into his beautiful eyes and brought Mickey’s lips back down to his. 

 

Mickey was sore all over and pretty fucking happy about it, he drank a beer as packed his and Ian’s clothes in the bags. Two days they had done nothing but eat and bang with an occasional break with sleep or a movie. They had slept like the dead last night though, like 10 hours. 

‘We’re not 17 anymore.’ He thought with a chuckle. Ian came out of the bathroom with their stuff and walked to his bag and shoved it in.

He looked a little sad, Mickey thought looking at him. He’s a little blue, he smiled to himself and thought that was going to change pretty soon and smiled.

“What?” Ian asked. He had caught him smiling. 

“Nothin.” He said and shrugged making sure his face changed to a sad one.

They grabbed their bags and headed to the car. Mickey slammed the trunk and saw Ian open the driver’s side door.

“Yo,” he said. Ian looked back.

“I’m drivin.’ He said and walked to the door and waved Ian away. Ian shrugged but he saw the flash in his eyes, the car they rented a hot black sports car and Ian hadn’t driven it yet. 

‘Ian’s pissed. He he he.’ He thought to himself as got in the car and he put on his sunglasses. Ian got in beside him and he lit a smoke. 

‘I’m just so bossy.’ He thought. 

He drove to the exit of the parking lot.

‘Hmm. Which way should I go?’ He thought and stopped even though there was no traffic. 

Mickey smiled and turned right and Ian saw it.

“You’re going the wrong way.” He said and turned to him.

“Am I?” he said and looked at Ian with a serious face.

“Ya.” he said.

“Huh.” He said and looked through the windshield but didn’t stop the car. 

He sat back and held the wheel with one hand and started to whistle.

He saw Ian look at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Hello?” He said. “Uh, that way.” and pointed his thumb over his shoulder. 

“Nah.” He said. 

“Mick.” Ian said in a stern tone. 

“Ian.” He said in the same tone and smiled and slid his tongue over his teeth to his lips.

He turned to Ian and he was glaring at him, he laughed and reached over to the glove box, he popped it open, grabbed the passports and dropped them in Ian’s lap.

“What’s..” Ian started and picked up the passports. He opened them and looked down, Mickey giggled and he watched Ian’s face light up. They were their passports with their real names.

“We’re going to MEXICO?” he said turning to Mickey.

“Fuck ya we are!” He said with a big smile.

Ian laughed and his laugh got louder as he looked down at the passports again. Mickey giggled again and looked over at him, ‘So fucking happy’ he thought.

When Ian stopped laughing he leaned over and smacked a kiss on his lips. 

“Jesus, you’re amazing.” Ian said.

Mickey rolled his eyes but smiled at Ian and saw him looking down at the passport again. He had done the same thing when he had first opened the passports, he hadn’t seen his name or Ian’s in print for two years and he had just stared at them for a long time. 

“Big?” Ian asked

“Yep.” He said. “We’re us again man.”

“It’s safe though?” Ian asked.

“I made sure.” He said nodding.

Ian smiled at him brightly sitting back handing the smoke to him, he put it in his smiling lips and inhaled.

“There’s a place I used to go when I was there.” He said and thought of it, the rocks and the little stretch of beach where he had listened to Ian’s voice. 

He smiled and looked over Ian was looking at him with love and a little sadness. 

“I used to drink a beer and think Ian would fuckin’ love it here, so…” He trailed off raising a hand and smiled at Ian.

He watched the sadness disappear from his eyes and Ian smiled.

They stopped at the hotel to dump their stuff and put on the sandals Mickey had hidden in his bag, they threw a few things in Ian’s back pack and headed back out onto the busy street. Mickey led the way down the little street and stopped at a stand to buy them tacos and beers, he stuffed the beers into Ian’s back pack and handed Ian a taco.

“Best fucking things you’ll ever eat in your life.” He said.

Ian looked skeptical, but he saw Ian’s face change when he bit into the taco and laughed, the food was fucking amazing here and he bit into his as they walked toward the beach.

Ian finished his taco in three bites and wiped a napkin over his mouth. Mickey saw the blue of the ocean and stuffed the rest of his taco in his mouth. He wiped his hands together and motioned with his hand to Ian with a big smile.

“Wooow.” Ian said as they walked over the street toward the sand. Ian was turning his head back and forth to see all of it. He took off his sunglasses and put them in his pocket as they walked onto the sand and he saw Ian slip off his sandals and put his feet down in the sand. He picked them up in one hand and looked at Mickey. Ian looked like a kid and Mickey chuckled at his face and darting eyes as he tried to take it all in.

“It’ so big! He said.

Mickey nodded and pushed his feet back and bent over to picked his sandals up. They walked down to the water and Ian kept turning his head to see all of it. Ian walked into the water and watched the water come over his feet, Mickey laughed again at the look on his face. He kicked a foot and splashed the water into the ocean.

“Nice huh?” He said. 

“Nice?” Ian said. “This is beautiful.” He said.

“Ya, it is.” Mickey said looking at him.

“Where’s the place?” he asked.

“This way.” He said and turned, Ian came up next to him and he felt Ian’s hand come to his, he threaded his fingers through his and he watched Ian take in the ocean for the first time.

They had to walk for a while but Mickey saw it ahead and lifted their hands toward it.

“There.” It was bend in the beach and rocks jutting out into the ocean.

Ian started walking faster and pulled at his hand.

“Hey.” He said and saw the look in Ian’s eyes and Ian put his free arm through the backpack strap.

He smiled and Ian dropped his hand and started running. Mickey dug his feet in and ran behind him, he caught up to him and Ian put a hand out to push him back.

"Oh fuck you." Mickey said and shoved at his arm and kept running until they were on the bend in the beach and started slowing down, Ian slowed down next to him and they were here.

Mickey bent over and braced his hands on his knees and panted. Ian held his hips and breathed heavily.

“I gotta quit smokin’’” he said and let out a huff.

He straightened and climbed up the dune and around the rocks. Ian followed him and he waited when he got to the top. Ian came up beside him and he looked at Ian as he saw the place. His eyes brightened and his mouth opened, he watched him look over the water to the horizon and down to the sand over the little rocks that were scattered over the beach. Ian turned to him and he saw how much he loved it and him, he closed his hand over Ian’s and they walked over the sand until they came to the place where he used to sit and think about Ian.

He smiled looking out over the ocean and Ian swung the backpack to him, he unzipped it and took out the beers. Ian walked down to the water and stepped into the ocean. He smiled and saw his hair blowing around and the smile on his face. He reached into the bag and brought out his new phone and hit the camera button, he lifted it and took a picture of Ian as he took another step in, his head up toward the sun.

He thought for a second about being here without him and it didn’t hurt anymore, it was only a moment that brought them here. He lowered himself down and sat against the rock and watched Ian. He kicked at the water with his hands on his hips and looked back at Mickey with a big smile, Mickey brought up the camera. Click. Ian smirked at him, Click. He laughed and put the camera down.

Ian turned back toward the water and Mickey lifted his knees and brought his arms up over them and watched him smiling. Ian stepped out of the water and took off his jeans sticking his tongue out of his mouth. He pushed them off and Mickey’s eyebrows went up when he saw him stick is thumbs in his shorts but he laughed when Ian wiggled his eyebrows at him taking a step back, he turned and ran into the water. He took five steps through the water and dove in, he came up and started swimming. He flipped on his back and floated looking at the sky, he rolled over and kicked his feet and went under the water. Mickey grabbed a smoke and lit it watching him swim around. Ian stood up and the water was up to his waist, he waved to Mickey and called out,

“Come in.”

He shook his head and took a drag of his smoke smirking.

“Come on.” He said.

Mickey looked away.

“Mickey.” He said in a sweet tone.

His eyes moved back but he didn’t turn his head. He lifted the smoke and took a drag.

Ian put his hands on his hips and called out,

“Scared?” Mickey turned his head and widened his eyes. ‘He’s just fucking with me trying to get me in.’ He thought. He nodded and smirked at Ian.

‘That’s not gonna work.’ He thought and turned away

“Pussy.” He heard and his head came back. Ian was standing in the water with his arms crossed shaking his head.

Mickey stuck the cigarette in the sand and stood up. “Pussy huh?” he said and lifted his shirt over his head as he walked to the water. He pushed off his jeans and shorts together and stepped out of them, he walked into the water glaring at him. Ian laughed and came toward him smiling, Mickey waited until he was close enough and shoved him back hard.

He let out an “Oof” and splashed into the water. Mickey laughed and Ian popped back up, he saw Ian’s eyes were hot on his and felt Ian’s wet hands move over his waist. He opened his mouth and Ian’s tongue slid over his lips and moved his lips over Ian’s. Ian took a step and he let out a shocked breath as Ian’s wet chest hit his. He moved his hands over Ian’s wet skin and tasted the salt on Ian’s lips.

 

Ian felt the sun and Mickey. He kissed him feeling his tongue move with his and his fingers move over him. He held his neck and moved his mouth deeper into his, he felt Mickey’s knuckles brush across his hip, he felt Mickey’s hand grip his cock under the water he hissed and opened his eyes and Mickey was watching him. Their lips barley touching he felt Mickey move his hand over his cock and he felt the shooting lightning bolts of heat tear through him, he saw Mickey’s eyes get darker as he hissed and grabbed the back of his head and pulled his mouth to his. They kissed hard and breathed heavily against each other’s lips. Mickey’s hand came away and gripped into his waist.

Ian felt them moving and lowered his mouth on Mickey’s neck and shoulder as he turned against the rock, he sank his teeth into his neck and thrust into him, Mickey hissed and his head came up. Ian licked over his shoulder and brought his lips up to his ear, he moved into him and hissed against his ear and held him around his waist. He heard Mickey grunt and hiss as he moved. Mickey turned his face to his and he kissed his open lips holding his head as he felt Mickey come. He watched his face, his mouth opened and he groaned as his face twisted. Ian thrust in him deeper and he bit Mickey’s neck hissing around his teeth as he came hard and fast.

Mickey’s eyes rolled in his head, he felt the rock under his hand and Ian behind him leaning against him, he felt the sun shining down on them and the ocean water that came up to his thighs.

‘Sex on the beach is a thing for a reason.’ He thought dizzily.

“Fuck.” He said and they swayed with the current of the water. He brought his hand up and moved it over Ian’s wet hair and Ian hummed. Mickey turned around and leaned back against the rock and Ian’s eyes were half lidded and on his. Ian kissed him slowly and Mickey moved his hands over his neck and back, Ian’s wet hands trailed over his sides and he lifted his lips to his opening his eyes.

He saw a glint in Ian’s eyes and his wicked smile. Ian shoved him to the right and pushed him hard, he went under saying “FU..and hit the water, he went under smiling and came up fast, he shook his head and saw Ian backing away,

“Oh you better run.” He said and Ian turned and went to the left, Mickey took three long steps and caught Ian’s arm but he was slippery and Ian pulled away. Mickey tackled him and they both went under, Ian was shoving at him and they rolled in the water together and came up at the same time. The circled each other, Mickey was smiling and his tongue slid on his teeth, Ian had a grin on his face and his eyes were narrowed, Ian lunged and Mickey side stepped and Ian went under.

He came up quick and glared at Mickey, he wiggled his tongue at him and cocked his head.

“Come on bitch.” He said and Ian cocked his head and twisted his mouth.

Ian dove under and he felt him grab his legs.

‘Oh fuck.’ He thought as Ian yanked his legs out from under him. He went in and he felt swim over him, he held his waist and they knocked their knees together. Mickey was laughing as they came up and heard Ian’s chuckle, he pushed the water out of his eyes and Ian was pushing his hair back. Ian brought his hand down to his jaw and lifted his face, Ian’s lips came down on his as Mickey tightened his wet fingers through Ian’s.

 

They dried themselves on the beach lying naked on the sand, their eyes were closed and Ian sighed.

“This is perfect.” He said.

“Knew you’d love it.” He heard and Mickey sounded like he was starting to fall asleep, he stayed quiet and let him drift away. He did love it and Mickey had sat here and thought of him while he was with a Mexico alone. He turned to Mickey and saw he was asleep and watched his chest rise and fall and in the bright sunlight. He sat up and brought his knees up in front of him, he looked out over the horizon and couldn’t believe how beautiful it was. The water was sparkling in the sunlight, the rocks were black streaked with silver and the sand was so light it was almost white.

He looked over his shoulder at Mickey and smiled, he did this for him, all of it. He let his face fall to his shoulder and looked at Mickey his whole heart, sleeping on the beach. He couldn’t believe sometimes how much he loved Mickey, it was unconditional and absolute and he loved him with an intensity that scared him a little. It had grown from crazy love to love him like crazy and Ian knew the best thing he ever did was leave Chicago with him.

He turned back to the water and stood up, he reached into the bag and brought out a towel they had thrown in the bag and spread it over Mickey carefully. He found the shorts he was supposed to put on before he went swimming and put them on, he put another towel down on the sand next to Mickey and sat down pulling out a beer and opened it quietly watching the waves.

‘This is my favorite place in the world.’ He thought.

The Motel had been maybe the most fun they had ever had. They had laughed like kids, ate until they were sick and had sex pretty much on every surface, he thought with a smile. They had talked and talked, about nothing and everything. They had talked about going home, Ian was a bit nervous about it and it was nice to hear Mickey was too, they would figure it all out together. They were going to have to approach this in a certain way but there was no getting around it, it was going to be a shock to them, Mandy especially. He had realized after they left Chicago when the buzz of it all cleared that he hadn’t been there for her, she thought Mickey was dead and he had bailed. He felt awful about it and he hoped someday she could forgive him. He hoped she had found somebody to help her through it, someone nice who understood how special she is. He couldn’t wait until Mandy and Heidi met, he smiled at the thought and drank his beer. 

He felt Mickey move and looked down at him, he saw his eyelashes flicker.

“Turn that off. “Mickey said and Ian knew he was still half asleep and thought he was waking up in their bed.

“The sun?” Ian said.

“Hm?”

“We’re in Mexico.” He said with smile.

Mickey’s eyes opened a little and Ian saw the bright blue eyes he loved looking up at him, Mickey’s lips turned up into a smile. Ian watched his eyes close again but the smile stayed on his face. Ian looked back out over the water and couldn’t decide which was more beautiful, everything around him or the man who had brought him here.

 

They leaned against the rock and watched the sun go down, Ian took a bunch of pictures with his phone and they drank the last two beers.

““I heard you talk to Westford here.” Mickey said with a smile.

Ian reached his hand to his and held it and Mickey looked out over the water, his mind was clear and his soul was happy.

"Mick." Ian said quietly and turned to him.

“Even if I knew right from the start how things would go..” Ian stopped and looked out over the water. 

“I’d go through it all again to get here with you.” Mickey's heart shook with his words and when Ian’s eyes came to his he saw that they were full of love for him. 

Mickey nodded and squeezed his hand.

"Me too." Mickey said around the lump in his throat.


	9. Chapter 9

Ian saw his house through the windshield and smiled, it was all beat up and broken but he had grown up here and his family was here. He braked and put the car in park looking up at it. It was late afternoon, they had gone to the hotel first and unpacked. They had decided it was better for him to do this alone. They knew he was coming and he hoped they were all OK with it. He reached for the door handle and opened it and as he stood up he saw the door fly open and Fiona was coming through it. 

“IAN” She called out. He smiled and ran to her, she jumped off the step and she was in his arms. He felt the tears in his eyes and heard stampeding feet and saw Lip and Carl and Debs come running down the stairs. They all wrapped around him hugging him at the same time, he lifted an arm and pulled Lip in for a hard hug. He heard them all in a whirl of voices and he let the tears stream down his face and hugged them two at time and then hugged every one of them again. “I missed you.” He said. “Oh man” he said and kept looking at their faces, they all wiped tears away and laughed. He kept his arm around Lips neck and held Debbie’s hand and they all walked up the steps. 

Kev and V were at the top of the steps and he ran up and Kev pulled him in.

“Hey man, where the hell have you been?” He said with a big smile and he hugged him hard. 

He smiled and said. “Iowa.”

“IOWA?” he heard from about five of them and he laughed and hugged V.

“Where the fuck’s Iowa?” Kev said.

“Iowa? Boy, you better start talking?” V said and held his arms. She smirked and walked into the living room and he saw beer and chips and streamers and a big sign that said WELCOME HOME IAN! 

He felt the tears well up and Lip saw them and pulled his neck in. Ian covered his face and wiped at the tears. It was all of it, the word home and his real name on the sign. 

Lip dragged him by the neck into the living room they were all talking at once. He smiled and felt the chaos that was home and he took the beer Kev handed him and sat down on the the couch opening it and felt completely at home. 

“What the fuck is that?” V said pointing at his left hand. They all stopped talking and stared at him, he smiled.

“I got married.” He said.

“MARRIED!” they all said at once. He laughed hard and they all started talking.

“What?” “When?” “What the fuck?” “To who?” “Jesus Ian.” “It’s a guy right?” He laughed and nodded. 

“Alright, alright!” he said and they quieted a little. He started to speak and didn’t really know where to start, if he came right out and said it they’d flip.

‘Nah’ he thought ‘that would be mean.’ He thought as his eyes narrowed and he smiled slowly.

“I married Mickey.” He said, and laughed while they all freaked out around him. 

 

Mickey walked up to the building and looked up.

‘Nice’ he thought and walked through the glass door. He looked at the wall of buttons and looked over it to find Mandy’s name, he heard the door open and felt a shove and arms came around him like a vice.

“You fucking motherfucker.” He heard 

He smiled and held her tight. 

“I hate you and that cocksucker Ian”

He laughed and said “Ya?”

“Yes you douchebag!” She said shoving him back and he saw Mandy’s face for the first time in years, tears were on her face and her eyes gunk was all smeared. He smiled at her and she shoved him.

“Omph” he let out and stepped back. She grabbed his arm and pulled him in for another hug. 

“Do you hate me or not bitch?” he giggled when she punched with one hand and hugged him with the other. 

She held his arm as they went to her apartment, she wouldn’t let him go and that was fine with him. He kept looking at her face smiling and she kept turning her head away or shoving at him.

She opened the door to her apartment and she pulled him in. It was small but nice and very Mandy, all that gothic shit that she liked was everywhere. He smiled at her and she let go of his arm finally and he watched her walk into a little kitchen and open her refrigerator, she took out two beers and kicked the door closed. 

“What?” she said with a scowl.

“Nothin’ he said. “Just happy to see your scowling face.” He said with a big smile.

She gave him a dirty look and she grabbed his arm again and led him to the couch. 

He and Ian had decided the best way for Mandy to know what had happened and that he was alive was for Frick to tell her. He couldn’t imagine what it would do to her to just see his face without any warning after two years. Frick had called Mickey and he had taken the short L ride to her building after he had dropped the bomb he was still alive and Frick had told him how it had gone. She had barely spoken and she of course didn’t believe him until he gave her the letter he had written to her. She had cried, Frick said and asked “Where is he?” immediately. 

He sat facing her on the couch and drank his beer and she asked question after question. She was still in shock but it was wearing off. 

“I can’t believe Ian?” She said shaking her head with a scowl on her face.

“Don’t be mad at Ian.” He said

“He didn’t come see me at all after I told Lip.” He heard the anger and hurt in her voice.

“He didn’t have a chance, the Feds picked him up.”

“Ya?” She asked and her eyes looked at him warily.

“Ya, listen if you’re gonna be pissed at anybody be pissed at me. I did all this.” He said. 

She moved her hand to his and held it, she looked down and saw the naked fingers and brought it up between them. 

“Why is everyone so fucking obsessed with the tattoos?” He asked rolling his eyes. 

“No stupid, this! ” She said and shoved his hand in his face. He looked at it confused until he saw his ring. 

“Oh ya, he didn’t tell you that?” he asked lightly with a smile.

“NO! You got married? She shot out, her face was stunned.

“Uhh ya!?” He said and tried to smile but he saw Mandy’s eyes were dark and pissed. 

“Without me? “She said and shoved his hand at him.

She stood up and stormed away.

He started to speak. 

“NO.” she said and he shut his mouth and twisted his face looking down at his beer.

She paced and bitched.

“How could you do that, how could fucking Ian?” She whipped around and crossed her arms.

“Mand..” 

“Shut up, shut up! You’re not dead AND you married Ian, fucking Ian?!” He tapped her foot and stared at him with her mouth twisted up and her eyes glaring.

‘Am I supposed to talk now?’ he wondered. 

She shoved her face forward, he widened his eyes and cocked his head.

“Talk!” She let out like a bullet.

“OH. MY. GOD!” He said and sat forward with his hands up. He took a breath and remembered she was his sister and he loved her and she had thought he was dead. He might be better off if he was at this point, he thought. 

“We got married so Ian could go with me.” He said and brought his hand up and smiled at her. “But Ian’s talking about getting married again here, sooo….” He stopped and waited. 

‘Nothin’, really? He thought. She was still staring at him like she wished he was still dead.

“We’ve been in Iowa most of the time and let me tell ya, that’s almost worse than being dead.” He said.

She almost smiled. “Iowa?”

He nodded and he saw the corners of her lips turn up.

“Isn’t that punishment enough?” He asked and she rolled her eyes and said, 

“No.”

He smiled at her and she sat back down and hugged his arm and shoved her head into his shoulder. He smiled and kissed the top of her head with a chuckle. 

 

Mickey laughed as Ian told him about his family. He leaned against the headboard as Ian relayed the story pacing back and forth at the end of the bed laughing and telling him everything they said.

“Oh and then Kev asked if you’d come back and be his pimp.” Mickey laughed long and hard at that one. 

“Carl asked about the Feds, I told him they were all dicks and he was like ‘Oh ya?” and nodded like he should be a Fed.”

Mickey laughed at Ian’s scrunched up face. His hands were flying around and he was so happy to be home it made all the worry and nerves about being here disappear.

“Oh hey.” He stopped. “Fiona said she has an empty apartment in her building.” 

“Ya?" He said with the smiling still lingering on his lips. 

“Ya, she said we could rent it and help fix it up.”

Mickey smiled wider, it was probably swarming with Gallaghers but if it made Ian this happy he’d live with it. 

“We can look at it tomorrow.” Ian said

“Ya man sounds good.” He said and got up, he walked around the bed to Ian and his eyes were bright and shining, He brought his hands to his waist.

“I’d live anywhere with you.” Ian said with a smile and kissed him.

 

They stood outside the Alibi.

“Ready? Ian asked and took his hand.

“I guess.” Mickey said.

Ian opened the door and there were cheers and whistles. 

“There he is!!" Kev called out. Ian was hugged by someone and Mickey walked up to the bar.

“Good to see ya man.” Kev said and hit his shoulder. He poured him a shot of whiskey and Mickey shot it back. 

‘Oh man, that brings back memories.’ He thought. It was the same rot gut they always had. 

“Hey, hey!” Kev called out and the noise lessened a little. “Here to Mickey back from the dead and Iowa, which is kinda the same thing.” He lifted his glass and the glasses in the bar went up. 

Ian came up beside him and Kev said "And here's your loving husband."

Mickey scowled at him.

“Hey Mick.” He heard over and over.

“What the fuck were you doing in Iowa?” He heard a few times and answered as vaguely as possible. 

“You got married huh?” Tommy said.

“Yep.” Mickey said leaning against the bar.

“That was a mistake.” Tommy said.

“Oh ya? Mickey said. “How’s that?”

“They get fat and mean after.” He said.

Mickey cocked his head at Tommy, he knew Tommy knew he had married Ian. 

“See your problem is that YOU married a woman.” Mickey said. 

Tommy nodded into his beer. 

“I don’t have that problem.” Mickey said shrugging.

“True.” Tommy said. 

“Mm.” he murmured and brought his arms out to his sides. 

Kermit nodded and said “Smart.” 

Mickey leaned back against the bar and shook his head smiling. It was strange being back here but it didn’t feel bad. He scanned the bar for Ian and he was with his brothers, he was laughing and holding his chest with a beer in his hand. He felt a smile cross his face and took a swig of beer, they were home and Ian was happy. 

 

Ian noticed Mandy wasn’t in the bar right away. He looked for her as soon as they had walked in but he didn’t see her, he grabbed Lip’s arm and said,

“Be right back.” and weaved his way through people toward Mickey. He was sitting at the end of the bar and Kev was asking him question after question. Ian heard the last of one through the music.

..they don’t have whores in Iowa? He asked. 

“Hey.” He said.

“Thank fucking Christ!” he said and turned on the stool.

Ian stepped up to the bar and leaned over it, rubbing his top lip with his index finger. 

“She’ll be here man.” Mickey said. Ian looked at Mickey and he nodded at him with a firm look in his eyes. 

Kev threw a beer down for Ian. 

“So, Mick what if I said 60/40?” He said bracing his arms on the bar. 

Mickey shook his head and scowled. 

“60 what? Nah man, 30/70 my way and maybe I’ll think about it…”

Ian lifted his beer and turned around smiling. Mickey was fucking with Kev for the whole stealing the money thing and something about a keg? Everyone was pretty much here, Trevor was on some hiking trip with his boyfriend and wouldn’t be back for a week but he had talked to him a couple of times and he sounded really happy. Ian drank his beer and put his hand in his pocket, he was happy but he really wanted to see Mandy. Mick had filled him in on how their first meeting had gone and he hadn’t come back to the hotel bloody so it went much better than expected. 

He listened with half an ear to Mickey screwing with Kev and saw the door start to open his heart leapt but saw it was just a regular bar goer. He stepped back and put his beer down and leaned against the bar with his arms crossed over his chest. 

..asians? HUH?!" Kev said holding his arms out.

“Asians.” Mickey said in a dead pan voice. “Where you gonna get fucking Asians?”

“I don’t know.. a boat?”

“Ya, ok. You go get the Asians and I’ll get the twinks.”

‘Twinks?’ Ian thought and looked back at Kev. 

“We’re going gay Ian.” Kev said in a serious tone. “That’s right.” He said nodding. “We’re an all-inclusive Rub’N’ Tug.” He said raising his hand and bringing it over like a sign. “Can’t leave the boys who like boys left hanging can we?” He said with his sweet smile.

Kev poured a shot for Mickey and one for himself and held it up. 

“Let’s hear it for the boys!” he said and tossed the shot back. He smiled and clapped his hands together. 

“Ya, ok?!” Mickey said and drank the rot gut. 

“Hey.” They heard and Kev swung his towel over his shoulder and walked to the other end of the bar.

Ian laughed and picked up his beer. 

“You gonna tell him.” Ian asked

“Nope.” Mickey said tipping his beer to his lips. Mickey’s eyes were smiling into his.

Ian shook his head, Mickey wasn’t going back to the Rub’N’Tug. Ian didn’t have to ask, he knew. Mickey had changed in the past two years and Ian knew he liked being respected and not seen as a thug. It had taken time, it hadn’t happened overnight. Mickey had hated every minute of working for the first 6 months or so but Ian had started to see a change. He leaned into his beer with a smile and Mickey turned his stool toward him, his hand moving over his side and rubbed his back, he turned his head toward his and gripped his neck, he tilted his head down and Ian smiled. Mickey gave him a big smile and rubbed his hand down his back. 

Ian stared into his beer and rested his chin on his fist, maybe she decided not to come and that she couldn’t forgive him. If that’s how she felt he’d have to live with it but his eyes started to sting at the thought. She was happy Mickey was alive and she was doing good, that was enough for him. He circled his beer around the bar surface and Mickey was still rubbing his back and he could feel him looking at him. Mickey’s hand stopped and he took a long drink of his beer glancing at Mickey, he had a big grin on his face and he nodded toward the door. 

He turned his head and Mandy was at the door with her hand holding it open. He saw her smiling pretty face looking back out the door and he heard, 

“Jesus what is this place, are you sure this place is legal?” 

‘Heidi’ he thought and saw her stomp in behind Mandy. She stopped and scanned the room, her eyes fell on Ian and she smiled and her arms went out wide.

“I’m here!” she said and bounced over to them and landed in from of Mickey. 

“Hi.” She said. Mickey grabbed her around the neck with one arm and hugged her. “Yay.” She said and almost went over as Mickey turned her into him but Mickey held her up. 

“Oh my gosh, the plane was so crazy, there was this guy…..” she started and he heard Mickey laugh beside him. 

Ian’s eyes stayed on Mandy, she had watched Heidi bounce over with a little smile on her face. He waited until her eyes came to his, when they did he saw the hurt in them and she turned away looking over the crowd. Ian kept his eyes on her, she turned her eyes back to his and Ian gave her a little smile. 

“Mand!” he heard Heidi call out. “Get over here and tell your brother what that nasty guy did.” 

Mandy smiled and walked over to them. Heidi held out her hand to her and Mandy took it.

“Seriously, she saved my life! Well my skin anyway, guy was all grabby and out of the blue I hear “HEY!” like an angel from heaven.” She said in a sing song voice. Mandy laughed and lowered her head. Ian couldn’t take his eyes off of her, her hair was a really pretty brunette that brought out her eyes. She would look at him and look back at Heidi.

“They guy was all, oh she’s just a girl and she says….” Heidi paused for a dramatic affect.” “Get your hands off her or I’ll cut them off and feed them to your dog.” Mandy smiled and turned her head away. 

Ian knew Heidi could handle herself and was probably gearing up to kick the guy in the balls but Heidi never took a thing anyone did for granted. She made it known how amazing everyone was for whatever reason that made them special. 

“….he followed me off the plane like I was a bag o' peanuts he could take home.” She let out a long sigh. “Saved by a Milkovich angel….again.” and waved her hands up. 

“Beer?” Mickey said. 

“Yup” Heidi said and Mickey turned the stool around waving to Kev. Heidi went to the other side of Mickey and Ian and Mandy were left standing there staring at each other. 

Ian took a deep breathe. “Mandy… “She crossed her arms. “Mandy, I’m sorry.” He said quietly. She was focused on him and he knew she could hear him over the noise. 

“I wish I had been there.” He said and he felt tears in his eyes and bit his lip and looked down at the floor. 

“I just hope you can forgive me.” He said and brought his eyes up to hers, they were filling with tears along with his and she pushed at them quickly and shoved into him, her arms went around him and he hugged her hard saying, “I missed you so much!” She laughed and sniffed against his shoulder. 

He pulled back and held her face, she smiled and then her eyes changed.

“You got married?” she said in a low voice.

“Oh ah Ian...” He heard Mickey say and felt Mandy’s fist hit his gut. He doubled over and let out a gasp. 

“Too late.” He heard Mickey say. Mickey looked down at him and shook his head with an “Oow.” and hissed. 

He let out a laugh with his mouth wide open and looked up at her face, her lips were twisted up on one side and one eyebrow was up. 

“I told her we’re gonna get…” Mandy glared at Mickey and punched his shoulder. 

“Aright, alright.” He said with his hands up and turned back to the bar with a “Fuck.”

Ian straightened and smiled at her, she didn’t move.

“We’re getting married again, will you be there?” He asked.

Mandy twisted her face uncrossing her arms and glared at him. Ian smiled and tilted his head.

“Please.” He said.

“You don’t have to beg man she’ll fuck….” Heidi smacked the back of his head, his hands went up and he shook his head. “What the fuck!” He shot out. 

Mandy’s mouth spread into a slow smile and Ian smiled back at her. She jumped into his arms again and Ian swung her back and forth, holding her tightly. 

“Awww.” He heard Heidi say. He pulled his head away and felt Mandy elbow jab into his gut. 

“Omph.” He grunted.

“Ya, she’s gonna keep doin’ that.” Mickey said nodding and drank his beer. 

Heidi rushed over and pulled them both into a hug which wasn’t easy because she was so tiny.

“Yay, we’re all one big happy family.” She clapped her hands quickly and Ian saw Mandy’s face, she loved Heidi as much as he knew she would.

“Let’s get drunk!” Heidi said. 

“Yaaaay.” Mickey said dryly and drank his beer.

 

Ian and Mandy caught up and Heidi was chatting with Kev flirting like a motherfucker. She wasn’t supposed to be here for another few days but she had worked out whatever had been keeping here there and had come early. When Mickey had mentioned Heidi to Mandy she had asked a bunch of questions and Mandy had wanted her number, not really sure why she asked Mickey had given it to her. As he left he saw the phone in her hand and about two hours later Heidi had texted him and told him she was coming sooner and Mandy was picking her up at the airport. He was confused at first and thought, they didn’t even know each other?!

'Some girl thing.' he thought but he felt a sense of relief that they had talked. They had been through the same thing in different ways and figured they had a lot in common. 

He listened to Ian and Mandy chatter and looked over to the Gallagher bunch. They were scattered around talking and they kept looking over at him, he ignored them and kept drinking.

“What’s the date?” Mandy said.

“We don’t know yet but you’ll be there?” he asked with a smile.

Mandy nodded and held Ian’s arm. ‘Like an octopus that one.’ Mickey thought.

“Date for what?” Kev asked pouring Heidi a drink (on the house).

“Oh, ahh we’re going to do another wedding here.” Ian said. 

“YA!?” Kev said, his face lighting up into a happy smile. 

Ian nodded. 

“Alright man!” Kev said and poured Ian and Mickey two whiskeys and was called away to the other end of the bar. 

“Think if we keep telling him shit, he’ll keep givin’ us free booze?” Mickey asked with a wicked smile.

Ian nodded and his stool was being turned around, it was Heidi. 

“You’re getting married again? Seriously? Like for real for real?” She asked.

“Yep.” Ian said.

“OH. MY. GOSH.” She said. He eyes were wide and Mickey could swear he saw little hearts in them.

“Where? “She asked.

“Don’t know yet.” Ian looked around. “Here maybe?” 

‘OH FUCK.’ Mickey thought and glared at Ian, he opened his mouth and cocked his head. Ian laughed and Mickey narrowed his eyes at him but Ian just lifted an eyebrow and gave him a nodding smirk.

Heidi’s arms waved out and she had a ‘What the fuck are you crazy?’ look on her face.

She turned to Mickey and he waved his drink around and shrugged.

“Nooooo.” She said and shook her head. 

“In this shithole?” Mandy said.

Mandy and Heidi looked at each other with identical looks. ‘They’re crazy!’ their faces said. 

Ian shrugged and smiled as he brought his beer up to his lips. 

‘DEAD.’ Mickey glared at him. ‘DEAD.’ Ian shook with laughter as he read Mickey’s eyes. Ian looked back down at Heidi changing his face to a totally serious look. 

Heidi shook her head and looked at Ian like he was 12, a sweet incompetent man who knew nothing.

She sighed and rolled her eyes turning to Mandy. 

“How about a church, or maybe the courthouse? No too impersonal.” She said to Mandy.

“Ya.” Mandy said. “And a church? No. Like a backyard thing!?” 

Mickey rolled his eyes and his arm came down on the bar, they didn’t HAVE a backyard! They didn’t even have a home yet!

“OHH YES!” Heidi said as she motioned to Ian and he started to stand and he was pulled out of his stool.

“Like at sunset. Oooo.” Heidi said as she sat and turned the stool into the bar. Mandy smiled and nodded drinking her beer.

Ian stood behind them smiling and rolling back and forth on his feet. Mickey worked his jaw out and glared at him until his eyes came to his and he shot a hand up.

“REALLY!” He said and Ian laughed and came over to him, Mickey glared up at him as his arm came around his shoulder. Ian smiled wickedly and looked down at him pulling him into his chest. 

Mickey nodded with a smirk and called out to Kev,

“Whiskey, bottle!” and Ian laughed wildly. 

“Real fucking funny! HA!” He said as he poured whiskey into his glass.

“I saw this thing once on a wedding show where they had different colored sand that they poured into a jug.” He heard Heidi say. 

He slammed the shot back and heard Ian laugh, he immediately tipped the bottle over and poured another. 

 

The party had moved to the Gallagher house and Mickey was pretty drunk when they got there so it didn’t wig him out as much as it could have. Everyone else was pretty fucking drunk and they had the music up loud. He leaned against the door jamb of the kitchen watched Heidi and Mandy dance with a drunken smile on his face. He lifted the bottle of whiskey and took a hit as Ian came dancing over to him, he felt his heart swell and Ian slid his hand around his waist. 

Mickey lifted his mouth to his and Ian slipped his tongue over his lips. His eyes blurred and he felt his body fall back, he caught himself and Ian’s arm came around him.

“Whoa.” Ian said. 

“Hmmm.” Mickey murmured and opened his mouth and kissed Ian again, his hand reaching around under Ian’s shirt. 

Ian tilted his head back and Mickey looked at his gorgeous man through blurry eyes, he bit his lip as he moved his hand over Ian’s skin. 

“Mickey?” Ian said in a low voice.

“Mmm.” Mickey murmured and reached up to Ian’s neck.

“Are you drunk?” Ian asked. 

Mickey heard him speak but was too focused on the feel of his skin under his shirt and his eyes.

He pulled Ian in and Ian smiled against his lips and kissed him. Ian held him up and Mickey licked his lips as his head came away.

Ian stepped back bringing him forward and Mickey looked into his eyes as they moved. He turned him into the couch and lowered him steadily until he was seated. Ian sat next to him bringing his hand around his leg and relaxed into the couch with his eyes half closed. 

The song ended and Heidi came over and sat across his lap with her legs over Ian. She rested her head on his shoulder and he gave her a big drunk smile, she giggled and swung her arm around his neck and kissed his cheek. He held her around the waist and she closed her eyes with a sigh.

Mickey looked at Ian, he looked up at Mandy smiling down at him dancing to the new song and looked down Heidi in his lap. His heart and soul, his sister and the sister of his heart were all here with him. 

He smiled and thought, ‘I’m one lucky motherfucker.’ 

 

When everyone started heading upstairs or crashing where they were Ian saw Mickey was passed out sitting on the couch. It was rare to see Mickey drunk drunk and Ian let his eyes linger on him. He was completely still and thought he always looked young when he was asleep or in this case, passed out.

“Hey.” He whispered and rested his hand on his face, Mickey didn’t move. Ian smiled to himself and thought "Well, if I have to carry him I will." That’s what loving husbands, as Kev had called him were for.

“Hey baby” He said sweetly. Ian didn’t use pet names but he was pretty drunk and didn’t think it would hurt just this once. He lowered his mouth to Mickey’s and brushed his lips over his, Mickey smiled against his lips. 

“Come on.” He said and Mickey’s eyes opened a hair.

“We gotta get up and get to bed.” Ian said. 

“Ya?.” Mickey said with a sweet smile, even drunk the word ‘bed’ woke him up and Ian snickered. 

Ian stood holding his arm and pulled, Mickey came up and his body weight slammed into him. Ian caught him and held him around his waist. 

“Hmmm.” Mickey murmured. Ian saw his eyes flicker open, they were glazed and unfocused but he smiled at Ian’s touch. Mickey held onto his arm and he half pulled half pushed Mickey up the stairs, they almost went down once but they held each other up. Ian pushed Mickey with their arms together around his waist holding each other’s hands and looked in the first room. ‘Nope.” He said as they came to the first room, Fiona and some guy were on the bed. “Nope.” He said at the second room, Deb and some guy were on her bed “Nope” He said at the third room, Mandy and Heidi were passed out on what was his bed when he left. Ian led him forward and into his old room when he was a teenager and his old bed was empty.

“Ironic.” Ian thought through the haze of alcohol. He turned Mickey toward him and Mickey looked at him like he was the moon and the stars. Ian led him back to the bed and sat him down, Ian held his arms out around him for a few beats to make sure he didn’t go over and turned to close the door. Mickey was still looking up at him in that way, Ian sat with him and lifted Mickey’s shirt over his head. He stood fumbling with his jeans and pushed them down as Mickey went over on one side but at least it was toward the pillow, he tugged off Mickey's jeans and they dropped to the floor. Ian in his shirt and shorts lifted Mickey’s legs onto the bed and reached down for the blankets bringing them up over them as he got in next to Mickey. Ian was dizzy from the effort and closed his eyes to let the dizziness pass and wrapped his arm around Mickey’s waist.

Ian felt him looking at him and opened his eyes, Mickey’s eyes were hooded and on him, he lifted his hand to Mickey’s head and moved his fingers through his hair. 

“Here again.” Ian said and Mickey’s lips came up in a smile. He lifted his hand and closed it over Ian’s arm closing his eyes. Ian looked over his face and remembered the first time Mickey had spent the night here after he came home from the army, everything had changed between them that night. 

He and Mickey had talked about where Ian had been, but they had talked about only him until Ian had asked, “What about you?” 

Ian was facing him sitting crossed legged in the middle of his bed, scattered paper with doodles were on the bed between them. 

Mickey sat at the other end of the bed leaning against his wall, he had shrugged and looked away bringing his knee up and rested an arm over it. Ian could feel the unhappiness from him and more than that there was a darkness that hadn’t been there before. 

Mickey’s eyes came to his and he saw it, the pain he had felt while he was gone. He felt his heart hurt for him. 

He leaned forward and laid his lips on Mickey’s, Mickey’s lips came slowly to his but Ian felt him stop, Mickey pulled his mouth away and looked down. Ian could hear his ragged breath and he pulled his body forward sitting close to Mickey and held his face lifting it until he looked into his eyes. Ian looked into his broken eyes and smiled into them. Mickey lowered his leg and brought his arm around Ian but didn’t hold on to him. Ian felt the struggle in him and he kissed him sweetly, Mickey didn’t move and Ian kissed him again, Mickey kissed him back but looked into his eyes pulling away. Ian had rested his hand on his leg and waited, Mickey had searched his face and Ian had let him see he still felt the same way about him and would still love all of his broken edges. Mickey had lifted his hand to his neck and let out a slow breath, he had looked into his eyes and pulled Ian in for a long slow kiss. 

Ian thought Mickey had fallen asleep while he was remembering and looking over Mickey’s face but he opened his eyes and looked into his.

“It was so bad.” He said.

“What?” Ian asked quietly. He was surprised at the statement Mickey would talk about his feelings but in a roundabout way.

“Without you.” He said. 

Ian realized they were thinking about the same thing. 

Ian rubbed his hand over his head and back. 

“I know baby.” He said quietly. “It was a bad time.”

“Didn’t think you were coming back.” Mickey said and held Ian’s arm in a tight grip.

“I did though, you came and found me.” He said with a smile in his voice. 

Mickey had found him and brought him home. He had been high as a fucking kite but he remembered one thing from that night with absolute clarity, Mickey had called him by his name for the first time. Before that night he had always called him ‘Gallagher’ and Ian had never, not once heard Mickey say his first name. He heard it even through the chemical stew and the shock of seeing him at the club. He had said it quietly and Ian had heard his tone and it had gone through his drugged haze and right into his heart. 

“I felt you.” Mickey said. 

“What?” Ian asked and Mickey’s eyes closed. 

 

Mickey heard the question and remembered the moment in the club moving quickly and for one instant he felt a deep sense of connection that clicked through him. He looked to his left and saw a dancer in black moving and saw the way he was moving and immediately knew that body. 

Ian. 

He saw the flash of light that washed over him and he saw the red hair. His heart had started beating again and he felt like his world tipped back into place. 

“Everything clicked.” He said and that’s the only way he could explain it. 

He felt Ian wrap his arms tighter around him and kiss his forehead, his cheek and over his lips. 

“I shouldn’t have left.” Ian said. 

“Ya you should’ve.” He said. 

He tried to make his whiskey filled brain work, he wanted to tell Ian what he should have then but couldn’t. 

“I wouldn’t have known.” He said.

“Known what?” Ian asked softly. 

“I didn’t want to ever live without you.” Mickey said. Ian wrapped his arms around him and kissed him softly. Mickey moved his mouth over his and felt a weight lift off of him. He knew now saying the words was like breaking down the bad memories of their past and letting them go piece by piece.


	10. Chapter 10

Mickey walked up the steps to their apartment building and unlocked the outside door, he let it close and made sure it was secure before he walked down the hall to their door at the end of the hall. He unlocked the two deadbolts he had installed on their door and he moved into their apartment and carefully locked the doors again. He threw his gloves and keys from his pocket on the table by the door and moved through the almost empty living room. 

There were only four pieces of furniture, the table by the door, a brand new black couch with a coffee table in front of it and a TV that hung on the wall. The windows were a bit large and too accessible he had said when they had looked at the apartment but Ian liked the light and he figured they weren’t facing the street so that was something. He had also put up blinds in every window before they had even moved in. 

They had taken Fiona up on her offer to take the apartment and been home for a little over a month. The building was on a little side street and they he had helped her out here and there, fixing shit and gutting a bathroom to get one of the apartments ready to rent. 

He took out a beer from the refrigerator and looked over the mail on the counter, he still was a little shocked to see his name or Ian’s in print but it was getting easier. Two years of living as someone else wasn’t easy and it was even harder to be yourself again when it was over. 

He saw a RSVP envelope in the mix of the mail, they had come pretty much every day for two weeks.

‘Kinda late.’ He thought. They were getting married tomorrow. He lifted it leaning against the counter and drank his beer. 

“Hmm.” He murmured against his beer and opened it. He saw Trevor’s name and his eyebrows went up.

“Pussy Trevor huh.” he said out loud and saw he had a plus one. 

“Ya, minus two would be better for you bitch.” He said and threw the invitation down. He drank his beer and headed to their bedroom, there was only a big bed and their dresser with the missing mirror in the room so far. The dresser was the only piece of furniture they had brought with them from Iowa. Frick had had it sent it out to them when they had told him they had an apartment and it was the only piece of furniture they had had for three days. They had camped out on the floor on an air mattress in the living room. They ate there, they slept there, they banged there, Mickey thought with a smile.

‘Pretty durable fucking air mattress.’ he thought still smiling. 

People had come, endless fucking people came to see them and they’d stay for hours talking to Ian or him. It was tough to get used to after it being only him and Ian for so long. Oh and the Gallaghers, walking in and out all hours of the day and night. 

‘Just come on in, it’s not like a Mexican cartel hit man could stop by and shoot up the place any fucking minute but please sit, drink my beer and talk your face off.’ Mickey thought with a scowl. But he thought of Ian and how fucking happy he was when they would show up just to see him. 

He stripped and turned on the shower, the water hit him hard on his neck and shoulders and he let out a sigh pushing his hair over his face and let his mind float. They were good here, it was the same but he had changed in a lot of ways so the old problems were manageable. He got a job with Tommy and that had been really fucking funny, Tommy had thought he was fucking with him until he showed up the first day, he had laughed and pointed him toward a sledgehammer and Mickey’s face had lit up when he had seen it. They were going to be using explosives soon and Mickey had been doing his best to get Tommy to let him in on it but Tommy was fighting him about it. Mickey smiled and knew he’s talk him into it eventually.

Mickey took his time in the shower, Ian wasn’t coming home until 7 and he had three hours to kill. All day he had been thinking about what he should do, but it wasn’t something he wanted to do. There was still a chain he felt holding him and he wanted it fucking gone, it held him around the fucking neck and he could feel it squeezing him tighter every day. 

Iggy had written him back from prison and told him about what was going on with everyone, including his father. He wasn’t dead like Mickey had wished, he was alive and out of prison. He had read the letter and his brain had stopped and his breath stuck in his chest when he read the words, ‘Terry’s out and home.’

Mickey knew ‘home’ meant the house and he was 5 fucking blocks away. He had dropped the letter and pushed his hands against the counter bending at the waist. He had taken ragged breathes and said “FUCK.” slamming his fist down to the counter. He had stood up reaching for the letter when he heard Ian come in.

“What’s up?” Ian had asked. 

“Nothin.’ He had said and stuffed the letter in his pocket. He crossed his arms over the counter and kept his back to Ian craving whiskey, he wanted to drink a whole fucking bottle but if he did Ian would know something was up. 

“We should get going.” Ian said and came up beside him wrapping his arm around his waist.

Mickey nodded. “Ya.”They were going out with Mandy and Heidi. “Just give me a minute.” He said and squeezed Ian’s arm but kept his eyes away from his. He walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, he paced and sat on the end of the bed with his head in his hands. If he ever saw his dad he would kill him, there was no question about it. 

For what he did to him and for what he did to Ian.

He would do it and he’d go back to prison, there were no free rides anymore. He held his hands together in front of him tightly and lifted his feet up trying to get rid of some of the tension in his body. Ian would see it but he could play it off as something else if he calmed the fuck down. Ian couldn’t know he was here and that was definite, Ian would react the same way he was but worse. The only person Ian hated in this world was his father, if he was mentioned Ian’s face would change to venomous hate. He hated seeing Ian hate anyone, it wasn’t like him. He was so caring to everyone and so forgiving, he loved his sweet heart and his tough spirit but when it came to his father Mickey could see in Ian eyes the memory of him beaten and being forced at gunpoint to have sex with a woman in front of him. 

It had nearly broken him and he had lost his fucking mind for a while. The only thing had kept him from not sticking a gun in his mouth was the residue of the feelings he had had the night before. He had blocked them out but his heart still felt the edges of that night with Ian. 

Ian had opened the door and he had stood up and headed toward him.

“Ready.” Ian said.

“Ya man.” he had said smiling giving Ian a quick kiss. “Let’s go.”

 

Mickey stepped out of the shower and dried himself weighing the pros and cons of facing this head on. If he saw him without it being a surprise he could prepare himself, but if they saw him by surprise and his father even looked at Ian he would lose his shit and there was no telling what Ian would do. He rubbed the towel over his hair and stuffed it into the towel rack and turned toward the steamy mirror. He saw himself and knew he looked very different than when he left Chicago, he looked rested and happy and not stressed all the time. His hair was shorter, he had just had it cut yesterday for the big thing tomorrow, it was short on the sides and longer on the top the way he always had it before Iowa. 

Ian had really liked it, he had smiled at him with a long look with narrowed eyes and a wicked smile. 

He pushed gel through his hair and tried to talk himself out of it. 

‘Who the fuck cares?' He smirked and wiped the gel off his hand with a towel. 

"Forget it." he said to himself as he checked his hair was right and picked up a toothbrush.

‘If we see him, maybe he’ll just ignore us.’ He thought as he brushed his teeth crossing his arms. 

“HA, right.” He said to himself and spit out the toothpaste. He turned on the tap and lifted water to his mouth, he spit it out and straightened looking back at himself in the mirror. 

‘Well what are ya gonna do.’ He thought and looked in the mirror and as it always was, his first thought was of Ian. Ian would beat the fuck out of him until he stopped breathing. 

“OK bitch, let’s do this.” He said to himself and turned into the bedroom to put his ring on and get dressed. 

 

Mickey walked up to the house quickly and threw away the butt as he took the stairs two at a time. He shoved the door open and walked into the dark smoky living room. The first thing that hit him was the smell, it smelled exactly the same like mold and cigarettes. 

He stepped in and saw him sitting in the middle of the couch that had been here for years. Terry glanced up and froze, Mickey watched his face change into a snarl. Mickey didn’t make a move, he stood in the half light and looked at the man who had terrified him all off his life. 

“What the fuck?” Terry growled and shoved himself up. 

Mickey didn’t move and looked down at the couch, it had been here for years and it was now torn up from wear and broken down into the floor. It was the couch he had been bent over when his father had walked in on them, it was the couch he had been forced to fuck Svetlana on. He looked up at the man who had beaten him, beaten Ian and had made a whore fuck him while Ian had watched with disgust on his face and raging pain for him in his eyes. Mickey stood his ground and Terry got in his face, his arms came up around Mickey with clenched fists. 

Mickey didn’t flinch. 

“What the FUCK are you doin’ here faggot?” He snarled.

Mickey didn’t react, Terry straightened in surprise that Mickey didn’t take a swing at him.

“I came for my shit.” He said.

“Nothin’ here is yours you cock suckin’ queer.” He sneered and took a step and Mickey didn’t step back, he moved to his left and started walking toward his old bedroom.

“Get the fuck outta my house.” He heard and Terry stomped behind him. Mickey turned into his room and held his body weight against the door until it closed and flipped the lock while Terry tried to push in the room. 

“GET OUT!” GET THE FUCK OUT.” He yelled and pounded on the door

Mickey stepped away, he didn’t see the room looked different, he didn’t see the posters were gone and nothing here was his except the bed. It was in the same position and the bed side tables were still there. Terry pounded and growled through the door and Mickey walked around the bed to his bedside table, he shoved it out from the wall and knelt on the floor and moved away the piece of board that looked like it fit into the wall but behind it was a hole he had made when they had changed the house and only he knew about it. 

He reached in and took out the two boxes and slid the board back in place. Terry had stopped pounding on the door but Mickey was sure he was still out there. He moved the side table back in place and held the boxes in his hands. One was an old shoebox and the other was smaller, it was the wood box his mother had had on her dresser for as long as he could remember, it was small and had red and pink roses on the top and gold hinges. He sat down on the bed lowering the shoebox to his side and opened his mothers box, there was some cheap jewelry that had turned green over time and one gold ring with a purple stone she always had on her finger, it had been her mothers. Memories of his mother swirled in his mind as he moved the jewelry around with his finger. 

“Mickey.” She’d call out when he’d hide from her. “Mickey.” She’d call and he’d giggle. She’d come around the corner and put her hands up. “There you are.” and he’d run until she chased after him. 

She’d always say “Full of mischief that one.” and wink at him. 

He picked up the ring with the tip of his finger and felt the worn soft metal against his skin. He wondered if she were here what she’d think of his life with Ian and realized he didn’t know, he had never heard her talk about it. Terry always had something to say about ‘fags’ and 'queers' but he tried to remember her saying those words and he couldn’t remember her ever saying them once. 

He let the ring slip off his finger and closed the box, he set it down on top of the shoe box and picked them up moving toward the door, he took a deep breath and opened it, Terry wasn’t there. As he walked to the living room he saw his head over the top of the couch and smoke streaming up around him. He didn’t make a move as Mickey came into the living room, he stared at the television and took a drink from a bottle of rot gut. Mickey stopped and looked down at him and realized he was broken down and torn up just like the couch he sat on. 

Mickey put the boxes down on the table by the door and stepped into the doorway of the living room bracing on his legs and crossed his arms over his chest. He wasn’t afraid of him anymore, he was just a dirty old man who was totally alone. 

“We’re in Chicago.” He said in a low voice. Terry ignored him. 

“’WE, as in me and Ian.” He said. Terry’s face changed to a snarl but didn’t turn to him. 

“If I ever see or hear of you even looking at Ian I will make sure you never see the outside of a prison again.” Terry turned his glaring eyes at him.

“You don’t touch him, you don’t look at him, you don’t breath near him.” He said in a low even tone. 

Terry sat forward and started to rise. Mickey whipped the gun out from his waist and was on him in a flash. He shoved him down with his elbow and knee until he was pinned against the couch, his eyes glared with hate and Mickey brought the gun up to the side of his head. 

“You don’t have the balls, faggot.” Terry growled out. 

Mickey brought his lips back into a cold deadly smile, he pulled the trigger back until it clicked and Terry’s eyes flashed with fear and anger. 

“You ever come near us I will beat you like you've never been beaten before.” He said evenly, his eyes on Terry’s. He saw his eyes burn brightly with anger and fear but he saw that he believed him. 

“Cuz I won’t kill you, oh no. I wouldn’t waste my life with Ian on a piece of shit like you.” He said with venom dripping from his voice.

“But I will have you sent to the nastiest, dirtiest Mexican prison where you can find out all about what cock sucking queers like me do to filthy rednecks like you.” He said very quietly with a sneer.

“You hear me?” He asked a low clear voice and pushed the gun hard into his temple until Terry’s head turned and his eyes looked away. 

Terry glared at him as he stepped back and kept the gun up until he was at the doorway.

He smiled as he realized Terry was low on the couch with his arms out beside him in the position he had been when Svetlana had walked in the door. 

“Oh AND your AIDS monkey son is married to the red headed queer.” He said holding up his left hand wiggling his fingers with a wicked smile. He laughed shoving the gun around his back into his waistband and picked up the boxes from the table. 

He pulled open the door and it slammed against the wall, he walked through the door and didn’t look back as he walked down the steps with the boxes under his arm laughing wickedly all the way.

 

Mickey was being shoved down the hall of their building with Ian’s tongue down his throat. They moved together, hands groping, mouths opening and closing together. Mickey was slammed against their door and he pulled his mouth away and turned around reaching into his pocket for the key while Ian’s fingernails dug across his chest under his shirt and his mouth bit into his neck. 

“Fuck.” He said as his fingers fumbled with the keys and his eyes started to close, he leaned into Ian and pushed the key in the lock as Ian stuck his hand under the waistband of his jeans.

“Hurry up.” Ian hissed in his ear and bit it. 

Mickey focused on the second key and not Ian’s hand moving down to his cock. He felt the click and twisted the doorknob pulling Ian in by his arm and bringing his mouth up, Ian sank his mouth over his and kicked the door closed. Mickey felt Ian’s grip on his wrist and was turned around toward him, Ian kept his tight grip on him and Mickey pushed Ian into the wall with his hands and mouth. Ian hit the wall never breaking from Mickey’s mouth and Mickey shoved Ian’s shirt up and over his head. Mickey lowered his mouth on Ian’s chest tasting his skin, trailing his tongue over him and brought his mouth back to Ian’s. Ian’s nails moved over him and he felt goosebumps and hissed into Ian’s mouth, he felt Ian’s ragged breath and his hard cock through his jeans. Mickey brought his hand up to Ian’s chest and stepped back with his eyes on Ian moving into the moonlight that streamed through the windows. He brought his hands up to the bottom of his shirt and lifted it and Ian watched him breathing heavily, his shirt came over his head and he let it fall to the floor.

Ian’s eyes moved over him and he saw Ian straighten up from the wall.

“What do you want?” he said in a low hot tone. “Mm?” he murmured with his teeth over his bottom lip and saw Ian walk to him in the moonlight. 

Ian’s hands came up his sides and Mickey looked into his hot eyes as they moved over his chest and face. Mickey didn’t move and he felt Ian’s hands on him, Ian lowered his mouth to his shoulder and slid his teeth over it, he let out a long breath and felt Ian’s mouth move to the corner of his neck and shoulder and his tongue and mouth slid over his skin. 

“You….I want you.” Ian said and brought his lips up to his and his tongue slipped out and Mickey opened his lips and felt Ian’s tongue cross his lips. Ian moved his hands over his back and chest and Mickey felt the want from Ian like a wave pulling him in. Ian held his neck and deepened the kiss and Mickey moved his hands to Ian’s jeans, their eyes locked and Ian’s eyes rolled as he dug the tips of his fingers into his hips and pushed them down. Mickey brought his hand around his cock and Ian’s breath stopped, he held him in his hand and slid his tongue through his teeth into Ian’s half parted lips. He moved his hand a fraction and felt Ian's mouth widen. 

“MMM.” Mickey murmured and took a half step back, bringing his hand up and over Ian’s chest with his eyes hot. He slipped his tongue out to Ian's and smiled wickedly as Ian yanked at his jeans to open his fly. 

Mickey teeth went down over his bottom lip and brought his hand up to Ian's face. 

“Tell me.” He said again sliding his thumb over Ian’s open wet lips, Ian licked his thumb and took it into into his mouth. Mickey’s ragged breath stopped, his head rushed and his whole body raged. 

“Skin… taste you...” Ian hissed with a ragged breath and shoved Mickey’s jeans down and his mouth moved over his neck. He felt Ian’s skin hot under his hands and his muscles were tight, his body was shaking with need. Mickeys fingers gripped the side Ian’s neck as he lowered his mouth over his chest, Mickey looked down at his face an watched his tongue tease over the head of his cock and searing pleasure shot through him.

“Ahhh fuck.” He moaned and Ian closed his eyes and moved his head forward to take him in completely. He felt the waves of heat and lust breaking through him from Ian's mouth and tongue. Mickey’s eyes rolled as Ian’s mouth moved over it with his hands gripping his hips tightly. Ian swirled his tongue faster and he was hissing in ragged breaths around his cock. Mickey felt his mouth, his breath and his hunger for him.

“You wanna make me cum? Mm?” Mickey said in a low hot tone and saw Ian’s hot eyes looking up into his. Ian answered by sucking harder and Mickey felt his body buckle as came hot and hard into Ian’s wet mouth. 

Ian bit his hip and his mouth and tongue moved up over his belly and chest as he stood up gripping his fingers into Mickey’s waist. Ian kissed him desperately and Mickeys fingers moved lightly over his sides and he felt Ian shiver.

Ian’s mouth moved deeper into his and he heard Ian let out a needy moan, his head spun and his legs took a shaky step back as Ian’s hand at his waist pushed him back. Mickey hand held his wrist and turned him into the wall and Ian went back against it. Mickey moved both hands up his waist and chest and let his mouth linger and tease over his mouth. 

Ian’s hands moved over his arms to his wrists and swung him around through the door and he stepped back with his eyes locked on Ian’s hungry face, he was breathing heavily and he felt Ian push him back onto the bed and Ian was over him pushing his arms over his head by his wrists. Mickey pushed against him and Ian held him tighter, he slammed his mouth down into his and Mickey tilted his head and lifted it to take all the need and heat rolling off of Ian. He felt Ian shift over him and he growled bringing the bottle of lube to his cock and looked down long enough to cover himself with the hot lube while holding Mickey’s hands together with one hand. 

Mickey hissed in and out watching him. 

Ian brought his other arm up over their heads and their hands and eyes locked. 

“I love you.” Mickey said in a low voice, he watched Ian’s eyes flash with need and love. 

Ian’s mouth came down to his and he opened his mouth and took in Ian’s tongue. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” Ian repeated over and over as his mouth moved over his lips and down to his throat. He felt the air move through his lungs, he felt all the love pouring out Ian and there was nothing else in the world. 

Ian braced over him and he thrust into Mickey with his eyes on his, Mickey arched and let out a sharp gasp. He watched Ian as he shifted his weight over him, his eyes hot and his mouth open. Mickey held his hands and felt Ian’s hot cock in him, Ian sat up bringing Mickey’s arms down and held his hips hard and moved into him with quick thrusts. Mickey moved under him and gripped his arms, their eyes still locked. Ian let go of his hip and Mickey’s hand came to his and their hands came together tightly over them as Ian stopped and held his breath, he watched Ian come through half lidded eyes, he watched him tense and suck in air through clenched teeth and Mickey felt the rush of watching Ian feel.

Ian swayed and Mickey held him up with his hand at his waist and their locked fingers, he lowered him down to him and Ian was panting over his shoulder. He moved his hand to his head and turned Ian’s face out so he could breathe. He let his chest fill and empty of air and he felt absolute peace settle in him. He brought his hand over Ian’s side and felt Ian’s heart pounding against him and felt his chest rise and fall settling into a steady pattern. Mickey stroked his side and back and kissed the inside of his neck and felt Ian smile against his shoulder. He moved his hand up his neck and moved his hand into his hair and Ian turned his head and lifted his face over his, Mickey held his neck and lifted his lips and kissed him, he felt Ian’s fingers tighten around his. Mickey let his head fall back to the bed and looked into Ian’s glazed eyes and brought his hand up to his jaw.

Ian’s eyes flickered with love and pleasure and his lips turned up at the corners, Ian looked into him and he felt all the weight of him and his heart against his chest, Ian’s hand came to his face and he kissed him sweetly.

Ian lifted his head with a big grin and they smiled at each other. Ian brought his mouth down again for a quick kiss and moved his body to the side laying half on his stomach and half on Mickey bringing their hands across Mickey’s chest.

They had left the bar pretty early for what was considered their ‘bachelor party,’ which Mickey though was kind of stupid since they were already married but it was a chance to go out before the whole big thing tomorrow. Ian had been watching Mickey for most of the night, he would look over and Ian would be staring at him. Ian would smile but Mickey would catch the look in his eyes before he smiled. 

“Hmm.” He said to himself putting his beer on the bar and walked over to Ian. He was talking to Debbie and Mandy and he came between them and grabbed Ian’s wrist and pulled back with him, Ian laughed to them and put up a finger. 

“Right back.” He said.

Ian turned around to him and Mickey let his eyes go hot in a room full of people.

“Whatcha lookin’ at? He said and moved his hand over Ian’s waist and still had his hand gripped tightly around his wrist. 

Ian took a step forward and said,

“You.” He pulled him in by the waist and lowered his mouth to his ear and Mickey felt his hot breath over his skin and his eyes closed as he felt the rush of heat that surged in him just from feeling his breath. 

“I want to take you home.” he said and bit the top of Mickey’s ear. Mickey’s hands had gripped into his side and into his wrist. He looked up at Ian and his eyes were hot and his whole body felt like it had been coiled up into a spring. He stepped back and brought Ian’s hand with him and pulled out the door.

They had almost gone at it right on a fence on the way home but a dog had almost bit Ian’s ass against the fence Mickey had shoved him up against. They had laughed the rest of the way home until they saw their place and Mickey had pulled him in for a long kiss, they had somehow managed to get inside the apartment without stripping each other.

“Whooo.” Mickey said in a low hot voice. “Mm hm, now that’s my idea of a bachelor party.” He said and Ian laughed beside him. 

 

Mickey opened his eyes and the sun was streaming through the window. He let his body wake up slowly and sensed Ian wasn’t in the bed with him. He rolled on his back and saw the bed empty and pushed his hands over his face and let his arms relax on the bed, he smiled slowly closing his eyes feeling last night come back to him.

‘I guess he really likes the haircut’ He thought and his gut rolled and his chest tightened. He opened his eyes and wondered if Ian was in the kitchen. He sat up and grabbed a smoke, taking in a long slow drag and thought,

“Nine years and it was still hot as fuck every single time.” He bit his lip and his eyes lit up thinking about finding Ian and doing it all over again, or maybe this time he’d just shove his jeans off and suck him off right at the kitchen table. 

‘That would be a nice good morning surprise.’ He thought and laughed walking into the kitchen naked, but he didn’t see Ian. He walked far enough to see Ian wasn’t in the living room.

“Shit.” He said taking a drag and turned back into the kitchen. He saw the note on the counter and walked around it and read Ian’s messy handwriting.

‘M-Had some stuff to get, Heidi’s orders. ‘Mickey smiled. 

Heidi was a drill sergeant and they all fell in line with her. When Heidi said get stuff, they got stuff. Mickey would scowl and bitch and Heidi would give him her best pout and Mickey would do what she asked bitching all the fucking way.

‘Round 2 when I get home. Love you- I’ 

The one sentence with “Lets fuck and I love you.” pretty much made him perfect. Mickey leaned on the counter and held his head in his hand smiling down at it leaning over the counter. 

He glanced at the coffeemaker and saw the pot was full and smiled wider. He straightened up with a smile still on his face when he heard a knock at the door and froze. His body tightened and his mind clicked into protect mode. He shoved the smoke in the ashtray and stepped back turning into the bedroom quickly and reached under his side of the bed for the gun. 

He walked through the living room and heard another knock at the door and stepped into his shorts and jeans on the floor and pulled them up, he walked in bare feet to the peep hole and looked through it, he saw Frick turned sideways with his hands on his hips. 

“Jesus.” He said and brought the gun down. He rubbed his hand over his face and opened the door stepping back. 

“Hey.” He said and walked toward the kitchen zipping up his jeans. Frick walked behind him.

“What the hell?” he said.

“What?” Mickey said and put the gun down on the counter. 

“You can’t have that.” Frick said. 

“The fuck I can’t.” Mickey burst out as his opened the cabinet and took out two mugs.

Frick eyed him and Mickey just smirked.

“I see nothing.” He said to himself. Mickey nodded with the smirk still on his face and poured coffee into a mug and shoved it over to him. Frick sat in one of the bar stools on the other side of the counter and put down a large manila envelope on the counter.

“How the fuck’d you get in?” Mickey asked. 

“Someone was walking out and they held the door open.” Frick said.

“Oh fucking great.” He said and rolled his eyes. 

“Nice.” Frick said looking around. 

“Ya, Ian’s sister owns the building so we get a break on the rent if we help out with shit.” He said pouring coffee for himself. 

Frick nodded and drank from his mug, Mickey took a sip of his coffee glancing at the large envelope. The last time he brought one of those was when they were first out or witness protection, it had their passports and their ID’s in it and a bank book with the rest of Ian’s money. 

He picked up the gun and turned toward the bedroom, he stuffed it back under the mattress and opened a drawer of the dresser and pulled out one of Ian’s shirts. He stepped back into the kitchen bringing it down over his chest. 

Frick was drinking his coffee and his eyes were on the note Ian had left for him. Mickey walked up to the counter and put his hand over it bringing it toward him, he turned away from Frick and put the note on the counter beside the refrigerator and leaned against it. 

“So?” Mickey said. He looked down at the floor and his whole body was tense, if they had to go back he didn’t know how he was going to tell Ian. 

“Hmph?” Frick said.

Mickey looked up with his jaw out and nodded his head up toward the envelope. 

“Oh Jesus no.” Frick said and laughed. 

Mickey relaxed and stepped up to the counter across from him. 

“Thank Christ man.” He said and shook his head with his eye wide. 

Frick laughed at the look on his face and shook his head. 

“Nope, it’s for you.” He said.

“Huh?” Mickey said.

 

Sutter saw his confusion and laughed again, he knew now the push from Mickey was because he truly didn’t understand people could care for him. Respect him, yes. Fear him, you better but anyone caring for him was tough for him to figure. He had seen it when Mickey looked at Ian sometimes in the safe house, there was a sliver of doubt and not about Ian but about why Ian loved him. He didn’t see that look anymore, Mickey was happy as hell and he was really happy for him.

“It’s for you and Ian.” Frick said.

“Oh.” He said still confused. Sutter shook his head at him.

“It’s a wedding gift ya idiot” He said with a smile.

Mickey’s face twisted up and he looked at him with confused eyes.

“Why didn’t you just bring it later, why are you here at oh…” he looked at the clock. “10 fucking A.M.?

“Later?” Sutter asked. The wedding was later. He brought his eyebrows together and looked at Mickey. Did he just invite him to the wedding?

“Ian told you about it right?” Mickey said.

“Yeah.” He said.

“Alright.” He said waving his hands out with his mug in one and swung it up to his mouth. 

He watched him drink quickly and he said,

“I didn’t get an invitation I just assumed..” he trailed off as Mickey waved his hand up.

“Nah, you don’t send invitations to like fam…” Mickey stopped short.

He had been about to say family and he couldn’t have been more stunned if Mickey had picked up the gun and shot him.

“Anyway man, you’re comin’ cuz Ian will be pissed if you don’t …and bring that salad shit he likes. Mm.” He said drinking his coffee nodding.

“The pasta salad?” Frick said dumbfounded but remembered Ian loved his pasta salad. 

Mickey nodded and waved his hand.

“Ya man, whatever.” He said taking a long drink of his coffee.

Sutter watched him try and recover from his slip of the tongue and smiled into his coffee. You didn’t send invitations to family because they knew about it and were expected to be there and he was quite touched to be included into Ian and Mickey’s family. He had come into this job with a cold heart thinking Mickey had no redeeming qualities and for the past two years had watched him, he had seen outward flaws but not one flaw in his character. Yes, he was brash and tough but when it came right down to it he was loyal to the bone and loved Ian with every beat of his heart. 

“Can I bring Ginny?” He asked. He knew the answer was yes but wanted to see Mickey’s reaction.

Mickey tilted his head and looked at him like he had lost his mind. 

“Jesus man, the fuck’s wrong with you?” He said shaking his head.

Mickey drank his coffee looking over the rim at the envelope. 

“You can open it.” Sutter said. 

Mickey flicked his eyes up to Frick and smiled as his mug came away from his face. 

“I should wait for Ian but….”

He reached over and grabbed the envelope and pulled it toward him.

“He’s not here is he?” he said with a wicked cackle and Sutter watched him open it and look in like he’d figure out what it was before he pulled it out.

He stuck his hand in and slid the envelope away from the binder, there was with one single sheet of paper on the top and Mickey looked down at it. 

Frick watched his eyes change from excited to confused and then they went soft as he saw his name and Ian’s on a marriage certificate that had been locked up in a box for the past two years.

Mickey lifted it and his smile came and his whole face brightened, he nodded and held it in both hands.

“Ian will love this man” he said and bit over his bottom smiling lip.

“It was locked up since the day you got married.” He said.

Mickey nodded and looked over at him, his eyes were bright and smiling and Frick felt himself smile back at his happiness.

Mickey carefully laid the marriage certificate down and picked up the binder.

He picked up his coffee and looked at the counter trying not to smile.

“What’s this?” Mickey asked as he flipped through the binder bracing his elbows on the counter.

Mickey knew what it was, it was his deal with the Feds but Mickey was asking why he had given it to him. 

He waited until something caught Mickey’s eyes and he lowered the binder to the counter and he saw his eyes reading quickly and his eyebrows furrow, he stopped reading tilting his head and Sutter almost laughed when he saw his eyes go back up to the top of the page and read it again instead of asking him to explain.

“The fuck?” he said as he read.

Sutter did laugh then, his face was turned and one hand was on the binder, the other was up in the air beside him.

Mickey brought his head up without changing his expression and Sutter laughed pushing himself back in the chair.

“What the fuck?” Mickey shot out and stood up holding arms out, he looked down at the binder and up at him. Sutter smiled and saw Mickey start to understand. 

Frick put his tongue on the corner of his mouth in a very Mickey move and shrugged.

Mickey lifted his eyebrows and cocked his head.

“Oh really?” Mickey said.

“Ya.” He said and crossed his arms.

“Hm.” Mickey said but his eyes lit up. 

Sutter laughed and said. “He was going with you either way.” 

“You told him we had to get fucking married.” He said each word like a bullet and turned his head with his eyes wide. 

“I did.” He said.

“Why?” Mickey said bringing his arms out wide and shaking his head. 

“You were already married I just told him you had to make it official.” He said. 

Mickey’s face twisted up again. “Huh?” he said.

“If I had told him it was in the deal that he could just go, would you have let him?” Sutter asked. 

Mickey’s face fell and he let his arms fall with the binder in it, he bit the inside of his cheek and looked down at the counter and Frick saw his eyes go to the certificate with his and Ian’s names. 

Mickey lifted the binder and smiled, he dropped it on the counter and braced his elbows over it and held his head on the palm of his hand.

Sutter watched him look over the certificate and binder with soft eyes as he swayed forward and back against the counter.

“You did this?” He asked and looked at him.

“Yeah.” he said. He had made an entry into the deal on his own after he had seen Ian react to Mickey being alive. He knew Ian would go with him and he had headed to the office that night while they had slept and typed up an addition to Mickey’s deal. 

“You were fucking with him?” Mickey asked his hand going up again.

“No.” Sutter said. He paused and didn’t know how to say why he had told Ian they had to get married for him to go with Mickey. He held the handle of his coffee mug and said,

“What you have with Ian, that’s rare and I don’t know if you know it.” He watched Mickey as he straightened up and held his gaze.

“If he hadn’t gone with you, you wouldn’t have survived a year.” He said and Mickey’s gaze flickered down to the counter, he crossed his arms and his head tilted down.

“You weren’t married legally but from what I saw when you two were together?” He said with a tilt of his head. “That my friend, is MARRIED.”

Mickey let out a sputtering laugh with an eye roll.

“Worked out though.” Sutter said and held up his mug.

“Fuckin' lucky it did.” Mickey said. 

"I know." Sutter said.

Mickey tilted his head and said, “So you gonna bring that pasta thing?” 

“Yeah.” Frick said nodding. Guess he had to make a call and have Ginny change her plans for today, they were going to a wedding and bringing a pasta thing. 

 

Mickey propped the certificate on the dresser for Ian to see when he got home and opened the top drawer and lowered the binder into it, he wasn’t sure when he was going to tell Ian about that but it definitely wasn’t going to be today. Mickey knew the why Ian had wanted this wedding, yeah it was for his family and it was a big party and all that but there was something he wasn’t saying and the binder would bring it out into the open. 

He walked back into the kitchen and Frick was pouring himself more coffee into Mickey’s mug. Mickey opened another cabinet and brought the whiskey down, he twisted off the cap and poured a big splash into his mug. He nodded at Frick and motioned with the bottle.

“No, I have to drive.” Frick said

“Pussy.” Mickey said with no heat and twisted the cap back on.

“It’s 10 A.M.” Frick said.

“Ya well you’re not the one having to deal with all these fucking people.” He said holding the whiskey bottle out to him. 

“Yeah, it’s tough when you first get back.” 

“Fucking A.” Mickey said and heaved out a breath. He picked up the mug and held it out.

“But hey it’s a party man.” He said and smiled as he hit the side of Frick’s coffee mug that sat on the counter. 

There was a knock at the door and both their heads whipped around to look at it. Frick held his hand up and started toward the door. Mickey walked around the counter, he looked through the peep home and Mickey waited for him to unlock the door, he didn’t but did put his hand on his gun and Mickey immediately tensed and clenched his fists.

“Hellllloo.” He heard and a light tapping on the door.

“There’s no one out there.” Frick said.

“Look down.” Mickey said.

“Oh huh.” He said while Mickey moved around him and turned the locks himself. He turned the knob and Heidi was carrying overstuffed bags and stepped toward him, he automatically held out his arms to take the bags.

“Oh thanks. What took you so long?” She smiled at Mickey and turned her eyes and saw Frick and Mickey saw the surprise in her eyes.

“Oh hello.” She said lightly.

“Hi.” Frick said.

Mickey carried the bags and dumped them on the couch, he turned around and Heidi was giving him a ‘What the fuck.’ look while Frick walked back to the stool. He put his hands out and she glared at him, he crossed his arms and let out a huff. She walked over to the counter and stood at the end, far away from Frick. Mickey looked at the ceiling and tapped his thumb on his arm and remembered Heidi was family and she was worried about the ‘cop’. 

He shoved his upper body toward the kitchen and his legs followed, he walked behind Heidi and moved to the coffeemaker.

“Ahh, Heidi, Frick, Frick, Heidi.” He said and pulled out a mug for her. 

“Nice to meet you.” Frick said.

“Frick?” she said 

“It’s a nickname.” Sutter said smiling. 

“You have another name?” Mickey said with his eyes furrowed and his face broke into a smile when Frick gave him a long look. 

“James Sutter.” He heard as he poured coffee for Heidi.

He turned to her and she looked back and forth between them.

“He’s OK.” Mickey said. “For a Fed.” He said with a teasing smile.

Frick nodded and drank his coffee.

“Well…OK.” Heidi said and took the stool next to Frick and lifted her coffee. Mickey opened the bottle of whiskey and held it out, Heidi lifted her mug and Mickey smiled splashing the whiskey into her mug. 

“A Fed huh?” Heidi said.

“Yep.” Frick said with his hands around his mug.

“You’re their Fed?” She asked. 

“I guess you could say that.” Frick said and Heidi took a drink of her coffee her face turned to Frick.

“You said it was OK for them to tell me, didn’t you.” Heidi asked.

Frick nodded and brought up his coffee only to have it almost splash out of the cup as Heidi shoved into him with a sideways hug. 

“Ohh, ahhh. OK.” Frick said.

“She’s a hugger.” Mickey said with a grin. 

Heidi let go and had a brilliant smile on her face and held his arm.

“Thank you.” She said and he saw Frick melt into a puddle, he almost put his head in his hand and purred at her like a cat. Heidi at full volume was kryptonite to straight guys. 

Frick shook his head and blushed. Mickey rolled his eyes and leaned on the counter braced on his elbows.

“A minute ago you were giving me death looks.” He said.

“That was before I knew he was THE GUY. Capital T.H.E.” Heidi said with wide eyes.

“Uh huh.” Mickey said and thought at this rate she could break any law and Frick would pat her hand and say, “Oh sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault.” 

They were making googly eyes at each other and talking about when they told her the big secret. Frick was listening attentively like she was the only woman in the world. 

There was another knock at the door and Heidi bounced up and walked over to answer it.

“Check that first.” Mickey said gruffly. 

“I know.” She said and turned around enough to give him a dirty look.

Frick looked up at him like he was stupid for telling her and he tilted his head at him smirking and shifted on his feet.

Heidi stood on her tiptoes and barely reached the peep hole. 

“Oh yay.” She said and unlocked the door. Mickey saw an arm come around her and more bags, he thought it was Mandy’s arm but he wasn’t sure.

“Shit’s fucking heavy.” Yup it was Mandy and Heidi helped her with the bags.

“Did you get it all?” Heidi said.

“Ya, think so.” Mandy said and they moved to the coffee table and they put down bag after bag of stuff, Christ only knew what was in there and why all that shit was necessary.

“Hey.” She said and came around the counter and he stood up to hug her. Mandy had become really huggy since they got back, he understood why and he liked the hugs. 

“Where’s Ian?” Mandy asked.

“No clue.” He said and thought wistfully about the plan to jump him when he woke up. He looked at the Fed, the friend and the sister and didn’t think that was happening anytime soon. 

He moved to the cabinet and pulled out a mug for Mandy. 

“Thanks.” She said and opened the whiskey herself and poured a big splash in her coffee.

“Hey.” Mandy said to Frick. They hadn’t seen each other since he had told her about him being alive but Mickey had told her he was ok that day so they didn’t go through the whole ‘What’s a Fed doing here.’ bullshit again. 

Heidi was taking plans, and food and blah blah, it was all white noise and he leaned back down onto the counter. Frick was looking between Mandy and Heidi like he had died and gone to heaven, Mickey waved his hand back and forth in from of his face and Frick tore his gaze away from them.

Mickey gave him a glare and Frick smiled and shrugged with a “I may be married but I’m not dead.’ look and picked up his coffee and looked back at them and he could have sworn he heard him sigh. 

There was a knock at the door and Mickey slapped a hand to his cheek and closed his eyes.

Mandy went this time and he knew he didn’t have to tell her to look. 

“It’s some guy in really nice clothes.” She said. “One of you?” she asked Frick.

“No.” Frick said.

“Open the door.” Mickey said and poured more whiskey into his half-filled mug.

Westford walked in quickly and scanned the room until he saw Mickey.

“Good Morning.” Westford said with a smile and brought in bags. ‘Jesus more shit.” Mickey thought and moved to the cabinet to get a mug for him. 

“Thank you.” Westford said as Mandy and Heidi helped him with his bags and more shit piled onto the coffee table. He came into the kitchen and Mickey poured coffee for him, he lifted the pot and saw that it was empty and rolled his eyes and put it by the sink, he handed Westford the mug and lifted the coffee holder out and dumped the coffee grounds into the trash. 

“Mm.” Westford said drinking. “How ya doin’?” he asked Mickey.

“Alright.” Mickey said. He dropped it back in the coffee maker and opened the cabinet with the coffee and poured more in.

He filled the pot with water and heard the end of Westford’s sentence when he turned off the tap.

….a Fed.”

“What about him?” Mickey said and turned around his eyes wide.

Westford took in the look and said. “I said I never thought I’d be attending another wedding with a Fed.”

“Ya well you are.” He said and dumped the water in the top and shoved the pot back into the coffeemaker. 

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” Westford said and drank his coffee with his eyes on Mickey. 

Westford saw the bottle and said. “You need better whiskey.” But opened it and poured some into his mug.

“Hey!” Mickey said and Westford ignored him and turned to Heidi and Mandy.

“So…” Westford said and moved over behind them. Heidi turned her chair to face him and he heard ‘plans’ and his mind clicked off. He drank his mostly whiskey coffee and Frick was laughing quietly. 

“What the hell are you..” He started.

There was a knock at the door and Mickey just dropped his head. 

Mandy went to the door and unlocked it.

“Hey.” She said and Debbie came in with a “Hey Mandy.” She was holding up a big vinyl dress bag and Heidi squealed and bounced off the chair. 

“Oh you’re an angel.” She said and hugged Debbie and she hugged her back with one arm. 

“It’s no big deal, it was on the way.” She said as Heidi took the bag and went to the couch, she lowered it over all the stuff and unzipped it. Mickey raised his head but couldn’t see what was in it.

“Hey.” he said and moved to the cabinet to get Debbie a mug. 

Mandy and Heidi were chattering about whatever was inside.

“HEY.” he said louder.

“What?” Mandy said and flashed her eyes at him.

“What’s in the fucking bag?” He said and poured coffee for Debbie. 

“Nothin’. She said and flipped him off.

“Oh nothing huh?” He said and shoved the mug at Debbie. 

“It’s our dresses.” Heidi said and pulled out one. It wasn’t pink he saw with relief, it was a dark blue and had long sleeves and looked kinda short but then again Heidi was kinda short. 

“Fiona and V reworked a couple of dresses.” Debbie said and looked over at Frick warily.

“He’s OK!” Mickey shot out, he said it louder than he intended and Debbie took a step back. Mickey let out a breath and remembered she was Ian’s sister and that made her family.

“Hey, you ahh want some whiskey?” He asked.

“Huh.” She said and drank her coffee. ‘I’ve never had whiskey in coffee.”

“What?” Mickey said. “Aren’t you a Gallagher?” He said and flashed a smile at her. 

He held out the whiskey, she smiled and held out her mug, he only put in a little splash and Debbie took a small sip.

“Hmm.” She said. 

Mickey widened his eyes. “Huuh? Good right?” He said nodding.

“Ya.” she said and took another sip. Debbie walked over to Westford and Heidi and Mandy who was holding up a dress.

Mickey leaned back over the counter bracing on his elbows and drank his whiskey/coffee and let out a long weary sigh. 

“How many people are coming today?” Frick asked, and Mickey heard the laughter in his voice. 

Mickey gave him a death stare and Frick started laughing. Mickey nodded and flipped him off and Frick lost it and started laughing hysterically. The others even looked over from the stuff to see what was going on. 

"Hi.” He said with a wave. “He’s fine.” And they turned back to each other. 

Mickey smirked as Frick tried to get himself under control. He rubbed a hand over his face and reached for his smokes at the end of the counter, he lit one and took a long deep drag.

“Where’s Ian?” Debbie asked.

“I wish to fuck I knew.” He said with a sigh and Frick laughed again.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere protecting a criminal?” Mickey asked Frick taking a drag from his smoke. 

“Nope.” Frick said laughing as he stood up and walked around the counter and Mickey glared at him over his shoulder as he walked to the coffeemaker.

“Anyone need more coffee?” Sutter said with a laugh in his voice and they all came rushing over. Mickey was bumped and his hand came up and his head shook as they all lined up for more coffee.

“There’s a fucking coffee shop right down the block.” He said.

Westford laughed and Mickey shook his head and leaned back over. He poured a finger of whiskey into his empty mug and there was a knock at the door, he picked up the bottle again and upended it over the mug. 

He didn’t look up when the door opened but heard “Ian!” and stood up.

“Thank you, fuck!” He said. 

“Forgot my keys.” Ian said hugging Mandy and Deb with one arm holding his own vinyl bags. 

“Hey, what’s all that?” Ian asked nodding toward the couch. 

“Food and presents.” Heidi said.

“Oh cool” Ian said and finally looked over at Mickey.

“Hey.” Ian said smiling. 

Mickey didn’t know if he should kiss him for saving him or punch him for leaving him with this mess. Ian walked over and kissed him on his scowling cheek and Mickey thought he really should punch him, ya defiantly. 

Mickey rubbed at his eyes and put the smoke down in the ashtray trying to not punch the love of his life on their wedding day. 

“There any coffee?” he asked and Mickey’s eyebrows went up and his arms went out and Frick started laughing again.

Ian looked at Frick confused and smiled at Mickey. Mickey dropped his hands and turned to the cabinet, his chin went down to his chest and his eyes closed when he saw there weren't any mugs left, he rubbed his hand over his face and closed the cabinet with a snap. He picked up his mug from the counter and shoved it at Ian.

“Thanks.” Ian said and took a drink, his eyes widened and he spat it out.

“Jesus, this is whiskey.” He said his eyes wide on Mickey’s. Frick was laughing so hard there were tears in his eyes.

“Uh huh.” Mickey said taking the cup back from him and leaned back over the counter braced on his elbows.

 

Ian carried the bags into the bedroom and hung them in the open closet. He heard them all talking and laughing and smiled, he was so happy to be home and they were getting married today. He heard the door close and he turned to Mickey as he stopped and let out a long breath. 

Ian laughed and Mickey’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh ha! Leave me with these crazy people.” Mickey said and walked over to him.

Ian saw his eyes change as his hands came around his waist and he looked up at him.

“Sorry, had to pick these up before noon.” He said.

“Pick what up?” Mickey said suspiciously and turned his head his eyes still on his. 

“Our tuxes.” Ian said.

“Ouuur whattt?” Mickey said and his face fell.

Ian almost had to bite his lips to keep from laughing.

“Ya, they were special ordered so they took longer.”

“Special…..Ian what the fuck?” He said with a desperately sad face shaking his head.

“Come on, it’s only a few hours. Oh, but there are the pictures.” He said like he just thought of it. “Hm” 

“Oh my God, fucking pictures.” Mickey said and dropped to the bed with his hands on his head.

Ian smiled and he let out a chuckle. Mickey’s head came up and Ian bent over laughing at his face. 

“Oh you motherfucker.” Mickey said bracing his arm on his leg. Ian stepped back for safety and laughed harder. 

“Fucking tuxes huh.” Mickey stood up and tore the bags off the rod in the closet, he threw them on the bed and Ian tried to stop laughing as Mickey glared at him unzipping the first bag. 

“They better not be fucking pink.” Mickey said and opened the bag. Ian saw his eyes change to surprise when his eyes fell on his shirt from their first wedding. Ian stepped up behind him and said,

“I got them cleaned and there are real pants in there, no jeans.”

“Ya?” Mickey said and smiled moving his to the side to unzip the other bag. Ian’s blue shirt was under the zipper and Mickey reached down and rubbed the material between his fingers. 

“We have the shoes already.” Ian said and he saw Mickey nod distracted by the shirts. 

"Hey.” Ian said and Mickey looked at him, he had a sweet smile on his face and he slid his hand around Ian’s waist and brought his other hand up to his face. 

“Mm I love you” Mickey said smiling wide. “Even though you fuck with me.” 

“You like that though.” Ian said narrowing his eyes. Mickey tilted his head and shrugged a shoulder.

“Ya, I do.” Mickey said. Ian laughed and Mickey brought his lips to his for a kiss.

Mickey smiled into his eyes when he pulled away.

“Come here.” MIckey said and pulled Ian by the hand to the end of the bed. Ian came around behind him and Mickey turned him toward the dresser.

Ian looked over and he saw the white sheet of paper propped up against the wood where the glass should be, he stepped closer and saw the writing.

Ian Gallagher and Mikhailo Milkovich, Certificate of Marriage. He felt his eyes sting and stepped up to the dresser. 

“Where did you get this?” He asked and Mickey’s arms came around his waist.

“Sutter.” Mickey said and Ian brought his arm up to his on his waist and picked it up.

His name and Mickey’s name together, married. It rolled through him like a soft wave, it was real. Not just a word they said, it was really real.

“Wow.” He said and held it in his hands. Mickey closed his hand over his at his waist and Ian tightened his fingers around his. 

“It was a wedding present.” Mickey said. 

“Ya?” Ian said and smiled.

“I figured I’d open it cuz ya know, you weren’t HERE.” Mickey said and Ian looked over his shoulder at him. 

“Is that right?” He said. 

“You left me with them.” Mickey said it like Ian had betrayed him horribly. 

Ian laughed and turned around holding Mickey’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry I left you with the crazy people.” He said sincerely. 

“It was rough man.” Mickey said and stepped into Ian, his head landed on his shoulder and Ian brought his arms around him with a chuckle.

 

Mickey heard Ian’s chuckle and held his waist, he thought about the other gift but he knew it would bring up what Ian was trying to not say and Mickey didn’t want him to feel bad today, he was looking forward to all of this. 

Ian lifted his head and gave him a quick kiss and turned away to walk out the door.

“Hey, what about round 2?” Mickey said with his eyebrows up. Ian turned back to him and smiled.

“Later.” He said and winked closing the door.

“Fuckin great, later! When there’s like 500 people here.” Mickey said to himself 

He really hated everyone here at the moment. He crossed his arms and steamed for a minute, but finally brought his hands up and stomped into the bathroom to take a shower. 

 

Ian walked back out into the kitchen and they had multiplied. Fiona and V and ‘Some guy,’ Ian was sure he had a name but there was always a new one and he had been ‘Some guy.’ since the party when they got home. 

“Hey.” Fiona said. 

“Mornin.” He said and walked over to the cabinet. ‘Maybe I can use a bowl.’ He thought craving coffee. 

“Big day!” Fiona said.

“Ya.” He said and he looked over. ‘Some guy’ was giving him the eye, he wasn’t sure when he was going to tell Fiona her new boy toy was gay but he would, just not today. 

“Here.” Big said and held out his mug. Ian tilted his head and smiled.

“Did I ever tell you you’re my hero.” Ian said. 

Big laughed as he put the mug across the counter and stood up.

“Hey Sutter.” Ian said, and he looked back surprised, Ian called him Big.

“Ya?” Sutter said.

“Thanks.” He said. Sutter cocked his head.

“For the gift.” Ian said and Sutter nodded, he smiled and started for the door.

“See ya later.” Ian said. 

Sutter turned his head as he opened the door and gave him a big smile.

“We’ll be here.” Sutter said and motioned to the door locks. Ian nodded and walked to the door and hit both the locks.

“He’s coming to the wedding?” Fiona said. She said the word HE like it was a dirty word.

“Yes.” Ian said walking back to the kitchen. 

“What if there’s like gun violence?” V said. 

“There’s always a gun.” Fiona said and V nodded as she unpacked food onto the counter. 

“Then it’s good he’ll be around.” He said and turned on the tap quickly washed out the cup, he turned to the coffeemaker.

“Ya but I don’t know how everyone’s gonna be with a cop there.” Fiona said. 

“They’re gonna have to get over it.” Ian said and poured the coffee.

V sputtered and said, “Ya right.”

Ian looked up over the mug and as he took a long drink, he lowered the mug and twisted his mouth up. 

“Ya that is right cuz he’s coming and is someone doesn’t like it, they can leave.” He said in an even tone, but his eyes were as hard as steel and Fiona and V looked at him with identical shocked face.

“OK.” V said and looked back down at the food.

Fiona looked at him and shifted on one leg, he held her gaze until she looked down at the food.

He was serious and he wanted them to know it, Big was coming and that was it. Ian watched them all unpack and talk around each other holding his mug and drinking his coffee. Big had become a good friend over the past two years, he was honest and had a kindness in him that Ian had seen from the first day in the safe house. He had also taken the time to see past Mickey’s exterior and that was something very few people did. Ian knew they would both feel safer with him there, he was kind but he was hella tough when it came to their safety but that was really only an afterthought. 

Ian saw Heidi take out a huge ball of Christmas lights and hold it up with a ‘Ta da’ look to him, he nodded and laughed into his coffee. She was lovin’ this and he had to admit so was he, it was fun making all the plans with Mandy and Heidi. Those two were inseparable, they were even planning on moving in together in a few weeks. They found a two bedroom apartment that was a couple blocks away, Ian had hoped they would move into this building but there wasn’t a two bedroom available at the moment, he still hoped in the future they'd end up here. He smiled and thought about what Mickey’s reaction to that would be, he’d immediately say no with a shake of his head and his arms crossing. He’d think about them and their privacy first but Ian would bring him around and Mickey would be the first one there to help them move. 

He fiddled with his ring with his thumb, he wanted today for Mickey, he wanted the people and the stuff and all of it for him. He had always been with Mickey but being married to him was more than Ian imagined it would be, just when he thought the love between them couldn’t get bigger or deeper it always did. 

Mickey still surprised him in some way all the time, like the certificate he had shown him in the bedroom. Ian smiled and remembered Mickey’s eyes get all soft as he pulled him over to the dresser. But there was also last night, Ian felt an instant rush to his gut and shook his head. ‘Fuuuuckk!’ he thought, and tried to put it out of his head before he turned around and joined Mickey in the shower or wherever he was. 

There was something though, something behind his smile that he had first seen last week but he didn’t push it. There would be time enough after today and Ian didn’t want to spoil today for him by asking. Mickey was adjusting to being home a little at a time and he wouldn’t add to his stress. He seemed lighter at the bachelor party, Ian thought and his face spread into a wide smile again.

Ian hadn’t wanted to be there, he loved his family but he had wanted…no ‘want’ wasn’t right, he had needed to be home alone with Mickey. Mickey’s eyes when he said he loved him last night were lit up like blue fire and Ian had felt his heart rage as hot as his body. He looked down at his ring he was moving up and down with his thumb, he hadn’t taken it off once since Mickey had put it on his finger and when Heidi had said she wanted them to do the ring exchange at the wedding today he had said no. It was a part of his hand and had been for two years and would stay where it was on his finger every day for the rest of his life. 

 

 

Mickey walked out into the sunlight into their backyard and people were fucking everywhere. He had his sunglasses on for two reasons, the sun but also so people wouldn’t see his eyes if he happened to roll his eyes which was a definite possibility. They were having a pre- wedding barbecue and there were tables full of food and alcohol all along the sides of the fences. He looked around and let out a sigh, he didn’t know half these people. 

“Hey.” He heard. He turned his head and it was Carl. 

“Hey.” He said as Carl walked past him down the steps. 

‘Gallaghers, Gallaghers everwhere and not a drop of whiskey in my hand.’ he thought. 

‘I can change that.” He thought and made a bee line for the alcohol table.

“Hey Mick.” He heard.

“Hey?” He said and no idea who he was talking to. He stepped up to the table and saw some really nice whiskey behind the other bottles and reached over for it, he lifted it and smiled bringing it up to his chest.

“No, no, no!” he heard and looked up, it was Heidi. He scowled and she shook her head at him and wagged a finger.

“Come on man.” He said and she grabbed at the bottle. 

He pulled it away and up over his head, she couldn’t reach it there.

“HA!’ He said. 

She glared at him and called out, “Mandy!”

“Aw fuck Heidi.” He said dropping the whiskey and lifting his arm out.

“What.” Mandy said as she walked up with a burger in her hand over a paper plate. 

Heidi pointed at Mickey.

“Hey this is my fucking wedding and if I… “Mandy put down her plate on the table and wiped her hands together.

“..want to drink….”he stepped back as Mandy came forward. “Then I can fucking drink.” He said with a huff.

Mandy held out her hand. 

Mickey twisted his face and opened his mouth. 

“NO.” Mandy said. Mickey shifted on his feet and shoved the bottle into Mandy’s hand and brought his hands back.

“Alright Jesus.” He said and thought, ‘I have more in the house.’

“And don’t even think about sneaking into the house and drinking.” Heidi said.

Mickey’s head came up and Mandy shoved a beer in his hand that was something at least. 

“I’m watching you.” She said and pointed her fingers at her eyes and out to him.

“Ya OK!?.” Mickey said and turned away shaking his head. 

He found a chair at a smaller table and sat with his beer and a plate full of food watching all the people walking around or standing talking and eating. He ate and whatever some of this was it was really good. Ian had cooked for like two days and he knew the Gallaghers had made a bunch of food. 

He picked up his burger and saw Frick walk down the stairs, he slid down his sunglasses and took off because he wasn’t sure he was seeing this right. He was dressed in a loose button up shirt and shorts, and were those Birkenstocks on his feet? Mickey had never seen him in anything but jeans and a polo shirt and oh and a gun holster but he didn’t have one on now. ‘He looks like a Grateful Dead reject’, Mickey thought. He was holding hands with a lady who looked like she was ten years younger than him.

“Dog.” Mickey said laughing to himself. He saw Ian rush up and Frick introduced his wife to Ian. Ian hugged her, her arms came out behind him in surprise but she laughed and hugged him back. He saw Ian look around and his eyes landed on him, Frick must have asked where he was. Ian smiled and pointed at him, Frick and his wife looked over. The wife said something and Mickey’s eyebrow went up when Ian nodded and Frick laughed.

They walked over to him and Mickey wiped his mouth and took a hit of beer. 

“Hey.” Ian said as they walked up. ‘This is Ginny.” 

“Hey.” Mickey said smiling as they sat down at the table with him. Ian put his beer down and sat next to him. 

Ginny was looking at him kinda funny and he smiled wider. ‘Yep, I’m the criminal.’ He thought and chuckled.

“You’re much better looking than I imagined.” She said and sat back

“Oh ya?” he said with a smile. “You’re much prettier and younger than he deserves.” He said in a low sweet tone.

Ginny smiled and tilted her head while Ian laughed and Frick nodded.

“I’m so glad you came.” Ian said to Ginny.

“All of this is so great. “She said looking around.

Mickey smiled over at Ian and he smiled back. He felt his heart just light up at Ian’s smile, he was having a great time and everyone he loved was here. Mickey reached his hand over to his on his lap and gave his hand a squeeze. Ian scrunched up his nose as he squeezed his hand back and Mickey’s heart melted.

“Wow.” Ginny said.

Mickey and Ian both turned to her to see what she was talking about and she was looking at them. 

“Told you.” Frick said and sat back crossing his arms.

“What?” Mickey said. Frick laughed and turned his head away.

“They have no idea.” Frick said in a low voice.

Mickey and Ian looked at each other and back at Ginny. 

“You were so right.” She said.

“Right about what?” Mickey said and stared at Frick.

“I just told her how you two were and she didn’t believe me.” 

“How are we?” Ian asked and they looked at each other. 

“He said you were tough as nails but when it came to the other you were as soft as silk.” Ginny said.

Mickey sat back and didn’t know what to say.

“It’s kinda true.” Ian said.

“No, that was about Mick.” Frick said. “You are not soft.” He said with a firm shake of his head.

Mickey nodded and drank his beer. People thought he was tough, HA! Ian was a hell of a lot tougher than him. 

“Oh com’on” Ian said and lifted his beer.

Mickey looked at him and nodded. “Oh ya.” He said 

“I’ve taken some hits but you have a hellova right fucking hook.” He said.

“You hit him?” Ginny said surprised and Ian looked at her with his mouth open. 

“Ahhm" Ian mumbled around his beer and darted his eyes around.

“Oh I hit him back, don’t you worry about that.” He said with a smirk.

Ginny looked at Frick with her mouth open and Frick nodded with his arms still crossed. 

Mickey smiled and held Ian’s hand, maybe they were funny in a way but who the fuck cares? He was happy and Ian was here with him. 

Life was pretty fucking good.


	11. Chapter 11

People roamed around and Mickey waved Ian away when he saw his friends from work show up. He sat back and put his sunglasses back on and thought about sneaking some whiskey but he figured Heidi had spies. He saw Carl and called out,

“Hey!” Carl turned and came over to the table.

“Hey man.” He said putting his beer down and sat. 

Frick and Ginny were holding hands watching everyone like he was. 

Frick said, “Hey.” And Ginny smiled at him.

Mickey lit a smoke and tossed the pack toward Carl. He nodded and picked it up, lighting one and letting out the smoke.

“Ian says you want to be a cop?” he said with a scowling face.

“Yup.” Carl said and smiled. Mickey glanced over and Frick’s attention was on Carl.

“What are you doing now?” Mickey asked like Ian hadn’t told him all about his family.

“Just finished military school.” He said taking a drink with a smile on his face and a glint in his eyes.

“Nice man.” Mickey said and nodded into his beer.

“What branch of the military are you thinking about?” Frick asked.

“Oh ya, my bad…” Mickey said like it had just dawned on him they may have something in common.

“Carl, Ian’s brother.” Mickey said and turned to Frick. “This is the Fed.” He laughed when Frick turned a nasty eye at him.

“Ya?” Carl said and turned his attention to Frick. Frick turned his stink eye away from him and looked at Carl 

“Yeah.” Frick said. 

“FBI?” he asked. Frick nodded and they talked military shit. Mickey laughed to himself and brought his beer up. He caught Ginny’s eye and she had an eyebrow up and had a little smile on her face, Mickey gave her a big smile and downed his beer. 

 

Mickey stepped up the stairs quickly and looked around, Heidi was talking to Ian and Fiona with her back turned. He walked quickly into their apartment and headed to the bedroom. He reached up into the closet and his hand closed around his bottle from the first wedding, he brought it down and laughed as he twisted off the cap.

“Hey!.” He heard and he turned his eyes and Mandy was standing at the door.

“Fuck!.” He said jumping. 

“You gonna share that?”

Mickey smiled at her and held it out, she took it and looked around the bedroom. She gave him a look when she saw the empty mirror and he smiled and shook his head, she leaned over to look at the certificate.

“We just got that today.” He said taking off his sandals, he sat at the head of the bed bringing out his smokes and lit one. 

“Ya? From who? “She asked and took a drink from the bottle. 

“The Fed.” He said and held his hand out when Mandy came and sat down on the bed in front of him. 

He took a drink and lifted his eyebrows at her, smiling around the bottle.

She smiled at him and he brought down the bottle, 

“You’re not gonna bust me?” he asked and handed it to her.

“Nah, she just wants everything to be perfect for you.”

Mickey nodded and let his head rest on the wall and looked toward the window. They were all out there including Heidi and her little sweet brain, fixing everything just right for them. 

“Thanks.” He said.

“For what? She asked surprised.

“For all this.” He said waving a hand out. 

She nodded and looked at him from the corner of her eye smiling. 

“And for forgiving us.” He said. 

Mandy looked down at the bottle and didn’t say anything. Mickey crushed out the smoke looking at her. 

“It’s OK if you haven’t all the way yet.” He said. 

“Ya?” she said and looked at him, he saw the hurt was still there and he sat up. He rubbed her arm and he said, 

“Yeah.” and put his arm around her and pulled her over for a hug.

He pulled too hard and she shoved at him, he laughed and went back. 

“Fucker.” She said and pushed at her hair that was all in her face. He smiled and stood up from the bed, he walked to the open closet and reached up moving over a blanket and pulled out the box with the roses. 

Mandy was pushing her hair back in place and looking at him with her eyes squinted when he came back to her, her eyes dropped to his hand and they widened. She looked up and he smiled and held it out to her, she took it with her eyes still on his. He sat next to her while she opened it slowly and he saw her eyes fill as she put a finger in like his did and move the jewelry around. 

“Here.” He said and reached in for the gold ring with the purple stone. He held it up and she took it between her fingers, she smiled at it and turned to him. 

“I thought everything was gone.” She said.

“I kept it.” He said. 

Mandy lowered her hand to put the ring in the box.

“That’s yours” he said and her head came up.

“Ya.” he said, her eyes spilled over and she pushed her tears away, she sniffed blinking and looked down at the ring and slipped it over her ring finger. She held it up and she had a soft smile on her face, he was sure he was remembering her just like he had. 

She turned to him and scrunched up her nose in a quick smile and she hugged him hard.

“Jesus, I need to breathe!” He said with a strangled voice. Mandy laughed and let him go, she rubbed at her eyes and looked down at the ring. Mickey bit his lip smiling and moved back up to the head of the bed with the bottle.

He saw a shadow by the door and lowered the bottle down beside the bed. 

“Hey! Watcha doin’ in here?” Ian said with a big smile and came in with a beer in his hand.

Mickey brought the bottle up.

“Ahhh.” Ian said. 

“Look!” Mandy said and held out her hand.

“You got engaged?” Ian said.

“No, wrong hand, look!" Mandy said

Ian held her hand and looked.

“Nice.” Ian said and smiled. “Where’d you get that?” 

Mandy titled her head toward Mickey and smiled. “It was our mom’s”

Mickey saw Ian’s eyes shift as he looked at Mandy. 

“Very pretty.” Ian said and she hugged him. He held Mandy with his eyes closed and she pulled away.

“Is Heidi looking for me, fuck what time is it?” she said and ran out blowing a kiss to Mickey.

Ian watched her run away and quietly closed the door. Mickey took a long drink of whiskey and saw Ian’s eyes come to his. 

“Giving out rings on our wedding day.” Ian said with a tilt of his head. 

Mickey waited.

“Where’d you get it.” Ian asked.

“I’ve had it.” He said.

“No you haven’t” Ian said in a low voice.

“I’ve had it.” He said again and Ian heard what he was saying and his head went back and his eyes widened.

“You went there?” Ian asked. Mickey nodded and Ian sat down on the bed. 

“Alone?” Ian asked and Mickey heard the fear in his voice. 

“You know.” He said. Ian nodded and took a drink.

“Who told you? Mandy.” He said answering his own question. Ian brought a leg onto the bed and faced him. 

“Why would you do that?” Ian asked. “For Christs sake, he almost killed us how many times? “ Ian said and Ian looked pissed but Mickey saw the fear for him under it.

Mickey didn’t feel the tightness around him anymore. He didn’t feel the shame and anger when he thought about that day, he only saw his father on the couch broken and beaten with fear in his eyes.

“I had to.” Mickey said.

Ian turned his head.

“For a box?” Ian asked looking down at the box on the bed. 

“No, I had to… get rid of it.” He said and Ian’s eyes changed, he looked down at beer and his fingers moved over the side of the can.

‘Are you OK?” Ian asked bringing his eyes back up. Mickey smiled and put the bottle down on the floor. 

“What do you think?” He said as he sat forward and kissed him, he felt Ian’s lips smile under his.

“Hm?” he said and looked in to Ian’s eyes. Ian’s eyes smiled into his.

“I got something for you.” He said with a chuckle and hopped up.

“Oh ya?” Ian said in a low voice. He glanced at Ian and his eyes were hot and he had a wicked grin on his face.

Mickey giggled reaching back up into the closet, he brought the shoebox back to the bed and sat down with Ian. 

“Shoes?” Ian said and Mickey chuckled. He watched Ian open it and his eyes were confused.

Mickey looked down into the box and waited for him to understand. Ian picked up a ticket and looked at it, he picked up a note with his handwriting on it and it finally clicked.

“Holy shit!” Ian said and dove into the box. Mickey giggled and Ian went through everything Mickey had kept, ticket stubs, notes saying “Hey, went to work, I’ll wake you up when I get home. Love-I” on it. It was their past in the box. Pictures of them in a photo booth came out and he laughed and looked up at Mickey, they were making faces in the first three but in the third they were kissing with smiling lips. Mickey held out his hand and took it, smiling down at them. Ian looked good, this was in between the high and the low and the high again.

“Whoa,” Ian said and took out the picture of him from when he was 16, it had folds in it and it was tattered. Ian was wearing a hat and flipping the camera off. Mickey had kept it hidden for years until they had lived together, he had taped it to the wall one night while Ian was naked on their bed. Ian smiled and he had crawled over the bed to him smiling and landed next to him and Ian had pulled him into him with his arm. 

“Hm, I like it there.” Mickey had said.

When Ian had taken off with his mother he had taken it down, first because he couldn’t fucking stand it he missed him so much and second he couldn’t look at his face after banging that twink in the park. 

“This was in our room.” Ian said.

“Yep.” Mickey said and brought out ticket stubs and held them up.

“No shit, your birthday.” Ian said and took them in his hand and looked down at them, those were before they lived together and it was the first thing to go in the box. Ian had paid for White Sox tickets for his birthday and they had had an absolute blast that day, they had spent the whole day together and most of that night. They were together at the time but secretly Mickey remembered and it broke his heart a little to think about how long Ian had waited for him to come around. Ian had always been tougher than him.

“This is so great.” Ian said.

Mickey leaned back on his arms and watched him look over their past. It was fucked up that all that brought them here, in their apartment with hordes of people outside here to see them get married. 

‘Well, married again.’ He thought and brought his arms around and looked at Ian, he was reading a note Mickey had left him when they had lived together. He turned it toward him and squinted his eyes to try and figure out what Ian wanted him to see. 

‘Hey, Svet wants you to pick up Yev at the baby place. Can you text her so she doesn’t bitch at me anymore? There might be something in it for you. Heh. Love Mick.

“Oh ha.” He saw it. ‘Love ’ “I was just trying to get you to do the thing.” He said in a teasing tone.

“Uh huh.” Ian said. 

‘Can’t fool him anymore.’ Mickey thought. 

“Hey.” Mickey looked over and saw Lip. He felt the smile fall from his face and Lip was looking at Ian.

“Ahh, Heidi’s looking for you.” Lip said.

“Oh shit, guess we’re busted.” Ian said and smiled at Mickey putting the note in the box and lifting the cover over the box.

Mickey nodded his head and smiled when he looked back to him and Ian stood up turning toward Lip.

Mickey grabbed the bottle and followed them, he stopped at the kitchen counter and saw Ian go out the door. He wasn’t surprised when Lip stopped and crossed his arms over his chest, Lip had been giving him dirty looks and had not spoken a word to him since they’d been home. Lip kept his back to him and Mickey waited leaning against the refrigerator after putting the bottle down on the counter. Lip turned around and saw him waiting, his eyebrows went up in surprise for a second but he walked forward with his eyes down and his arms still crossed. 

Mickey lifted his leg behind him and put his hands in his pockets. 

“I’m only here because I love my brother.” Lip said. “It doesn’t mean I think this is a good idea.”

Mickey didn’t let his face change but thought, ‘Good idea?’ We’ve been married two fucking years ya idiot.’

“He got sick because of you!” Lip said in a low voice and Mickey’s chest nearly broke open.

“He ran off with you and left a good guy, and where the fuck were you? Mexico in some cartel? Ya?” Lip said with a sneer.

Mickey’s eyes stayed level but his jaw clenched.

“I, ME, I had to tell him you were dead, and he fell apa …”Lip stopped and Mickey’s heart cracked. 

“THEN he runs off and not to get away but to go with YOU?” He said with a scoffing laugh. Mickey brought his hand up and rubbed his neck hard. “AWAY from his family?” For two fucking years?”

Lip was across from him at the other side of the counter in between the stools with his fists clenched on it. 

“Is that what you call love?” Lip said with venom. 

Mickey’s head came up and he let out a choked breath and tried to see through the red edges around his vision. 

Mickey took a step and lifted the whiskey and took a long drink, he pulled it back holding it out and took another drink while Lip glared at him.

He carefully put the bottle down next to him and licked his top lip. He turned to Lip and lowered his hand back into his pocket.

“Are you done?” he asked.

Lip glared at him and shook his head, he started to turn away.

“No seriously, I’m asking.” He asked and held up a hand. 

Lip nodded and braced an arm on the counter and looked at him with contempt.

“You can say whatever the fuck you want to about what I’ve done but don’t you ever, EVER say that I don’t love Ian.” He said. He saw Lip’s eyes flash in fear or maybe he realized he had gone too far. He was shaking and took a step back and held up his hands. 

“Alright.” Mickey said. He took a deep breath and said the words he had never said out loud before.

“Don’t you think I know that I made him….That it was my fault?” he said with a ragged quivering voice and bit his lip. “I have done everything I can since to make up for it. Every. Single. Fucking. Day.” 

Lip was looking down at the counter with his arms crossed.

“NO! Don’t fucking look down, you asked so fucking look at me.” Mickey said with a scowl. Lip looked up and Mickey continued.

“I would give him every fucking moment of my happiness to go back and change it.” Lip shifted on his legs and looked at him with a blank stare. 

“Do you even understand what I’m saying, what it’s like to know that you’d die for someone just to not see them hurt.” 

Mickey braced his hands against the side of the counter and shook his head.

“I don’t think you do. I don’t think that in your little Lip world you can even begin to understand what it feels like to love someone more than yourself.”

“Ian left me at the border for me?! He did that.” He brought his hands up and twisted his face up like it was insane. 

“And when I went into protection?” He said bringing a hand up again. “I didn’t want him to get involved in that shit!” He said and felt the tears push at his eyes, he rubbed at them hard. 

He felt a shift and felt Ian before he saw him.

He walked through the living room and stopped looking back and forth between them. Mickey dropped his hands and stepped toward him.

“Hey.” He said.

“What’s up?” Ian said and looked into Mickey’s eyes, he didn’t try to hide from Ian what was there but he nodded.

“It’s OK.”He said.

Ian looked up at Lip and Lip nodded to him.

“Go back outside, hm. See if there’s any of that pasta stuff left.” He said and Ian’s hand came to his, he gave him a smile and tightened his hand around his. 

Ian’s eyes were wary but he nodded and squeezed his hand. Ian stepped back looking at Lip and turned to go out the door with his head down. Mickey let out a breath and turned back to Lip, he walked back behind the counter and put a hand in his pocket.

He crossed his arms and gave Lip a hard look. 

“Everything I do is for him.” he said in a low voice. “Every day until I stop breathing, Ian is my life.” 

Lip looked away and slid his hands in his back pockets and stared at the wall. Mickey knew he didn’t believe him or couldn’t understand that they weren’t just words. 

“Maybe someday you’ll feel a sliver of this.” He said waving a hand over his chest “and maybe, just maybe you’ll begin to understand what I’m saying cuz man… “He shook his head “the world is a pretty dark fucking place without it.” He lifted the bottle and took a hit watching Lip. 

Lip shifted his legs and his jaw came out. 

“You don't like me fine, I really don't give a shit.” He stepped to the counter and looked Lip dead in the eyes. 

“But you will go out there and you will eat, drink and have a fucking great time and you will NOT ruin this for Ian, because if you do I will beat the ever lovin’ shit outta you.” He said in an even tone, and he saw that Lip believed that he would. 

Mickey took a step back and said. “I’m done.” bringing his hands out in front of him. 

Lip turned away and rubbed a hand over his head and started for the door. 

‘Maybe he did hear me.’ He thought as he watched him go. 

Mickey opened a bottom cabinet and hid the whiskey behind Ian’s pans. 

 

Maybe Heidi won’t notice he’s been gone he thought as he stepped out onto the landing. He scanned the yard for Ian and saw him glaring at Lip and his hand was up in front of him, Mickey took a step forward but saw Lip put his hands up and say something, Ian’s face changed and he dropped his head. Mickey watched them as he walked down the steps and didn’t turn away until he saw Ian smile at something Lip said and he turned toward him. 

Mickey nodded and stuck out his tongue. Ian shook his head and flipped him off. Mickey raised his eyebrows and Ian laughed. 

While his head was turned he didn’t see himself walking right to Heidi.

“Heeeyy.” He said as he almost ran into her. 

“Where have you been?” She asked taking a step toward him. 

“Nowhere.” He said and shrugged a shoulder and took a casual step back.

“Mm hm, let me smell your breath.” She said and grabbed his arms.

“Hey, get off me.” He said and stepped back fast as she held his arms. 

“No, no, no.” he said and was pushed into people. He finally twisted his face and turned, he booked it past Fiona and ran around a table and stopped. She was on the other side and he was trapped, he faked left but she was too smart. He smiled and twisted his face.

“Wassa matta, can’t catch me huh?” He said and saw her face twist up in anger.

“Awww?” He said and he saw her stunned face and bolted. 

He cackled as he ran past Ian. 

“Hey?” Ian said and he ran around Lip and saw her comin’ up fast.

“Gotta go.” He said with a grin and a wag of his tongue and ran. 

 

The sun started to set and Mickey and Ian were sitting with their feet up on chairs and everyone was having a hell of a time, there was music coming from their apartment and people started dancing. They saw the lights Heidi had strung up at the far end of the yard go on and smiled at each other.

“Man, she’s somethin’” Mickey said. 

“She is.” He said with his head back. He turned to Mickey and he was smiling around his beer. He had laughed his ass off watching Heidi chase him around the yard. She had tackled him and he had held his arms up in surrender. 

“Alright, alright.” Mickey said and Heidi stood up over him and tapped her foot.

“Maaan.” Mickey said. “It’s under the sink.” She held out her hand to help him up. “But don’t dump it.” 

“Like I’d ever?” she said with a smile and turned to go into the house. 

Ian looked over to the big pile of wood that was at least 5 feet high.

“Think it’s big enough?” he asked with sarcasm and looked at Mickey.

Mickey nodded and laughed. “Think so.”

Heidi stood at the top of the steps and called out,

“Who’s doing the honors.” She said with a flirty smile and all straight male hands went up. She was dressed for the wedding in a dark blue dress with long sleeves and barely a skirt, Mandy’s was longer but not by much. Mickey eyebrows had shot up when he saw them. 

“Go put some fucking clothes on.” Mickey snarled, they had giggled and ignored him. 

Ian laughed as Heidi toyed with them at the top of the stairs, pointing and shaking her head like she couldn’t decide, she loved every minute of this. 

“Hey.” He called out. “Carl”

Carl turned to him. “Ya man.” Carl said and Heidi brought him the lighter fluid and matches. 

Carl smiled and nodded his head. “Oh yeah.” He said.

Ian laughed and Mickey said. “Carl?”

Ian drank his beer and watched Carl open the lighter fluid with his tongue out. He let the stream out onto the pile and waved his arms up and down and moved around it in a circle. 

“That’s enough.” Fiona called out.

“Nah.” Carl said and dumped the rest of it. There was laughter all around.

“You better stand the fuck back.” Mickey said to Carl. 

Carl light one match and lit the rest with it, he stepped back three steps and tossed it.

There was a WHOOSH and the whole thing went up. Everyone cheered and whistled. 

Ian felt the heat and turned his head bringing his arm up. He laughed and saw Mickey squeeze his eyes shut and turn to him, he opened one eye.

“Fucking Carl?” "Mickey said as he closed his eye, he blinked them open as the first wave of heat passed and looked back.

“Is it safe?” Ian asked. He saw Mickey look up really high.

“Ah ya, for us, those trees might be toast.” Ian looked over and had to look up, the trees were smoking around the edges.

“Oh fuck.” He said and blinked. 

“Let's go.” Mickey said and they stood up in the hot zone and walked quickly through the yard. 

“Hey Mickey, Ian.” He heard. Westford was standing with a tall man who Ian recognized from the picture in Westford’s wallet.

“Hey.” He said. “David right?” and held out his hand.

“Yes and you’re Ian.” Ian nodded as David’s hand closed around his. Mickey came up beside him with his hands in his pockets.

“This is Mickey.” Westford said.

“Hello.” David said with a sweet smile. 

“Hey!.” Mickey said and smiled back. 

He saw Westford was looking at David smiling for absolutely no reason. 

‘Huh, maybe that’s what Ginny and Big were talking about, are we like that?” He looked at Mickey and automatically smiled. ‘Yup, guess so.’ He thought.

“When are you getting ready?” Westford asked.

“We’re heading in now.” Ian said. 

“Wow.” Mickey said looking up at the flames. 

“Yeah wow.” David said and Mickey turned to him. “This is such a great idea, a party before the wedding.” David had such a sweet air about him, Ian thought. 

“And after, you stayin' after right?” Mickey said with a turn of his head and a smile.

“Of course.” David said and his arm went around Westford’s waist. 

“We wouldn’t be anywhere else.” David said in a sincere voice and Ian found himself staring at them, there was something really familiar about them and he looked back and forth between them.

“Ohhh, I get it now.” He said and Westford laughed. 

“What?” Mickey said.

Westford smiled and pulled David in, David looked at him with confused eyes and Ian smiled at Westford and he nodded. Mickey’s hand went up and he shrugged his shoulders. 

“Nothing, come on.” He said and wrapped his arm around his neck.

“Get what?" Mickey said scowling at him.

Ian laughed.

“Ian?!” Mickey said as they climbed the stairs.

 

He explained to Mickey while they undressing in their room after Mickey had pulled down the blinds. 

“So, I’m like Westford?” he asked.

“Ya, kinda, he’s the South Side kid and David is…”

“What like you? You’re south side.” Mickey said unbuttoning his shirt. 

“Well no…Hm.” He thought about it as he pulled off his jean shorts and sat on the bed. 

“I guess it’s we’re going to be them in like 10 years.”

“Oh huh.” Mickey said and he tilted his head. “That’d be OK.” He said. 

Ian saw he was naked except for his khaki shorts. 

“Hmm, ya know.” Ian said as he reached for his shorts. Mickey’s eyes lit up and his lips turned up at the corners of his mouth.

“Would now be considered ‘later’ ya think?

“Hm.” Mickey looked up and thought as his hands moved over Ian’s shoulders. “Could be.” he said.

“I think so.” Ian said and stood up, he pulled at the waistband and it popped open and his zipper went down, he saw Mickey’s eyes go wide as they fell to the floor and Ian slid down his shorts. Mickey looked toward the window and took a step back and Ian remembered there were over 50 people out there and Ian tried another tactic.

“I don’t know but I think if we’re gonna get married we should probably take a shower.” He said casually. 

“Oh ya! I think you're right!” Mickey said. He forgot about the people outside and it was just them again. Ian took his hand and Mickey practically ran into the bathroom. 

 

Ian was against the side of the shower and Mickey hands were moving over him through the hot water that ran over his chest. Mickey teased him and he looked down, Mickey’s eyes were closed and his tongue was gliding over his cock.

Ian grabbed at his arms as Mickey came up, he was dripping wet and he let the water fall over his face as he slipped his tongue over Ian’s lips and kissed his deeply, his arms went around him and Mickey pulled at him away from the wall, Ian took a ragged breath around his mouth and held his neck as their faces went through the water. He pushed Mickey against the back wall of the shower and Ian slid his open mouth over his neck, Mickey arched into him and his eyes were open and on him when his head came up, he hissed and opened his mouth over his and ran his hands over his sides lifting his arms up over his head. Mickey’s eyes were hot as he turned around. Ian braced one arm over his arms and dug his nails in over his chest. Mickey arched his neck back and Ian closed his mouth over it as he guided himself into him and Ian heard Mickey hiss. 

 

Mickey was naked across the bed holding a smoke in his hand, he was still wet from the shower and still coming down from the hot shower sex. 

He held his hand out and Ian took the smoke and lifted his head over his crossed arms on the bed. He took a drag with his eyes closed and lowered his head to his arms. Mickey smiled and let out a long sigh.

“Good day.” He said.

“Really good.” Ian said and handed the smoke back to him. 

Mickey took a drag and kept his eyes on Ian. He crushed out the smoke and set aside the ashtray on the bed. Ian looked like he was falling asleep, he thought and smiled. He rolled on his side and braced his head on his bent elbow, he moved his hand across Ian’s wet skin and rubbed his back up to his shoulders, Ian hummed.

“Time to get up.” He said softly and kissed his shoulder. 

“Hm.” Ian murmured and moved his head up. ‘That’s a yes.” Mickey thought and smiled. 

“Hey baby.” He said sweetly and Ian smiled and he saw a blush on his face. 

Mickey giggled, he’d been saving that one. 

“You heard me.” Ian said still smiling. 

“Mmmm.” He murmured smiling and moving his hand over Ian’s back.

Ian laughed and opened his eyes. Mickey saw his eyes smiling at him.

“You’re a fuckin’ mushball when you’re drunk.” Mickey said and let go off his head and lowered it to his arm. 

“Yep, I am.” Ian said and shrugged.

“I kinda like it.” Mickey said.

Ian sputtered. “HA.” He said. Mickey smiled, he loved it when Ian was a fuckin’mushball.

“Baby huh.” Mickey said and bit his lower lip and stroked his hand over Ian’s face and hair.

Ian smiled and nodded bringing his head over his shouder. Mickey kept his eyes open and on Ian’s as his lips lowered to his, Mickey’s fingers moved through Ian’s wet hair and Ian’s eyes looked into his as he kissed him, he watched Ian's eyes flash with love and his lips smiled against his.

Ian lifted his head from his lowered it back down to the bed, Mickey pulled him in with one arm and kissed over his back, he felt Ian’s hand move over his head.

“Time to get married man.” He said and stood up. Ian rolled over and Mickey lifted his eyebrows and looked down his naked body.

“Or..?” He said and Ian laughed. Ian held out his arm and Mickey grabbed it biting his lip and pulled Ian up to him, Ian’s arms came around him as he caught him. They were both smiling like idiots.

Mickey kissed him and Ian rested his arms on his shoulders.

“You are a sex fiend. “ Ian said

Mickey’s eyes widened. “You’re JUST figuring this out.” He asked and brought a hand up.

“No.” Ian laughed. “When you’re drunk.” 

“Ya I am, oh hey speaking of that.” He said and brought Ian’s mouth down to his and teased his tongue over his lips and onto Ian's tongue. Ian let out a hot breath and Mickey's hands slid over his sides down to his hips. He deepened the kiss and murmured "Mmm." against Ian's lips. 

Mickey pulled away.

“OK let’s get married.” He said tapping Ian’s cheek and stepping away.

Ian growled low in his throat. 

Mickey laughed as he walked into the bathroom. He threw a towel at Ian and it his him in the arm and dropped to the floor, Ian turned his head and gave him a dirty look. He giggled and dried himself off looking in the mirror. He pushed the towel over his head and wrapped it around his waist and opened the hair gel listening to Ian grumble. He laughed and heard Ian say from the bedroom. 

"I love you but I could punch you, just sayin'" 

He laughed and called back,

"Nope, no black eyes at this wedding."

Ian laughed back to him.

“Heidi just texted me.” He heard. 

“From outside?” Mickey asked as he came through the door.

“Ya, what are you doing in there? Smiley face.” He said and laughed. Mickey stopped and put his hands up.

“What is she the frickin’ sex police now.“ Mickey said and tried to not think about Heidi thinking about what they were doing in here. He walked around the bed to the closet and unzipped a bag still on the hanger and smiled, it was his. He pulled out both hangers and laid them on the bed. He reached down and pulled out the dress shoes they had bought in one hellish trip to the mall. 

“What’s this?” he heard and saw Ian holding up the binder. He took the towel off and picked up a pair of shorts Ian had thrown on the bed from the drawer he opened. 

“Frick brought it with the marriage license.” He said and Ian flipped through it. He kept his eyes on him and took the bags off of the hangers.

“Huh, your deal.” Ian said. 

“Yep.” he said and stepped into his shorts. 

Ian flipped through the pages with his eyebrows together.

“Come on man, get dressed.” He said. A blaring alarm went off in his head as Ian looked at him, he knew he was hiding something. He tilted his head and brought a hand up, Ian just stared. He gave up the dumb act and dropped his hand . 

“It was part of the gift.” he said sitting down. Ian didn’t get it.

“I wasn’t going to tell you about it until tomorrow.” He said and Ian’s eyes widened and he turned to him with his eyes dark. They didn’t keep things from each other and he had kept going to his house and this from him in one day. 

“Listen, I know that today means a lot to you and I didn’t want to fuck it up.”

“OK.” Ian said. “What?” 

Mickey lifted his hand and Ian turned his head and glared at him. Mickey glared back and Ian lifted the binder and he took it flipping to the back page and handed it back to Ian. 

Ian’s eyes fell to the page and Mickey looked away. He leaned over and grabbed a smoke from the bed and lit it and rubbed a hand over his face when he saw Ian tense up. 

“What the fuck? Ian said and looked at Mickey. “Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Mickey shook his head, Ian turned away and walked to the dresser slamming the binder down. Mickey smoked and looked over at him bracing on the dresser and pushing himself back and forth. He straightened up and picked up the marriage certificate, he rubbed a hand over his face and he heard him say, 

"Fuck." very quietly.

Mickey crushed out the cigarette and stood up.

“Ian.” He said. 

Ian shook his head, Mickey came up behind him and reached his hand out to his back.

“Hey.” He said. He felt Ian’s chest rising and falling quickly, he moved his hands over his sides and Ian put the certificate down.

Mickey gently turned him around. Ian’s eyes were down and he lifted his chin and brought his face up.

Ian’s eyes came up and Mickey’s heart sank when he saw the tears in his eyes. 

“This is real.” He said holding his face and kissed him. 

“This is real.” He said and lifted his hand with his ring. Ian put his hand over his wrist and held it tightly.

“We’re real. I love you and I’ll marry you every week if that’s what you want.” He said with a nod.

Ian smiled a little and his heart lifted. 

“I would too.” Ian said.

Mickey nodded.

Ian started to speak and closed his mouth. 

Mickey waited.

“I wanted this because I don’t want you to think I only married you to go with you.” Ian said. 

There it was, what Ian had been trying to not say with words but with actions since they got home. 

“I don’t think that.” He said. “I think you married me because I give you back rubs and make you coffee but to go into witness protection? No.” He pulled Ian back and forth with him as he swayed and gave Ian a smile.

“You’re right, seeing that it made it less real for a minute but I know we’re real and the past two years have been the best.” Ian said. 

“Well, year and a half. “Mickey said casually.

“Oh well ya.” Ian said and smiled. 

Mickey chuckled.

“But this is us, here.” Ian said. “You, me...all of it.”

Mickey knew he was right, they had grown up here. They had become who they were here and they had become them here. 

“Ya, it is.” He said with a smile and a tilt of his head. 

Ian smiled back at him and Mickey wrapped his arms around him pulled him in, he felt Ian’s chest move up and down steadily and he closed his eyes. He squeezed him tightly and grunted, he felt Ian laugh against him and pulled back resting his arms on his shoulders.

“You knew huh.” Ian said.

“Maybe.” Mickey said and he saw Ian’s face turn and his eyes stay on his.

“Ya and you knew I was hiding something.” Mickey said, stepping back and picking up his dress pants

“Two somethings.” Ian said. “Jeez, is that like our superpower?” 

“I don’t know man, it's married I guess.” Mickey said with a laugh “Frick said that.”

“Said what?” Ian asked as he lifted his shirt off the bed.

“Said we were already married, he just made it official. “

Mickey pulled up his dress pants and zipped them up. 

“Is that what he said, why he did it?” Ian asked.

Mickey shook his head and looked at Ian in his blue shirt. “Whoo nice.” He said cocking his head and Ian smiled. 

“What’d he say?” Ian asked. 

Mickey slipped his gray shirt on and Ian looked him over and bit his lip. 

“He said what I have with you is rare and he didn’t think I knew it.” Mickey said with a smile.

Ian shook his head and rolled his eyes and Mickey laughed.

“Right?” he said and shook his head buttoning his shirt.

If there was one thing they both knew it was what they had, they had fought for it for seven years. They fought each other for it and they fought the world for it, they knew.


	12. Chapter 12

Lip felt like shit and it wasn’t the alcohol he wasn’t drinking or it wasn’t the hot July sun, he had fucked up. He felt like something was stuck in his throat since Ian got home and he had fucking blasted Mickey in his own kitchen. Mickey had taken it, he had stood there and listened to him put him down, down the ground and had not come at him. 

“You call that love?” The venom in his voice came back to him and he winced. He thought about the look on Mickey’s face when his head had come up was of pure unguarded emotion. He had controlled himself from not going over the counter and he had said and shown with no how he felt about Ian with no hesitation. Lip had heard the words but more than that, he had seen it in his eyes. 

He had said Mickey had made Ian sick as a sharp blade, to cut into him. He didn’t realize Mickey actually believed that and his heart twisted in his chest. He knew it wasn’t true, Ian was predisposed to manic depression and anything could have triggered his first episode. 

Lip didn’t know what it was like to love someone so much you’d die for them except for his family. 

‘Family.’ Lip thought. That’s what Ian was to Mickey. Mickey’s whole body had language changed in an instant when Ian had stepped into the apartment and he had gone to him. Lip had seen that they were communicating mostly with their eyes and Ian had given him a look that made his head go back and his heart sink. He wasn’t pissed, he wasn’t confused, Ian had looked at him absolute disappointment. 

Lip shook his head and ran a hand over his hair.

“Fuck.” He said and Heidi who was standing a few feet away mixing a drink lifted her head.

“Hey there handsome Gallagher.” She said and took her time walking over to him. He looked over the party and lifted his soda to drink it. She came up beside him and looked over the crowd of people with him. 

“I like Chicago.” She said.

“Oh ya?” he said and looked down at her. He grinned despite himself, you couldn’t help but smile at her pretty face and sunny smile. 

“Mm. ya.” she said and lifted her drink. Lip thought about tearing the cup out of her hand and chugging the drink. He turned away and lifted an arm across his chest and held his side.

“Always something to do, always people around.” She said.

“Yeah.” Lip said and scowled. 

“And the pizza?” She lifted her hands and looked up at him shaking her head with an orgasmic look on her face.

Lip laughed at the look on her face. 

She smiled and her face went back to normal. 

“BUT.” She said holding out one hand with her index finger up. “The best part about Chicago.” She said and paused. Lip looked over and she was looking up at him intently. 

“Is my family is here.” She said.

“They are?” Lip asked. “I thought you were from Iowa.” 

“Oh please honey, we’ll have to talk about where I’m from some other time.” She said with narrowed eyes.

“No, that’s my family.” she said and pointed her finger through the crowd. Lip turned in the direction of the nod and saw Ian with his arm wrapped around Mickey’s neck and Ian was laughing at something Mickey had said or done. 

Lip looked down into his cup and shifted his knees back and forth, he shoved a hand in his pocket and he heard.

“That makes you family too, oh gorgeous one. Not like brothers or anything cuz ew!” She said and he felt his face widen into a smile. 

“I don’t look at you in a brotherly way at all.” She said and Lip looked down and she was shaking her head firmly.

“Not that I’d do anything but look.” She said.

“Why not.” Lip said and gave her flirty look.

She turned her eyes to him and they were wide and she shook her head. 

“Duh.” She said. Lip looked back at his soda and knew why, ‘Mandy’. Girls had a code just like guys did and you don’t fuck with a friends ex. He shifted his gaze to Mandy, he had been secretly glancing at her all day when she wasn’t looking. 

“She’s family, you’re family, everyone here is family.” She said and Lip looked down at her, she had a serene look on her face and Lip thought she may have had a little too much to drink. Heidi’s eyes came to his and he saw she wasn’t drunk, she was totally serious. 

Lip knew it wasn’t just Ian she was close to. Mickey was different around Heidi, he was brotherly toward her and almost sweet like he was with Mandy. 

“You kicked his ass.” Lip said and smiled thinking about her chasing big tough Mickey around while Ian had laughed his ass off. 

“Well, you gotta keep an eye on him, he’s sensitive.” She said. 

Lip’s head went back and a smirk came to his face. 

“Mickey!?” He said and Heidi nodded. 

“The tougher he acts, the more pissed off he is the more you know how he feels.”

Lip thought about him shaking and completely losing it while talking to him. He let out a breath and lifted his cup, he held it below his mouth and didn’t drink it. 

“I fucked up.” He shot out and lifted his head.

“Fix it.” She said. He looked down at the steel tone in her voice. She was no tiny pushover he saw as she looked up.

He bit his lip and nodded. 

“The best thing about family.” She said. “Is that they will always forgive you.” Her face lit up with a sunny smile and she scrunched her nose up at him. His face lifted in to half smile and she giggled and walked away toward Mandy. 

Lip saw Mandy turn to her and her face lit up, he watched her with his head down as she lifted her eyes to his. He nodded and she smiled back at him, he felt his heart swell at her smile and he knew the closest he was going to ever come to what Ian and Mickey had was right there. He hadn’t had the balls to stick it out when they were younger. 

Ian and Mickey had.

Through all the shit, through all the crazy times, through all the fists and blood they had taken all the hits and had come out standing together.

Lip looked toward their apartment and knew they were changing for the wedding, he thought about the time and walked over to Fiona.

“Hey.” he said interrupting her talking with Ginny, the Feds wife. 

“Hi sorry.” He said and Ginny smiled. He let his gaze linger on her for a second, she looked totally normal and she was married to a Fed. Fiona was mid laugh and said. 

“Hey have you met Ginny?” She said and held out a hand. “She’s married to a fuckin’ Fed.” and laughed. Ginny grinned and there was a glint in her eye. 

“How else would I end up here on a Saturday in July at a former criminals fucking wedding.” She said with a shrug and Lip heard South Side all through her sarcastic answer. Fiona turned her stunned face to him and shoved his shoulder. 

“Huh?” she said and shook her head smiling. 

Lip smiled and nodded at her.

“Hey can I have the keys.”

“Sure.” she said and reached down into her purse on the table they were standing next to. He cracked his knuckles and shifted his knees.

“Forget something?” she asked.

“No.” he said and took the keys she held out. 

“I ahh need to change. “He said in a quiet voice. Fiona turned her head and her eyebrows came together. 

He turned away and headed around the building to Fiona’s car. He had torn into Mickey without thinking about him or Ian, he had selfishly almost ruined their wedding and Mickey had threatened him over Ian’s happiness for one single day.

Lip shook his head and got in the car, he looked down at the keys and thought about Mickey’s hope that one day he felt a sliver of what they did. He shoved the key in the ignition and turned the key. 

‘I don’t know if I ever will.’ He thought and put the car in drive. He hit the gas and pulled away from the curb. He hoped Heidi was right and that family always forgave you, because he knew now Mickey was his family and he hoped with all of his fucked up heart that Mickey and Ian could forgive him. 

 

Trevor slammed on the brakes and threw the car in park. Dan went forward with a grunt and he unhooked his seat belt and shoved open the door, they were so fucking late. One of his kids had ended up in the ER with slashed wrists, he had sat with him all night and most of the day until a friend from home could get there. He had waited until he was sure he was ok and he saw the friend really loved him and would take him in. He had left and looked at his phone and started jogging toward his car. The barbecue party was all day but the wedding was in 20 minutes.

He walked quickly toward the building and heard the party in the backyard. He saw the light from the fire and the shadows of people and headed toward them. He took a breath when he saw it was still a party and not a wedding yet. 

“Hey!” He heard and Fiona was walking over with her arm out and a drink in her hand.

“Oh my God did I miss it?” he asked in a rush when her arm came around his neck.

“Nope, they’re inside changing.” She said. 

She pulled away and smiled at Dan.

“Oh sorry, this is Dan.” He said and Fiona held out her arm and Dan smiled as her arm came around his neck. 

“Fiona.” He said with a smile. “Ian’s sister.” Fiona let his neck go and waved an arm to them.

“Come on, the drinks are over here.” She said and Trevor relaxed and followed her. 

He saw a tiny, tiny woman scowling at her phone in a very short dress.

“Who’s that?” He asked. 

“You haven’t met Heidi? Fiona asked. He shook his head at her.

“Heidi!” She called out and she lifted her head. Trevor smiled immediately when he saw her head come up and look around in the fire light. 

“Over here.” Fiona called out and Heidi saw her and smiled, her whole face was like lit up Christmas tree Trevor thought.

She came bounding over. “Hi.” She said as she jumped into his arms.

“Hi.” He said laughing. 

“You’re Trevor.” She said and looked up at him.

“You’re Heidi.” He said. She nodded and her eyes went wide like he was a genius, he laughed and introduced Dan again, and he got a hug from Heidi as well.

Dan laughed and said. “Is everyone this friendly on the South Side?”

Heidi nodded and Fiona laughed and drank from her cup.

“Ooo drinks!” Heidi said and moved to the table. “I have created, with my astounding knowledge of alcohol what I think is the perfect drink for today, are you in?” she asked with a turn of her head.

Trevor laughed and nodded. She mixed and stirred while he looked over the crowd, there were so many people here, but he knew Ian was just so easy to get along with and so easy to love. He hadn’t met Mickey yet, he had been so busy with the Center and Ian had been so busy with getting his job back and the wedding they had only seen each other once for coffee. He had wanted to come by the house but that would be weird and from everything he heard about Mickey he figured it was best to meet him here, in public where there were lots of witnesses in case he decided to snap his neck. 

Heidi handed them their drinks and Trevor took a sip.

“Mm.” he said and Heidi said “Riggght?” He nodded taking another and looked down trying to figure out what was in it, whiskey definitely but something sweet as well. He drank and held Dan’s hand and thought , no it wasn’t weird at all to be at his ex-boyfriends wedding to the guy he ran off with and then married after he thought he was dead. He laughed to himself and took another sip of the excellent drink. 

He saw Heidi bounce and her skirt went up dangerously high, he lifted an eyebrow and she clapped looking over to the house.

Trevor turned where she was looking, he saw Ian and his mouth dropped open, he looked amazing. His hair was glowing in the fire light that was bright enough to reach him and his face was lit up into a beautiful smile. His shirt was cobalt blue and it fit him perfectly, he had on black fitted dress pants that only made the blue of the shirt brighter. Trevor looked at his happy face and he had a look he had never seen on Ian’s face before, he couldn’t really identify it until he saw a shorter man with dark hair come out behind Ian.

He saw Mickey for the first time and his brain clicked off. He blinked and realized NO he wasn’t just imagining he was that gorgeous. His clothes were slightly different from Ian’s but they definitely matched. His shirt was a dark smoky gray and his black dress pants were a little baggy but still fit him in all the right places. His skin was light but had an olive undertone and even at a distance Trevor could see his bright blue eyes. He saw Mickey’s face spread into a smile and he literally took Trevor’s breath away, his lungs stopped and he stood with his mouth open staring at Mickey’s face in the firelight. 

“Holy shit.” He said and Dan said. “UH YA.” 

Trevor turned his head and tore his gaze from Mickey. 

Dan was looking at him with the same face he had, Trevor nodded solemnly and Dan laughed. 

He turned back to them, they were coming down the stairs and everyone cheered. Trevor watched Mickey shrug and his tongue came out over his top lip as he let his feet fall quickly down the steps. He had a swagger and an air that was ALL man and Trevor shook his head.

“Maaan, totally get it now. Wooow.” He said and raised his eyebrows trying to get over how fucking gorgeous Mickey was, but he also saw the way Mickey looked at Ian and it was written all over his face how much Mickey loved him.

Dan took his hand and pulled him forward, he shook his head.

“Come on.” Dan said. Trevor grunted and let Dan pull him closer. Trevor tried to hide behind Dan, but he wasn’t much taller than him and he saw Mickey’s eyes flicker over him and look away. 

“Oh shit.” He said quietly and looked down at the grass behind Dan. He looked up after a couple of seconds and Mickey eyes were waiting for him. Trevor felt his stomach drop, and he felt the rush of Mickey’s intense blue eyes on him.

‘Oh my God.’ He thought. ‘He’s going to kill me and I’m drooling over him.’ He tried to smile and Mickey’s eyes narrowed and his chin came up.

Trevor felt his stomach roll.

“Jesus.” He said and shook his head. ‘Ok, he can kill me as long as I get to see that amazing face as I die.’ He thought and as he turned his eyes away toward the house casually or so he hoped. 

Ian had stopped to talk to someone and his back was turned to him. He glanced back and saw Mickey turn his eyes to Ian and put his hand on Ian’s wrist, he saw the back of Ian’s head turn toward him and Mickey eyes come back to him, he nodded his head toward Trevor and Ian turned his upper body around. Trevor saw Ian’s face change when he saw him, Ian smiled his biggest smile and said,

“Hey!” Trevor smiled and he rushed over to him with his arms wide. 

“You made it.” Ian said as his big arms came around him and Trevor hugged him and he felt Ian’s tight grip. 

“Oh man.” Ian said and Trevor opened his eyes and saw Mickey looking at them as he started walking away. When had seen him take his wrist to let him know he was here and his heart had swelled. Mickey loved Ian enough to let him know someone he cares about and maybe even was waiting for was here for him, even if he was an ex-boyfriend. 

Trevor closed his eyes and held Ian tighter. Ian pulled away and held his arms looking down at him. Trevor smiled at how happy he looked to see him. 

“You look awesome.” He said looking down at his clothes. 

“Oh man so do you.” Ian said immediately and Trevor laughed. Ian turned to Dan.

“Hey.”Ian said. Dan brought his hand up and waved at Ian. 

“Everything OK? I thought you weren’t coming.” Ian said.

“I had a bad one.” He said and Ian nodded and squeezed his arm. Trevor brought his arm up under his.

“I wouldn’t miss this.” He said and Ian smiled his sweet loving smile. 

“Oh wait.” Ian said and turned around. “Where’d he go?” Trevor had been glancing over as Mickey had walked away, he had seen Lip walk over to him and saw what looked like a short intense conversation and Mickey had moved closer to the fire as Lip watched him walk away. 

Trevor held up his hand and pointed.

Mickey was standing with his arms crossed over his chest and he was looking over at them. He had seen Ian turn and his arms came out and a smile spread across his face, he tilted his head and Ian smiled like he was watching his first sunrise and he turned back to Trevor.

“Gotta go.” He said and Trevor nodded and that was all he could do. He had been almost knocked over by the light of Ian’s smile as he had turned to him. Ian turned and weaved through people and Trevor felt Dan’s hand around his waist. 

“He’s nice.” Dan said. Trevor felt the tears in his eyes and nodded. 

He felt a pang of loss at losing Ian but mostly he felt his love for Ian and he saw clearly how over the moon happy Ian was with Mickey. He weaved his hand through Dan’s arm and Trevor sniffed. Ian walked to Mickey quickly and they stood together. Trevor saw Mickey’s face change to a little smirk and his shoulder lift. Ian held out his hand and Mickey took it, it was almost unnoticeable but Trevor was watching them intently and saw they were talking to each other like there was no one else around. Mickey’s face turned to the side and he said something with his eyes wide and gave Ian a wicked smile and Ian nodded his head smiling his gorgeous smile.

What Mickey did, pointing him out to Ian on their wedding day was one of the sweetest things he had ever seen, he smiled and turned to Dan.

“They both are.” He said and they moved closer to the fire. 

 

Lip waited calmly for them and drank his soda, he wanted a beer more than he wanted to breathe at the moment but he knew he couldn’t. He had smoked some weed at home while he had changed and that had taken the edge off a little. He was hot in his dark dress pants and white long sleeved shirt Amanda had bought him but he didn’t care. He took out his smokes and lit one as he talked to Carl, he had loved blowing up the pile of wood and was really happy and maybe a little drunk. Lip hissed out the smoke and looked over at the door of the building. There were people standing at the bottom of the steps talking but no Mickey and Ian yet. He looked down at his smoke and shifted on his legs.

“You alright man? “Carl asked.

“Ya.” He said. Carl’s eyes narrowed and Lip smiled.

“Just hot in this shit.” He said and took a drag, he handed it to Carl.

“Ya,” Carl said. “No shit.”

Carl didn’t ask why he was dressed up, no one did. They assumed he was Ian’s best man, he should be he thought but Ian hadn’t asked him. He had made it clear since they came home that he wanted nothing to do with Mickey. Lip heard a cheer and looked over toward the door, Ian and Mickey were coming down the steps with smiles on their faces. Mickey grinned and gave everyone a shrug.

He saw Mickey totally differently than even earlier today, his love for Ian poured out of him and Lip saw it for the first time. He took a breath and looked at Ian as they had stopped in front of Sutter and Ginny. Ian smiled and he tilted his head looking down as Ginny ran her hand over his arm and Ian looked around and pointed to Westford, Ginny glanced over and nodded. Lip watched Ian with a small smile on his face listen to Sutter and he pushed at his arm over something he said, and even at a distance he could hear them laugh. 

He saw Ian’s head turn and he looked at Mickey. 

“Jesus.” He said and looked away. The pit in his gut intensified and he felt his eyes sting, how could he not have seen THAT? The look on his brother’s face was one of pure happiness and he had tried to fuck with that.

He looked back and saw Ian with his arms out walk over to Trevor. Mickey was watching them, he saw a little spark of jealousy but turned away toward the fire and he saw Mickey’s smile widen as he saw Westford and nodded to him. 

Lip got his shit together and took the five steps into his path. Mickey’s eyes came to him, his face fell to a neutral look and he stopped. Lip saw him take in the clothes but he didn’t speak. Mickey crossed his arms and braced on his legs.

“I’d like to…”He started and trailed off. 

“If it’s cool.” He said and Mickey just waited.

“I’d like to be up there with you and Ian.” He said finally. Mickey didn’t move but his eyes changed, he turned his head and looked into the crowd, Lip saw his eyes soften the instant they fell on Ian. Mickey nodded and shifted his legs under him. 

“Ya, OK.” Mickey said and he looked back at him. 

Lip looked away, it was that easy? Shit he was an idiot.

“Listen man…’He said and Mickey brought a hand up. 

“You had something to say, it’s over. We’re good. ” Mickey said in a low voice and Lip saw in his eyes he was being totally truthful and he nodded.

“Think Ian’s still pissed?” He asked and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Ya.” Mickey said plainly. “But he wants you up there. “ 

Lip shook his head and rubbed his hand over his neck.

“Trust me.” Mickey said with a grin and Lip nodded. 

Mickey turned to the fire and rolled his eyes, he looked back at Lip shook his head. Lip smiled at him and Mickey walked away toward Westford.

“What the fuck man, you look better than me!” He heard and Westford laughed behind him. Lip turned and watched him walk quickly to Westford, and when he slowed down and stopped in front of Westford, they were talking but Mickey had his back to him. Mickey turned his head and he saw Mickey’s happy face in profile as he looked back into the crowd toward Ian. 

 

Ian walked up to Mickey in front of the blazing fire and his heart sighed. Mickey was smiling at him with his head tilted.

“Here I am.” Ian said.

“Bout time.” Mickey said with a teasing smile. 

Ian let out a laugh and said.

“Oh you were waiting long?” He teased and turned his head to the side.

“Eh, I’d wait longer.” Mickey said. 

Ian held out his hand and felt Mickey’s hand close around his. 

“Oh ya?”He said.

Mickey shrugged one shoulder and twisted his face but his eyes were sparkling into his.

“Thanks.” He said quietly. 

Mickey nodded and squeezed his hand. Mickey knew he was worried Trevor wouldn’t come today. Even though Mickey had all kinds of feelings about Trevor he had let him know he was here, and Ian felt his love for Mickey grow even more. 

“But that ring on your finger is mine bitch.” Mickey said with a wicked smile. 

Ian nodded his head. “Ya it is!” He said with a smile. 

 

Lip took a long breath and walked over slowly to Ian and Mickey with his hands in his pockets. Ian turned his eyes to him and he saw his eyes change from happy to surprised and a little confused. Lip looked down at himself and moved his hands out bringing his pant legs out from his legs. 

“I’m dressed, but if you don’t me …” He started and looked back. Ian smiled at him with so much joy Lip felt his eyes start to fill, he looked down at the ground and he saw Ian’s dress pants and shoes take a step toward him and felt Ian’s arms come around him, he sniffed into his shoulder and hugged him hard.

“I’m sorry man.” He said gruffly. Ian held him tighter and he closed his eyes and felt all the tension fall away. Ian was his family and he forgave him, always.

Ian pulled his head back holding on to his arms and saw Ian’s eyes were filled with tears as well.

“Ahh.” He grunted and pushed a finger over his eyes, they both looked down and rubbed at their eyes. 

“Enough with the waterworks, jeez.” He heard and brought his eyes up to his brother in law. He was braced on one leg and shook his head and brought a hand up. 

They both laughed quietly and Lip saw Mickey’s teasing eyes as he gave Lip a quick smile.

“We doin’ this or what?” Mickey said and waved his arms toward the fire.

“Yeah.” Ian said “But…” he trailed off and Mickey dropped his hands and tilted his head, his eyebrows went up and Lip laughed. Ian looked around and called out,

“Hey Mandy!” Lip turned and saw Mandy stop dead and turn her pretty face toward them. 

Ian waved her toward them and her face twisted up. ‘Just like Mickey’s’ Lip thought and smiled.

“Com’on.” Ian said waving to her. 

“Yeah.” Mickey said quietly and Ian smiled at him as Mickey nodded with his eyes on Mandy.

Mandy came to them and said “What?” 

“You gonna stand up here with me?” Mickey said with a smile. 

Mandy's eyes filled and she took a step toward Mickey, he caught her as she hugged him.

“That a yes?” Mickey said and giggled. Lip’s head went back. Mickey giggled? 

“Yes!” Mandy said and straightened up. 

“Good.” Mickey said firmly and Mandy punched his arm.

“Hey!” Mickey said and gave her a dirty look.

“That’s for not thinking about it before.” She said.

“Ya OK? Like I’m supposed to know how this shit works.” Mickey said his eyes wide and questioning. 

“We did get married before.” Ian said and Mickey turned his wide eyes to Ian. 

“Ya but it was fucking Frick there and the other one.” Mickey said waving a hand.

“The other one?” Lip said.

Mickey’s eyes came to his and Mickey bit his lower lip and shook his head at him and Lip laughed. He really didn’t want to talk anymore, he wanted to get married and his eyes stared bullets at Lip.

“Oh ya, he was a total dick! I punched him!” Ian said with a bright smile. 

“Ya?” Mandy said and saw Mickey cross his arms out of the corner of his eye. 

“Twice I think, or was it just once…..” Ian said and trailed off thinking, Lip laughed at Mickey glaring at them all. 

“It was twice, come on let’s gooo!.” Mickey said and turned his upper body.

“No, I think it was once.” Ian said looking down with his brow furrowed. Mickey let out a huff and put his hand up in front of his face as he shook his head. 

Ian lifted his eyes to Mickey’s and they narrowed, Mickey’s eyes flickered and his face lit up.

“Oh ha ha, fuck with a guy on his wedding day.” Mickey said. Ian’s eyebrow went up and Lip could have sworn he saw Mickey blush, but it was probably just the fire light. What he did see was Mickey’s face freeze and he glanced at him quickly, his teeth come out over his lip as his eyes went down to the ground and he shifted his weight to one leg and he let out an “uhhh” sound.

Ian laughed and stepped over to him between him and Mandy. He held his face and brought it up to look at him, Ian smiled and Mickey’s eyes changed. 

“Oh ya, you’re lucky I fuckin' love you” Mickey said and Ian giggled. 

"I fuckin' love you too" Ian said and Mickey laughed.

Lip looked at Mandy and she was looking him right in the eye. What they could have had moved between them and Lip felt his heart break a little bit more. 

 

Sutter had his arm around Ginny and saw Ian and Mickey standing together with Mandy and Lip in front of the fire. They were talking and laughing until Westford stepped up in front of them facing the crowd. Lip and Mandy stepped back a few steps and stopped taking their places. The people in the crowd didn’t realize it was starting but he watched Westford’s face and saw him look back and forth between Ian and Mickey as he started to speak in a low tone.

The crowd got quieter as Westford continued to speak. He heard the last words of a sentence.

“…for a second time.” Westford said. Ian scrunched his nose up at Mickey, he watched Mickey’s face soften and he could see with total clarity the pure light that came from Mickey as the sweetest smile lit up his face.

Ginny sniffed, he looked down at her and squeezed her closer to his side. She wiped her face and he smiled and looked back up to Ian and Mickey. It was quiet now except for Westford’s voice and the crackle of the fire.

“There are times when you hurt the person you love most in the world and I’m sure they have the scars to prove that.” Westford said in light tone. The crowd laughed quietly and Westford went on.

“But love, real love can wash all of that away.”

Mickey took a step toward Ian and he smiled sweetly at Ian. Their hands moved together and around each other’s and Sutter saw their fingers thread together, their hands hanging between them. Mickey reached out for his other hand and Ian moved his hand around his until their hands were clasped together in the same way. He saw Ian’s eyes fill over with tears and Mickey lifted his hand still in his and wiped a tear away with his thumb. Ian smiled and sniffed taking a big breath.

“They aren’t scars anymore. They’re only reminders of how you came to this moment together.” Westford said. 

Sutter heard sniffs all around him and he turned his head away and wiped his eyes, he blinked them and felt Ginny looking up at him. He looked down and she smiled and put her head and arm on his chest. 

“We all know who Mickey and Ian are individually but Mickey and Ian together is how they were always meant to be.” Westford voice cracked and lowered his head and shook it trying to contain himself, he looked back up into the crowd and smiled when his eyes found what he was looking for. 

“From the moment Mickey said ‘Gallagher?’ Westford said with a surprise toned and there was a bigger laugh from the crowd. He remembered the tire iron story and knew most people here didn’t know the story, but they knew Mickey and Ian well enough to know it wasn’t always easy between them. 

“…they started down a path that twisted and turned but never ended and never will” 

Sutter looked at Mickey’s face and saw he was as still as the first time they stood together in front of Westford, he had added what Mickey would usually consider mush but Mickey was looking at Ian like he was the only person there and Sutter knew he wasn’t hearing anything being said, he was only listening to Ian. 

 

Mickey saw Westford come up between them and laughed as he gave him a stern look. He turned his eyes to Ian and Ian was smiling at him with his eyes. Westford took a moment and looked back and forth between them and Mickey rolled his eyes for Ian. 

‘We’re in for it.’ His eyes said.

‘Yep but let him, he likes this.’

‘Jeez alright’ He saw Ian’s nose scrunch up at him and his heart and soul moved through him. 

Ian watched Mickey smile at him and heard with half an ear what Westford was saying. He head the crowds laugh but was focusing only on Mickey. Every detail of him was known to him, every color blue in his eyes, the shape of his hands and every layer of his tough sweet heart that was only his. Everything he wanted was right here just like the first time they got married. He felt all the love rolling off of Mickey in soft waves and felt his eyes fill and Mickey took a step toward him, he smiled as he remembered their last wedding when Mickey took the same step toward him.

‘‘I’ll be here with you every time.’ Mickey’s eyes said. 

Ian felt his hands move into his and tightened his fingers around his. 

‘We getting married again?’ his eyes teased.

‘Every day.’ His eyes said. Ian’s chest swelled and his eyes spilled over. He saw Mickey’s eyes flash through his tears.

He felt his their hands move up to his face and wipe away his tears and saw Mickey blink away his own tears.

Ian had loved him for so long he didn't remember not loving Mickey, he thought back to the start and it was a crazy crush at first and it had become more and then it had become everything. They had been through hell and back a few times, they had pushed and pulled, fought each other and for each other They may have pushed each other but they had never given up on each other, they were best friends first and always. 

Then, it was sometimes too much to love someone with everything you had and with that came the power to hurt them deeply. Now, he knew that it was a part of this crazy love that was every part of his soul.

He remembered in the car ride to Mexico the first time when he had come to the realization of what this love was.

This love was everything you had in you was brought out and every aspect of your soul was exposed. It was every part of you in it. It makes you strong and every good part of you becomes better. But the best in you can become the worst in you, all the fears you have about yourself and the darkness inside you creeps out. The things you say you will never do, you do them for each other without question or thought. You let it break you and heal you. It’s every good thing you will ever do and it’s the ugliness in you that you want to forget. Sometimes it would stop your breath and other times it would be the only time you could really breathe. This love was everything in you brought to the surface and everything that pulled you under until you drowned.

This love was still all of that but they had tempered the hurricane of it into every day life and that was all he had ever wanted. Mickey was his heart, his fire and steel and the air that filled his lungs. 

Mickey's eyes stared into his soul and read every word on his heart and he saw his eyes fill and he blinked and Ian smiled.

‘OK, let’s get it together.’ His eyes said to Mickey.

‘Right.’ He took a breath and his eyes smiled at him.

“They aren’t scars anymore. They’re only reminders of how you came to this moment together.” They both heard.

Mickey’s eyes widened and he blinked again.

Ian lifted his head and felt his own tears.

“We all know who Mickey and Ian are individually but Mickey and Ian together is how they were always meant to be.” And Westford’s voice cracked. 

‘Fuck.’ They said to each other at the same time and their hands tightened together. They both looked at Westford and saw him smile into the crowd. 

‘Focus.’ Ian said when his eyes came back to his.

‘On you? I can do that.’ Mickey smiled and did focus on him while everything else floated away, he didn’t hear the crowd laugh or hear Westford, there was only Ian. He was everything, it was that simple and Ian loved him. He didn’t know why and had stopped asking himself that question a long time ago but to him it was still kind of a miracle. He saw it as he looked in Ian’s eyes and he felt it all the way to his bones, Ian loved him with all of his heart and through his beautiful soul and every dark part of him lightened and every broken corner of his heart was healed.

‘I do love you’ Ian said into his eyes, reading his perfectly, 

‘I know.’ He smiled brightly at him. He saw Ian’s beautiful heart and knew there was a time he couldn’t accept this love.

‘I will say it and show you every day to make up for every time I couldn’t before.” He promised with his eyes and all of his heart. 

Ian smiled his beautiful smile at him.

He could say it now and show how he felt to other people and that was all Ian. Ian was the edges of his heart and the blood in his veins, he was his best friend and his partner in all things. When he was young he couldn’t say the words Ian had needed to hear and he had lost him. Losing Ian had been like his heart being ripped out and he didn’t even know it at the time. He had slowly come to say the words in his heart and soul, and he loved the way Ian’s face lit up and his eyes softened when he spoke from his heart. 

“I love you. ’He said with his eyes.

Ian’s eye lit up for him and he felt his heart beat in his chest and the air in his lungs and Ian.

Mickey tightened his fingers on his. 

“Ian.” Westford said. 

‘Shit.’ He saw in Ian’s eyes. 

‘You got this.’ Mickey smiled. 

‘Ya, cuz I got you.’ Ian’s eyes said as he took a deep breath.

“The day I married you was the best day of my life up until that point, and every day after it was better than the one before. You know me better than I know myself and you love me anyway.” Ian said with a smile.

He looked down at Mickey’s chest and Mickey waited until his eyes came back up. 

“This wasn’t always easy, but loving you always was. You are my every good memory and the best part of me. You are my heart, and I’ll love you and stand with you every day for the rest of my life.” 

Mickey took a deep breath and felt Ian’s words move over his heart. Ian smiled and squeezed his hands. 

Mickey looked down at their hands. It seemed like such a little thing but to them it was everything they were. Everything about them was there in their hands, the love, the fights, the sex. The reaching out to each other and pushing each other away. Giving each other a reminder the other was there in that moment, the rings from their first wedding Ian had bought for them and the tattoo in his skin because he couldn’t bear to not have Ian with him when they weren’t physically together. 

The image of the first time he had taken Ian’s hand at the baseball field came into his mind. He had looked at Ian and felt this, what they have now start to grow in him. 

“Mick” Westford said.

Mickey let his eyes linger on their hands and felt Ian’s thumb move over his skin. He brought his eyes up to Ian’s and felt all the years of love, laughter and fight. He felt all the ways he loved him and felt Ian’s love as clearly as he felt his hands tighten around his fingers. 

He opened his mouth to speak and realized in that moment there were no words to tell Ian how he truly felt about him. He smiled thinking about the younger him who couldn’t say any of the words and now there weren’t enough of them. He watched Ian's eyes soften as he read his eyes. 

He thought of the word that meant everything to him, it was love to him, it was laughter to him and it was his whole world. He opened his mouth and started to say the words of his heart with the only word that mattered,

“Ian..”


End file.
